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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26722780">Lies #5: Sanders</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverRaySong/pseuds/RiverRaySong'>RiverRaySong</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lies [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Background Deceit | Janus Sanders, Background Thomas Sanders, Body Horror, Christianity, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders &amp; Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Joan Stokes - Freeform, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Morally Neutral Deceit | Janus Sanders, Panic Attacks, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Psychological Horror, Self-Harm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:28:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>55,965</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26722780</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverRaySong/pseuds/RiverRaySong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>~A Sanders Sides horror fanfic~ Five books. Four survivors. Three captives. Two villains. One chance to finally accept the dark, ugly deeds committed in the past.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lies [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787554</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This fanfic is the fifth installment of the Lies series. It is essential to read the four preceding books before continuing with this one. If you have not read all of them, you will not understand the entirety of this book. You can read them #1-#4 or #4-#1, although the recommended way is #1-#4.</p><p>This fanfic contains disturbing topics. If any of the following warnings specify one of your triggers, do not read. Reader discretion advised.</p><p>TW: Gore, serious mental disorders, suicide contemplation, panic attacks, self harm, discussion of religion, homophobia, mentions of rape, usage of uncensored swearing, slight incestic behavior, depictions of ADHD/Autism, and murder.</p><p>This fanfic is on the longer side, at 55,816 words. If you prefer the previous shorter stories, please try this story anyways- it will be well worth your time.</p><p>That is all. Enjoy this fanfic.</p><p>********************</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Virgil:</strong> </em>
</p><p>On a dark, overcast October day in Brooklyn, New York City, Virgil Sanders had no idea how many people were “out and about in the city” and he didn’t care. He didn’t care about the foreboding weather, whether it was cool or hot or if the sun was even shining- which it wasn’t. In the depths of the suburban life, in his small apartment, Virgil was preparing to take the bus all the way down to Gainesville, Florida, to rescue a little boy named Dante from the clutches of an evil serial killer who had murdered an entire tourist group at an art gallery one month before.</p><p>Virgil was sitting on his kitchen counter, his knees up against his chest, as he stress-sketched the toaster. After a whole month of preparing for tomorrow- November 1<sup>st</sup>, 2020- the stress was driving him <em>insane</em>. Dante had been with that terrible person for an entire <em>month</em>! What if he was injured? What if he was having worse hallucinations? What if they were torturing him? What if he was dead and the serial killer and their associate just wanted to lure Virgil to Gainesville for some twisted, evil plot? Like always, his thoughts began to spiral out of control. <em>Breathe in for seven seconds.</em> Letting the sketchbook and pencil drop out of his hands, he focused on slowing his breathing down. <em>One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.</em> Slowly, over the course of a few minutes, Virgil managed to calm himself down. This was something he had been practicing a lot more lately, instead of letting himself fall into panic attack after panic attack. He had to be strong for Dante.</p><p>The bus to Gainesville was leaving in 20 minutes- it was 6 PM currently, and he would arrive at 9 AM. It was strange that the location of the meeting was to be in Virgil’s hometown. <em>Did they pick it on purpose?</em> If the killer <em>was</em> that teen from all that time ago when Virgil had been sexually assaulted, then Virgil wouldn’t be that surprised. <em>How does it all connect, though? What is the big picture? Will I ever know? Or will I wonder about it for the rest of my life?</em></p><p>This meeting wasn’t going to go how the killers were expecting, that was for sure. Virgil had been training for an entire month, day and night, and he was ready to take on whatever they threw at him. Not only was he a lot stronger, but he had practiced hand-to-hand combat and knew had to use a knife expertly. <em>Nothing</em> was going to stop Virgil from saving Dante. <em>I’m done running from my problems- it’s time to fight!</em> So, on his way out the door, Virgil stuck his two trusty ugly-looking knives and put them on the inside of his boots. <em>They won’t know what hit them.</em></p><p>And so, Virgil left his haven and ventured back out into the city to find his bus stop.</p><p>The bus was large and dull, as there was no sunshine to reflect off the black metal. The bus was almost entirely full, as there was going to be lots of stops on the way down to the opposite end of the United States. <em>A 15-hour drive… time to do some commissions.</em> Ever since the art gallery attack, Virgil had been taking on more and more commissions to fill out his time and prevent him from dwelling on Dante too much. The money he earned was obviously nice to have, but usually he could only handle a few requests at a time. Now, though, he was steamrolling through them, and he couldn’t stop drawing. He’d even taken to physical painting, creating images that were his visions of the emotions and questions that clouded his head until he couldn’t see straight.</p><p>After finishing one of his three commissions, Virgil let himself sleep. Lately, he hadn’t been getting much of it; he was too worried about Dante. Although, the choice to sleep wasn’t entirely his. He had been leaning his head against the window to look out at the countryside, and as the night got darker his eyes had drifted shut until he was conked out. His dreams were empty, with no plots to traverse through. It was relaxing to say the least, and when Virgil woke up to see dawn on the horizon, he felt refreshed.</p><p>There weren’t many other people on the bus by the time they passed over the border to Florida. Most of them had gotten off at other towns, small and large. They were all types of people. Now that there were a lot less of them, Virgil felt more comfortable studying them. He pulled out his sketchpad and began to sketch the man across the aisle from him. He was middle-aged, probably in his thirties; he had long black hair that went just past his shoulders. There were a small pair of square-shaped glasses perched on his nose. He almost looked like an anime character. <em>Probably going down to visit his parents- he looks like he lives in NYC.</em></p><p>The next person Virgil decided to sketch was a very tired looking man, probably in his early twenties like Virgil himself. He had slightly curly ginger hair and the boldest amber eyes Virgil had ever seen. His jaw had a sharp outline, and the expression he wore on his face told Virgil that he was extremely tired- that or stressed out of his life. He was wearing a red long-sleeved shirt to contrast with his white pants and pale brown boots. To be honest, Virgil had to admit he was kind of hot. <em>Ugh, don’t think like that! He could be a rapist, or a con man. You can never know!</em> Truly, any time Virgil felt any attraction towards anyone, they became his number one prime suspect of danger. <em>I need to keep an eye on him. Because he’s dangerous, obviously!</em></p><p>It was then that the man looked straight up at Virgil, and their gazes locked.</p><p>Extremely unnerved, Virgil quickly looked away. <em>Oh God, he’s a rapist. He’s going to come after me when I get off the bus. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. I can run, I can figure this out.</em> But the panic was quickly setting in. There was nowhere he could run to currently, and the next stop was his. If that man were to follow him… <em>If he gets anywhere near me, I can stab him with my knives! Self-defense!</em></p><p>“Hey, are you okay?” a quiet voice came from above him and Virgil looked up, letting out a yelp. The man was standing in front of him, his eyebrows furrowed. He was holding onto the strap that hung on the ceiling. “You seem really anxious. I know some breathing exercises that you could probably use.” The two stared at each other for a few long moments. <em>What do I say?</em> Would a rapist do this? <em>Absolutely! He’s trying to get close to me!</em> But… there was a gut feeling that told Virgil that he was okay. The man wasn’t going to hurt him. Nodding to the open seat beside him, Virgil squished up as small as possible against the window. The man sat down carefully and held out his hand. “I’m Roman- and you?”</p><p><em>Give a false name. </em>“Virgil.” <em>Shit, that’s my real name!</em> He usually came up with a new false name every time he went out, but he’d been too busy this morning to think of one. He stared at the hand before shaking his head slightly. “Anthropophobia,” he mumbled.</p><p>To his surprise, Roman’s eyes lit up in shock. Roman let his hand fall to the seat cushion. “Wait, are you Virgil <em>Sanders</em>? As in, the sole survivor of the Gallery Case?” <em>How does he know about that?</em> Narrowing his eyes, Virgil frowned. “Yeah, so? What are you, some kind of reporter? I would have thought I’d turned them all away by now- for the last time, I’m not doing any interviews.” There had been an incredible amount of people coming to his door for the past month, and Virgil was tired of it. Roman shook his head. “No, I’m not a reporter. I’m <em>Roman</em> Sanders- survivor of the Angelica Case. The police said you would be coming to the meeting too- at least, that’s what you told them- but I wasn’t expecting to meet you on the bus.”</p><p><em>Oh… right.</em> So, <em>this</em> was who the police meant when they’d said, “someone will be there with you”. <em>Roman Sanders</em>. Virgil hadn’t actually known about the Angelica Case until he’d called the police about his note, and they’d informed him that another person had received the very same one, with a sentence tweaked. Seriously, though? <em>This</em> was the guy he was working with to save Dante? <em>Dante’s gonna end up killed…</em> “How else was I supposed to get there?” he hissed back. “Listen, I don’t care about why you’re coming to this stupid meeting. I’m only coming to keep a promise, and if you get in the way of that, I won’t hesitate to kill you. I don’t care what the police want, but they can’t expect me to work with anyone, especially an idiot like you.” To be honest, Virgil didn’t have anything against Roman yet. But lashing out at people he felt drawn to was a habit of his. <em>He can’t be trusted.</em></p><p>Flinching at his sharp words, Roman leaned back a little bit. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you. If you don’t want to talk about what’s happening, we don’t have to. I just thought it would be good to get each other up to speed. But, um, I’ll just shut up now.” He went completely quiet, staring at the floor. <em>Wow, that was… weird. He didn’t even get angry…</em> Usually, when Virgil threw insults at people, they threw them right back. But Roman had simply rolled over like a puppy in submission. <em>Great, he’s a doormat.</em></p><p>The bus finally arrived at their stop, and both of them got off. Virgil pulled up Google Maps on his phone and led the way down the streets of where he’d grown up. It was strange to be back here after such a long time. <em>I wonder who’s living in our old house.</em> He felt a twinge in his heart as he realized that he still considered the house he used to live in “ours”. <em>If only Dad could see me now… I wonder what he would say.</em> A disturbing image of the house popped into his head. <em>No… nobody’s living there. There’s no way the realtors could have cleaned the blood away.</em></p><p>Eventually, they reached Silverbridge Rd. The given address on the note was to a new-looking building- tall, with three stories. It looked dismal, as even the clouds down in Florida were dark gray and casting shadows. It looked like a hospital of some kind, but since Virgil hadn’t seen one in at least a decade, he wouldn’t be the one to know. Roman looked tense, and his hands were clenched in fists. <em>Is he worried about what’s inside waiting for us, or is he afraid of hospitals?</em> It didn’t matter; they needed to go inside. Virgil marched up to the door and pulled it open, stepping into the building with Roman just behind him.</p><p>The inside was exceptionally clean. They were in the front lobby, with couches and comfy chairs scattered out and about. There was a front counter, but nobody was standing behind it. There were three other people in the room; two were playing a game of chess, while the third was sitting on a couch using his phone. He was wearing blue jeans and a black T-shirt, along with a blue-striped tie. Glancing up, he adjusted his silver wire glasses. “Ah, you’ve finally arrived. It seems that my theory was correct. I’ve been waiting for nine hours- it was about time you showed.”</p><p>His eyes widening, Virgil pulled out his knives from his boots and leapt across the room. He put a knife to this new man’s throat. “Let me guess, you’re the guy who’s planned this whole thing! Spill it! Where’s Dante? And where’s your friend, that heartless killer?” His teeth were bared and adrenaline was pumping through him. He was ready to fight. The man didn’t even bat an eye. “No, I’m Dr. Logan Sanders, not J. S. Unfortunately, I am just as clueless as you to as where ‘Dante’ and the murderer are. Considering the killer was the one who forced me to pay for a new pair of glasses, I doubt you have any reason to believe I would be working with him.”</p><p><em>Something’s off about this guy…</em> Why wasn’t ‘Logan’ afraid of Virgil- was Logan even his real name? No, he was probably lying. Of course, Roman came over and pulled Virgil away from Logan. “Hey, leave him alone! I apologize, uh, Dr. Sanders?” With a hiss, Virgil wrenched his arms away from Roman and glared at him. Logan adjusted his glasses, unfazed. “It’s quite alright- please, call me Logan. I’m only Dr. Sanders at work. So, I assume you two are Roman Sanders and Virgil Sanders from the Angelica Case and the Gallery Case respectively? I was one of the many survivors from the Saint Francis Case, which occurred three months ago in San Francisco. If my theory really is correct, then someone else should-”</p><p>The front doors suddenly shot open and a frazzled-looking young man burst through them, panting heavily and sweating profusely. It looked as if he had just run a marathon. He was wearing beige shorts, a baby blue T-shirt, and a gray cardigan around his shoulders. His short hair was a light sun-touched brown, and his freckled face was hidden behind large round glasses. For a long minute, he simply crouched with his hands on his knees, taking in deep breaths. Then he stood up straight and looked at them. “Oh! Hi! I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here! Have any of you seen two teenagers around? Or a guy with a yellow eye?”</p><p>“A yellow eye?” Logan asked. “Not recently, but I do suspect that we are both thinking of the same man. He is a neurosurgeon, correct?”</p><p>Sticking his knives back into his boots, Virgil let out a deep growl. “Can everyone just shut up? I don’t care who the <em>fuck</em> set all this up, I want to get what I came for and then get the <em>fuck</em> out of here. We should <em>all</em> leave. We’re all gonna end up dead if we stick around for much longer, and I’d rather not end up like everyone who was murdered at the gallery.”</p><p>“Hello, my dear little boys,” a deep voice suddenly spoke from the loudspeaker above them.</p><p>The young guy who’d just come in let out a little scream of surprise. He’d already been shaking before, but now it had worsened. Roman and Virgil had simply flinched, while Virgil would’ve thought Logan hadn’t even heard the speaker if he hadn’t looked up at the ceiling. The voice continued speaking in a soothing manner. <em>Something about that voice is familiar…</em> “Please, all patients return to their rooms until I make another announcement saying you can come out. Remember, the Netflix password is snekboi20, spelled with an ‘i’. I will <em>not</em> be replying to any texts about what it is again, so you better remember it.”</p><p>The two chess players stood up and left the room, one of them waving as they went. After a few minutes of the group of four waiting in silence, the voice came back on. “It is finally time for the experiment to begin. I will tell you everything you need to know now, nothing more and nothing less. You four are part of my two-decade long experiment that will help further science in the field of helping people with mental disorders. ADHD, Autism, Anxiety, self-harm- these are all things that many people suffer from. Through the tests I have put you through in your lifetimes and the ultimate test that you will now have to face, you will have helped me perfect an invention I like to call the Mind Palace- more technically, the Reality Embellishing Mind Instrument, or REMI- which will help all those people. The Mind Palace connects to the brain of the patient and creates a scenario in which they face and overcome their fears and/or disorders. They obviously cannot do this alone, so they are accompanied by other patients who can support them in this endeavor. I have spent the past twenty years creating this machine, but the hardest aspect is figuring out how to create the perfect scenario for each patient. I believe I know exactly how to do this, but I need to test my theory out. That is where you four come in. All four of you suffer from extreme trauma. If you succeed in growing past your issues, then I know anyone else can. You will visit four Mind Palace stations scattered throughout this mental hospital, one for each of you. Then you will hook yourselves up to the machines and go through your scenarios. Aid each other, support one another- if you die in the dream, I will make sure you die in reality. There is a map on the front desk. I suggest talking about your experiences to better achieve success. I wish you good luck.”</p><p>The speaker cut out, leaving silence to heighten the uncomfortable air between them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The new team head out to find the first station and run into a familiar face.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <strong>Virgil:</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>None of them said a single word for a minute or two. Finally, Logan cleared his throat. “Well, I suppose we should begin by introducing ourselves and stating what trauma we may be suffering from. It will be comparable to a group therapy session. I am Dr. Logan Sanders, a neurosurgeon from San Francisco, and when I was four, I went through a surgery that removed the Limbic System in my brain because I was suffering from a tumor in that region. Ever since, I have not been able to feel any emotions or fear. This caused bullying in my childhood and unfair treatment of me by adults who simply labeled me as naughty and cruel.” He looked over at the new guy expectantly.</p><p>Looking at him a bit more closely, Virgil realized the two of them were probably the same age. The young man didn’t say anything for a moment and then startled. “Oh, am I next? Sorry! I’m Patton Sanders. I- I don’t really have anything wrong with me, I just get a little scared when I’m alone. Monsters in the dark, y’know? Um, I only came here because the killer took two teenagers- my cousin, Thomas, and his best friend, Joan Stokes.” With that, he went quiet and stared at the ground. Nobody said anything. Logan eventually sighed. “Alright, if you don’t want to share what your trauma is, then you don’t have to. Now, which one of you is Virgil?” Virgil bared his teeth at him, and he raised an eyebrow. “Alright, it’s you then. Virgil, I know you suffer from Anthropophobia- it was in the report on the case in the news. Although we must accompany each other through this mental hospital, if you ever need time to yourself, just ask for it and we move on ahead to the next station to wait for you.”</p><p>Calming down a little, Virgil let his angry face drop. <em>I… guess he isn’t too bad.</em> At least he had the decency to consider Virgil’s Anthropophobia. Giving a small nod, he looked at Roman. “So, Roman, got anything you’re scared of? Let me guess, bad fashion?” He grinned cruelly, and Roman gave him a glare. “I’m not scared of anything. I just <em>disapprove</em> of bad fashion. How do you even know that’s something I care about?”</p><p>Looking him up and down, Virgil shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe the fact that you’re wearing white pants and knee-high boots? Not a look I see all that much. Of course, I don’t get out that much, so my perspective might be skewed. Either way, you need to get a whole new look. You look like a fancy cowboy, and I think that look went out of season, eh, centuries ago.” Of course, Virgil was just saying all this to get Roman to hate him. <em>If he hates me, he won’t try to get close to me, and I can defend myself if he gets </em>really<em> mad.</em> Logan pushed his glasses up his nose with his ring finger. “Can we focus?”</p><p>They all murmured their agreement, but Virgil knew that this group was not going to be a well-functioning one. Logan was apparently emotionless, Patton was extremely quiet, and Roman seemed to be a blank slate. <em>I’ll ditch them the first time I get the chance.</em></p><p>“Alright,” Logan made his way over to the front counter. “First, we’ll need the map. Second, we should look around for any signs of who the person who set this all up is. Third, we need to decide which station to go to first.” He went around to the other side of the island and opened a few drawers, sifting through them until he pulled out a sheet of paper. Then he laid it out on the table, “It would be helpful if you all came over here to look at it.” Patton zipped over on light feet, while Virgil and Roman shuffled slowly to them. Looking down at the map, Virgil felt his stomach drop. <em>Seriously? This place is huge!</em></p><p>Out of all three floors of the building, all of them were going to be used for the test. Logan’s was on the first floor, Patton’s and Roman’s on the second, and Virgil’s- thank <em>goodness</em>- on the third. <em>I’ll definitely be able to ditch them and find Dante before then.</em> If this ‘Mind Palace’ really did work, then Virgil didn’t want to be a part of it. <em>I’m not going to let three strangers see my darkest secrets! Nobody should!</em> It was too personal. Virgil’s whole life for the past 8 years had been <em>preventing</em> anyone from seeing into who he was, and he wasn’t going to throw that away now.</p><p>Patton frowned at the map, “What station should we go to first?”</p><p>“Yours or Logan’s,” Roman stated easily. “You’re both closer than mine and Virgil’s. Which one of you feels more comfortable to go first?” He seemed slightly sympathetic. “I know it will be hard to share what trauma has been affecting you, but I get the feeling we don’t really have any other options.”</p><p>The two men with glasses glanced at each other for a long moment. Logan then shrugged, “If Patton doesn’t want to do his first, I’m fine with completing my station. I doubt mine will be very upsetting, considering I don’t have emotions. Not only that, but it will be a safer way to see what these tests will be like. If something happens to me, at least you three will be fine. Are there any objections, or are we ready to leave now?” When there was no response, he nodded. “Alright, then, let’s go. I get the feeling that nobody wants to stay here longer than needed.”</p><p>So, the team of four began to make their way through the building’s first floor. All the hallways were empty, with doors closed and the walls painted a relaxing beige. After a few minutes, Logan commented, “Hmm… it feels like the hospital, when we were attacked.” Roman murmured in agreement. <em>I though the Angelica Case was in a theatre… guess the place was pretty empty too.</em></p><p>After a few minutes of walking, they came across an open door. Standing in the doorway was an older lady with long, gray hair wearing a floral dress. She was facing into the room and talking to somebody. “I tell you, Miriam, I saw her again! I knew she would come back, that bitch can’t do anything by herself. She needs me! Felt good to be right, though, even if she pretends she never left. How’s ol’ Timmy been?”</p><p>“Aw, you know,” another woman’s voice came from inside the room. “Silent as usual.” The four young men began to pass by, and Virgil looked into the room to see another older woman, although she had pale ginger hair. <em>You should talk to her,</em> a voice urged him. <em>I think she might be like Dante.</em> Stopping in his tracks, Virgil cleared his throat. “Uh- hey. Who’re you talking about?” Roman and Patton had already made it a few feet ahead of him but turned around when they realized he was following. Surprisingly, Logan had stayed with Virgil too. He adjusted his glasses, “Yes, I would like to know too. Also, aren’t you supposed to be in your rooms until the test is over? At least, I’m guessing that’s when J. S. will tell you that you may return to your daily activities.”</p><p>The gray-haired woman looked over her shoulder at them. “Oh, just Felicia. You wouldn’t know ‘er- only I can see her! Miriam here’s got Timmy. Felicia thought she could just up and leave- she was getting tired of how I fold my clothes. But, of course, she’s not real, so she can’t <em>actually</em> leave. But she’d never admit that! And I don’t care what that guy says.”</p><p>Virgil’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. Hesitantly, he mumbled, “So, you have schizophrenia?” <em>See? I was right.</em> The woman put her hands on her hips. “Obviously, dear. One day I’ll get rid of her, but until then I’m stuck in here! Is there a reason why you’re asking?”</p><p>“I-” he looked at the floor. “I have a friend that also has it. I don’t know how to help him. He just lost the only family he had left, but I’m not really… the best at helping other people. Is there anything you can tell me that you know might make him feel better? I don’t know if his voices will get worse, or if there even is some way to help him.”</p><p>She thought for a moment before giving him a small smile, “Just be there for him.”</p><p>“Guys?” Patton asked nervously. “Can we please go? I don’t want to interrupt, but we really should be going. We don’t know if there’s a penalty for taking too long.” He looked down at the ground guiltily. Logan’s eyes flitted to the woman and then back at Patton. “You’re right, we should be going.” He looked at the woman, “Thank you for answering our questions.”</p><p>So, the four of them moved on. They all remained silent as they quickly made their way through the first floor. Logan pulled out the map, “We should be almost there. I think it’s in an office.” Virgil looked up ahead to see if he could spot it and then halted. “Who’s that?” Up ahead, standing in the middle of the hallway, was a tall man in black with a green scarf tied around his neck. He had ginger hair like Roman, with his bangs dyed gray, and a small mustache like ones you’d see in movies. In his hand was a silver mace. The other three stopped and stared at him. Roman’s fist clenched, trembling slightly. <em>Wait… is that…?</em></p><p>“Hello,” Logan folded up the map and put it back in his pocket. “I was expecting to meet you at some point. So, <em>Remus Sanders</em>, now I would like to ask you why you’ve killed so many innocent people. What was the purpose? What is this all <em>really </em>about?”</p><p>The man- Remus- grinned and shrugged. “I don’t know! Well, I do, but the reason for it all is not why I’m doing this. Wait, didn’t J tell you? Hmm, I could’ve sworn I heard him telling you all about our plan over the speakers! Oh well, let me give you a recap. All of this- every bit of it!- has a purpose. Everything that has ever happened to you was because of this plan. J wants to help other people, yadda yadda, but <em>I’m</em> just here for the fun of seeing people scream. I’ll say, you and Roman really put up a fight against me. I can’t say the same for Patton and Virgil, though. Virgil, you ran away from the one person that needed you, and Patton- you-” A flash of anger appeared in his eyes momentarily before hiding away. “You never cared about them enough to actually do anything to stop me.”</p><p><em>I </em>did<em> run away. I let Dante get kidnapped by this madman!</em> A growl stirring in his throat, Virgil whipped out his knives and was about to throw himself at Remus when Roman grabbed his arms and held him back. “Hey!” he grunted as Virgil tried to tear himself away, hissing. “Calm down! If you try to kill him, you’ll just be as bad as him. Please, you don’t want that. You don’t want to have blood on your hands. Would the person you ran away from want you to kill him?” <em>No…</em> Virgil slowly gave up, the fight dying inside him. <em>Dante wouldn’t want me to do that.</em> His muscles relaxed and he slipped his knives back into his boots, Roman sighing in relief.</p><p>Remus giggled a little, “Ooh, aren’t you feisty now! Too bad you hadn’t been so ready to protect your little friend when he needed you the most.” Clicking his tongue disapprovingly, he looked over at Patton. “Well? Are you going to try and attack me? Obviously, I’d kill you, but I haven’t had any <em>real</em> good fun in <em>so long</em>! Of course, you would never do that. You claim to be there for anyone, but that’s only if they aren’t-”</p><p>“<em>Shut up</em>!” Patton suddenly yelled. There were tears brimming in his eyes. He didn’t say anything else for a few moments. “You have no right to talk to me like that. Not after you killed Talyn. Not after you killed <em>everyone</em>! Where are Thomas and Joan? <em>Where are they</em>!?” His whole body was trembling, tears dripping down his face. “If- if you’ve hurt them I-I’ll- I’ll-!”</p><p>“What?” Remus grinned. <em>I hate that grin.</em> “What are you going to do? What is little Patton Sanders going to do? Nothing! Because that’s all you’ve ever done. You couldn’t save <em>anyone</em> in the woods. I wish I had been there to see your reaction when you went back to the bus! I bet you cried a <em>lot</em>. That’s why you didn’t even cry over Talyn! You must’ve been out of tears. No wait- that’s because you hated them for who they were. Y’know, as much as you claim to be different from your father, you seem to pretend you love people <em>just like him</em>! You’re a terrible person, Patton- in fact, <em>all of you</em> are! Well, except for Logan. How ironic is it that the person without emotions is the kindest?”</p><p>Virgil didn’t know what to make of all this. What had Patton done that was so terrible? And what about Roman? His curiosity was beginning to grow. <em>What happened to them? What is their trauma that J. S. wants them to work through? And why hasn’t Remus killed us by now?</em> Yes, he was working with J. S. so he must know about the big picture, but he seemed like he enjoyed murdering people very much. Logan was the one who responded to him. “I’m afraid you would be wrong about that. As I’ve already told them, since I have no empathy or emotions of my own, I often make cruel and cold remarks. So, you might need to rephrase that.”</p><p>“No,” the killer shook his head. “I know what I’m talking about. Anyways, I’ll give you one word of advice before I leave you to your tests! Instead of being untrustworthy and not sharing any of your problems, you might actually want to work together. I mean, unless you’d rather die.” He then gasped quietly and pointed to Roman. “Oh, wait! You <em>do</em> want to die! I forgot about that. I mean, I wasn’t there when you tried to- you know- but J told me <em>all</em> about the police report! That guy doesn’t know when to stop talking. Anyways, toodles!” And with that, he darted back down the hallway and disappeared, leaving the four of them standing there in an awkward silence. <em>This team is doomed.</em> This was exactly why Virgil wanted to ditch them- they were all obviously broken in their own ways. <em>I’ll stick with them until we finish Logan’s test. I need to know what I’m going up against. But no </em>way<em> am I doing my test with them!</em></p><p>Logan looked over the three of them. “I apologize, that must’ve been a harrowing experience for all of you. Unfortunately, we will not achieve anything by staying here. There are many things we need to do, and I get the feeling we’re all here for something more than these tests.” He raised an eyebrow at them. <em>Jesus, this guy really </em>is<em> insensitive. Can’t really blame him, though. At least he’s doing something useful.</em> Virgil nodded, although he still felt slightly shaken. The killer- Remus- had known exactly what to say that would completely destroy him. The fight in him had evaporated, leaving his usual frightened self. <em>What if I can’t get Dante back?</em></p><p>Roman finally spoke up, “Yeah, let’s go.” He looked extremely uncomfortable and didn’t meet Logan’s eyes. <em>What’s up with him?</em> He began marching down the hallway, the same direction that Remus had gone, and they all quickly began following. It only took a couple minutes for Logan to screech to a halt and point to a door they’d just passed by. Roman opened it, and they all stepped inside carefully.</p><p>Inside was a normal office. Four chairs were lined up against the wall, a helmet device hooked onto the back. Wires connected them to an extremely large computer on the desk in the corner. <em>This is it? The Mind Palace?</em> Logan rushed over to the computer, examining it closely even though it was in its case and unable to be seen. “Incredible,” he murmured- Virgil could see the gears turning in his head. Patton immediately sat down and sighed, “Let’s get this over with.” Roman hummed his agreement and took the seat beside him. <em>I guess we’re doing this right now, then.</em> Virgil collapsed into the chair on the other end, leaving the seat between him and Roman open to Logan, who gave the computer a last longing glance before sitting down.</p><p>Unsure what to do, Virgil looked down the line of Sanders’. Patton was trying to pull the helmet down over his head, but it seemed to be stuck. Logan already had his down and the computer had started to whir. Roman shoved Patton’s onto his head and looked over at Virgil. They both locked eyes for a moment before putting on the helmets.</p><p>The moment Virgil felt it press against his skull, the room snapped into darkness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Logan's test...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Logan:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p><em>It’s so dark. Is this really the test? I don’t see how this can help me get through my ‘trauma’. Of course, I can’t really </em>see<em> anything…</em> But before Logan could wonder too much about the endless abyss he’d been transported into, the world around him morphed into something new. His feet back on firm ground, Logan took a moment to process where he was exactly.</p><p>He had been transported into a different office, but in this room there was no color. Tall, metal filing cabinets lined the walls in an orderly fashion, with a single desk and chair in the middle of the room and a door in the corner. Logan was standing next to the chair, looking across the black and white- and slightly granulated-looking- new environment. Of course, he wasn’t alone; Roman, Virgil, and Patton were all there, standing in a circle. Virgil’s hoodie wasn’t purple anymore, Patton’s shirt wasn’t baby blue, and Roman’s red shirt was now a dark gray. All of them seemed calm except for Virgil, who first whipped his head around and then stared in horror at his now-dull hoodie. <em>I wonder why there’s no color anywhere…</em></p><p>Not only did the world look like an old movie now, but everything seemed… too perfect. The air felt cold and the floor was made of tile. Every piece of furniture was lined up flawlessly, the measurements between them on point. <em>This doesn’t feel real. Humans are messy- they would never be able to make a room look this clean. Why doesn’t this feel real?</em> There was something in the back of his mind that told him that he knew the answer to that, but he couldn’t quite remember it. <em>How did we get here? Weren’t we just in the mental hospital?</em></p><p>Patton suddenly gasped and stepped over to him. “Oh my goodness, Logan! What happened to your hands?” His eyes were wide, and he touched Logan’s wrists. Logan looked down and blinked in confusion. Both of his hands were completely gone, his wrists round knubs. <em>I don’t remember not having hands.</em> This was all so strange. <em>This is all wrong. We need to get back to the mental hospital. If we don’t, I’ll miss my chance to get my brain transplant. But… how can I work without my hands? I’m a neurosurgeon, no replacement would work.</em> Well, it didn’t matter. Logan would rather… rather what? What work could he do without hands? <em>I could get prosthetics, but would it ever be the same?</em></p><p>“Hey,” Patton waved a hand in front of his face. “I lost you! Obviously, you don’t know. Do you guys remember how we even got here? All I can remember is that I was in something like a void for a couple minutes.” The other two shook their heads. Virgil went over to the closest filing cabinet and grumbled, “There might be something in these things. Start looking.”</p><p>They each began to look in a separate filing cabinet. Logan pulled open one of the metal drawers of his and looked inside. It was packed full of files, and surprisingly, he instantly knew what they all contained. <em>This file is about when I graduated college. This one is on the first time I experienced a death at work. These are all my memories.</em> Well, if all the cabinets contained files like this- if this was the area of his brain where memories were kept- then if they went outside this room, they would certainly find a whole building. Although he sometimes forgot the easiest things, he usually had photographic memory due to the computer chip in his head. <em>But why are we here? </em>How<em> are we here? No technology has been developed to my knowledge that lets someone delve into their own mind like this.</em></p><p>“Hey,” Patton approached him, holding a file. “Are these… your memories?” He was having a hard time making eye contact- of course, Logan always did, so that wasn’t a problem. “I… I read this one. I didn’t realize just how badly you were treated when you told us earlier. To go through all of that… that must have been terrible.”</p><p>“It’s perfectly fine,” Logan shrugged. “As I have said, I do not have emotions. Because of this, it didn’t have any effect on me. I know I was ‘treated unfairly’ theoretically now, but in the current moment I was always just confused. Also note that just because I couldn’t understand if I was doing anything wrong doesn’t mean I was in the right. For example, just because I didn’t understand why stealing was wrong when I was younger doesn’t make me stealing candy okay.”</p><p>Giving him a strange look, Patton hesitated and then said, “Yeah, but all you need is for someone to explain something to you. You wouldn’t have stolen candy because you wanted to <em>steal</em>; you just didn’t see any reason why it wasn’t allowed. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Logan. You don’t deserve that. I’m guessing that this is one of the tests J. S. was talking about earlier, even if we don’t know how we got here. This is <em>your</em> test, which means it’s time for you to work through some things. I may not know what they are, but just know that I’m here to help, okay?”</p><p>“Thank you.” <em>Nobody’s ever said anything like that… Why is he different?</em> Glancing over at Roman and Virgil, Logan shut his cabinet file drawer. “I don’t think there’s anything of importance in here. We should probably go outside.”</p><p>Without any objections, Logan led the way to the door. He reached out to open it before realizing he didn’t have the hands to do so. <em>Hmm… this is more inconvenient than I thought it would be.</em> Roman leaned past him and opened it for him, showing the way into the unknown. They all stepped over the threshold and looked around.</p><p>The entire building seemed to be empty. Not a single sound could be heard except for their own breathing. They were now standing in a long hallway that stretched either way into infinity, more hallways crossing over it with equal spacing between them. <em>It’s almost like a city…</em> Even more filing cabinets lined the walls, with doors sprinkled here and there. It was colder out here, and Logan let out a chilled breath. <em>Why is it so cold in here?</em> All in all, the hallways looked almost exactly like the room they’d appeared in did. <em>It reminds me of the hospital, or a school. I wish I knew where we were- I don’t even know where the exit is.</em></p><p>Virgil growled a little, “This is stupid. We should just leave; we’re never going to find whatever is here that Logan needs. This place could go on for miles. What <em>are</em> we even supposed to do? J. S. never told us, and there weren’t any instructions in that office.”</p><p>“Hey,” Patton’s eyes flickered to Logan. “It’s Logan’s test, we should do what he wants.”</p><p><em>Strange… he’s asking for my opinion.</em> It took him a moment to respond. “We should look around a little before trying to find the exit. We don’t want to have come here for no reason, do we? I doubt J. S. would send us here just for us to leave. There must be something we’re missing.” Approaching one of the filing cabinets, he said over his shoulder, “Just start looking. If you find anything worth reporting, come to me immediately.” He then opened the drawer and began looking for any out of place files, the conversation evidently over.</p><p>Logan didn’t know how much time passed. There was no way to tell; there were no windows letting sunlight in, and Logan had left his watch at home. He <em>did</em> know that he’d searched 27 filing cabinets top to bottom before he found anything interesting. Virgil and Roman had stopped some time before, sitting on the floor, while Patton kept his slow pace up. Logan had found a gray file amongst the beige ones, and he pulled it out. It felt extremely light, and it slightly transparent. <em>What could this possibly be?</em> It had been hard to open the drawers and look through the files- how could he open this file? Using his nose, Logan managed to tip it open. Without a moment to take a breath, golden-white light shone forth onto his face and the world changed.</p><p>The cold, still hallway morphed into a living room. Furniture appeared, and dim colors seeped into the environment like paint dripping down a canvas. The beige walls, the brown carpet, the green couch… <em>this is where I grew up.</em> It was the house that Logan had lived in until he had moved to San Francisco for the job opportunity he’d received from the hospital he worked at today. But… some things were off. Where was the glass coffee table? The one they’d gotten two months after Logan’s surgery. <em>It’s missing… this must have been before then.</em></p><p>Laying on the couch was a younger, much smaller Logan. He was holding his stuffed animal unicorn, Blue, over his head. <em>I wonder where Blue is now. I couldn’t find him when I was leaving for San Francisco.</em></p><p>“Where are we?” Roman asked. Logan turned his head to look behind him. The other three were all standing there, watching the scene unfold. Patton’s eyes were wide, and he whispered, “That’s the most adorable stuffed animal I’ve ever seen. Is that you, Logan?” Nodding, Logan frowned just a bit as he returned to watching his younger self. “This was before my surgery took place, so it appears I still have emotions. I’ve been told that I used to play with Blue- the unicorn- in all my spare time before the surgery happened. I only have one or two memories and basic information from before that, as only some things were transferred into the computer chip.”</p><p>They all went silent. The younger Logan suddenly leapt off the couch and raised a hand towards the ceiling. “Blue, we gotta save Snuffles!” Then he wattled to the hallway and disappeared down it, dragging the unicorn on the floor behind him. Virgil mumbled, “Why are we here again? I don’t think a memory like this is that important.”</p><p>With that, they popped back into the hallway in the exact spots they’d been in before. Nothing had changed. Carefully, Logan tried to put the file back where he’d taken it from, but without his hands he accidentally dropped it onto the floor. <em>I guess I’ll just have to leave it.</em> He shut the drawer with his shoulder and began to walk down the hallway. <em>I don’t think there’s anything here- we would’ve found it by now. It would take days, maybe weeks to search through the place. We don’t have a choice but to leave, if we can find the way out.</em> He could hear the <em>tip-tap</em> of shoes against tile floor, and he knew the others were right behind him. <em>I wish I could understand what this is all about. Maybe when J. S. fixes me I’ll realize what’s going on. But why is everyone else here? Patton said he’s searching for two teenagers, and Virgil asked where someone was when he attacked me… but what about Roman?</em></p><p>The hospital seemed to stretch on endlessly. Their breathing and footsteps were the only sounds. The chilly air was giving Logan goosebumps. <em>I should’ve brought a jacket.</em> Patton had put his cardigan on earlier, while Virgil already had his own jacket and Roman was wearing a long-sleeved shirt. <em>Oh well, it doesn’t really matter. I just wish I knew what this place was, and how we even got here. Or that we could even find the exit…</em></p><p>A long time passed of walking in silence before they finally found the front lobby. There was a marble white counter on one side of the hall while the front double doors were on the other. There were large windows on either side of the doors, showing the outside. Logan jogged over to them and looked out in wonder.</p><p>There were fields of the deepest green you could imagine. Rolling hills, pale blue skies with fluffy white clouds, tall trees with rainbow-colored leaves that shimmered in the bright, glowing sunlight. Children were running and playing with each other, their clothes of all different colors. Logan stared out at them, unable to look away. It was so starkly different from inside- and it looked like a much better place to be. Warm, happy, <em>colorful</em>- meanwhile, he and the others were in black and white amidst the cold halls of his bland memories. <em>If only we could get out there.</em></p><p>“Hey, guys,” Virgil was standing in front of the doors. “Look at this sign.” He pointed to a white billboard just above the handles. It read, <em>Open the doors yourself to leave.</em> “Kinda weird, isn’t it? Should be easy.” He grabbed the knobs and tried to pull them open. It took a moment, but finally they slowly bent to Virgil’s will and opened. A warm breeze floated in and the edges of Virgil facing the outside regained color. He raised an eyebrow at them. “Well, you guys coming or not? I know I don’t want to stay here.”</p><p>They all nodded and went over. Roman ducked under Virgil’s right arm- which was holding open the right door- but was knocked backwards by something and tumbled into Virgil. The two collapsed onto the floor and Virgil hissed loudly, scrambling away from Roman. The doors once again shut, and Logan pointed to the sign. “I believe the only way through is if we each go through individually. It says, ‘open the doors <em>yourself</em> to leave’.” Reaching forward, Logan went to open the door, but the stub of his wrist hit the knob instead of his missing hand. For a moment, everyone remained silent. Patton then spoke quietly, “If that’s true, how are you going to get out? You don’t have hands.”</p><p><em>This will be a challenge.</em> It was obvious that this was some sort of puzzle- all Logan needed to do was solve it. Either that or find a different way of opening it. Carefully, he put the sides of arms against the knob and tried to twist it to no avail. He leaned down a bit to use his teeth, but they simply scraped against the metal without turning it. The other three watched him silently. <em>Hmm… trying to use the doorknob isn’t working. Could I force the door down?</em> Backing up to the counter, Logan took a running start at the door and stuck his leg out straight to bring the door down. <em>Crash!</em> He slammed into the door without budging it, falling to the ground and rubbing his throbbing hip that had taken the force of hitting the door. <em>This isn’t working.</em></p><p>What was he supposed to do? It seemed impossible. <em>If only I had my hands… this would be so much easier.</em> If force wouldn’t open the door, then this was a puzzle. But what could possibly be the answer to a problem that Logan didn’t know about? No, the puzzle was already there- <em>open the doors yourself to leave.</em> Somehow, Logan had to do it himself. <em>But how?</em></p><p>He sat down on the floor against the front of the counter, trying to think of a solution. Patton came over after a few moments and sat down next to him. “Hey, you doing okay? How are you feeling?” He was looking at Logan in a way that only his parents ever had. <em>He cares about my opinion.</em> That was certainly new. The only other person who had ever cared about what he thought- besides his parents- was Jay. <em>Maybe he won’t mind hearing about my thoughts. </em>“I’m not feeling anything. That’s not how I work. I’m not like you all, or anyone else. I could stay in here forever and never care because I am incapable of caring. Perhaps that would even be for the best- to stay in here. All I seem to do is make people feel ‘unhappy’ because of my cold nature. As that is something I can’t control, it might be best to simply contain it.”</p><p>Patton didn’t respond for a moment. “Wait, you mean you think you should stay in here while we leave? Logan, we would never do that! We can’t just leave you in here to die! That would be terrible of us!” He shifted a bit to fully face Logan. “Logan, don’t ever think that you should hide yourself away because something you say makes other people feel bad. You have a condition that makes you unable to understand human emotions. Other people should understand <em>you</em> and try to help you, like your mom said in that memory at the preschool. Anyone that’s mean to you for something you can’t help is the mean person, not you. Don’t blame yourself for something that’s not your fault.” He gave Logan a big smile. “I know we’ve only known each other for a couple hours, but I can tell you try really hard to be nice. That’s all that matters- that you try.”</p><p><em>He does make a good point… but he doesn’t understand what I really am.</em> “I do appreciate you trying to console me, Patton, but not only do I highly doubt that Virgil would stay here with us, but I also would prefer you not to die on my behalf. It has no purpose. It would just mean lives were wasted. Your cousin and his friend are depending on you; you can’t stay here. It’s for the best, anyways- I’ve been considering taking my own life for some time, and now would be the perfect opportunity. I can’t escape, and I’ll surely die of thirst before I find any supplies. Don’t let it bother you; I haven’t been fully human since I was four, and people seem to find it easy to kill things that aren’t of their own species. Letting me die will be easy.”</p><p>“<em>No</em>!” Patton objected, his face darkening. “Logan, don’t say that. We can figure this out. I’m not leaving without you! I’m not going to abandon you! I know what that feels like, and although you might not have emotions, you’ll still <em>know</em>. You’ll <em>know</em> how most people would feel and you’ll just spiral. J. S. wouldn’t give us an impossible puzzle, I just know that! Why would he give us unsolvable tests? He said that the tests would be impossible if we tried to do it by ourselves. You just have to let us help you!”</p><p><em>That is true…</em> So, there had to be a way past the door. But how? Was working with Patton, Roman, and Virgil really the way? <em>What should we do, though? The signs say you must open the door yourself; doesn’t that mean I can’t have aid? Is it a trick question?</em> Pushing up onto his feet, Logan went back to the doors and stared at the sign. It was hanging from a nail by a string attached to the two top ends of the sign. Lifting the sign off the nail, Logan tossed it aside. It hit the floor with a loud <em>clonk!</em> If the sign wasn’t there anymore, did the rule still apply? <em>What kind of door can’t be opened with help?</em></p><p>The other three got up and came over. Logan reached forward with his stubbed wrist and Patton grabbed it, holding it with his thumb and pinkie finger while using the rest of his hand to grasp the knob. He looked up at the taller Sanders. “Twist your arm so you turn it! It’ll be like your using my hand in place of yours.”</p><p>What was this test supposed to be about? This cold hospital, the memories, what was outside, the door- what did it all mean? It was then that he remembered the way he usually described what it was like to not have emotions. <em>It’s like you’re looking out a window of a locked house, watching everyone else have fun and be happy and knowing you can’t join them.</em> Logan twisted his arm, opening the doors and letting the golden light of the sun blaze down on them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The four head to Patton's test, but decide to take a rest first.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the delay, forgot to post the chapter here on Sunday.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Patton:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>The blinding light enveloped all of them and Patton raised a hand to block it, but found himself blinking awake in the office of the mental hospital. The helmet had lifted off his head and his head felt extremely groggy. A groan came from two seats to his left- <em>Virgil.</em> <em>Wait… that was just a dream. None of that was real! Is forgetting it’s a dream intentional?</em> Patton rubbed his forehead in confusion. <em>None of us died, so I guess Logan passed the test?</em> He looked to his right to see if Logan was alright. Logan was sitting quietly in his chair, his face concentrated in deep thought. While Virgil and Roman got up to stretch a bit, Patton tilted his head a bit. “Hey, how are you doing?” There was something about Logan that he felt drawn to. Maybe it was Logan’s openness, but he was also truly kind. <em>He’s so calm and relaxed- he takes the time to say what needs to be said.</em></p><p>“I’m fine,” Logan looked up, his train of thought halting behind his eyes. “Thank you. Without your encouragement, I would’ve ended up dead. Although that might seem to be the best option now, I know that, hopefully, I won’t feel that way by the end of today. J. S. promised me a way to become fully human again if I came here. But I did learn an important lesson from the test.” Standing up, he extended his hand to Patton. “I don’t need to feel like a burden. If I simply ask for help, things will be easier. I have a condition that limits my understanding of other people, but those same people can help me <em>try</em> to understand.”</p><p>For a moment, Patton didn’t move or say anything. <em>I… I helped him! He thanked me for it!</em> Nobody had done <em>that</em> before. Whenever Patton offered help or advise, everyone always turned it down or told him they didn’t need it. He didn’t know why they did it, and he was beginning to think there was something wrong with him. But Logan… “Y-You’re welcome! I’m here to help in any way I can!” He grasped Logan’s hand and was pulled onto his feet. But as the blood rushed to his head, so did the dread and guilt. Logan’s hand felt like it was burning into his own, a warning. <em>What am I doing? I’m acting like- I’m-</em></p><p>Virgil let out a groan, “Can we go now? Patton’s is the nearest one, if we go now, we can probably finish that up before-” he pulled out his phone to look at the time. “-ten-thirty.”</p><p>“Hey,” Roman spoke up for the first time in quite a while, actually. “Maybe we shouldn’t rush through this so fast. To be honest, that hospital was kinda weird and I’d like to just sit down for a minute. And Logan, you just went through your test and probably wanna think about it a little more. Patton, how ready are you feeling for your test?”</p><p><em>My test?</em> The rumbling dread was starting to transform into anxiousness. “I-I-” <em>What is my test going to be like? What will they see? What if… Dad is there?</em> Anything could happen in a dream, and the last person Patton wanted to see was his father, real or not. Roman seemed to pick up on his worries and he raised an eyebrow at Virgil. “We can leave in five to ten minutes. Today is stressful enough without having the feeling that we’re running out of time.”</p><p>His mouth ajar in frustration, Virgil clutched his hands into fists and took a deep breath. “<em>Fine</em>. But we’re not leaving any later than in ten minutes. Some of us are actually here to do something useful.” After giving Roman a glare, he sat back down in his chair with huff. <em>I need to get out of here.</em> Patton didn’t want them to think he was afraid- he was <em>there</em> for them! <em>What if they leave me because I’m too worrisome?</em> The thought of being alone was scary, but annoying his three new friends was even scarier. “I’m- I’m gonna try to find a bathroom,” he blurted out. “I’ll be right back.” With that, he ducked out of the office and started jogging down the hallway.</p><p>Luckily, the bathrooms were almost directly next to the office. Patton slipped into the mens’ room and stood in front of the sink counter, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He looked the same as always, but the thoughts in his head were different. <em>I have to stop thinking about Logan! He’s just another guy, nothing’s special about him! And he definitely can’t be special to me! The Lord has stated what is right and wrong, and thinking like that is wrong.</em> He closed his eyes and then pulled a small object out of his back pocket. It was a pocketknife; he’d brought it for the worst-case scenario, if Thomas and Joan needed defending. <em>Logan is nothing more to me than a new friend, and he can never be anything more.</em> His hand shaking, Patton lifted the blade and prepared himself for the next few moments. He didn’t know how painful this was going to be, but he had to do it. It would serve as a reminder to <em>just be friends with Logan</em>.</p><p>Before he could do anything, though, the bathroom door opened and Roman came in. Roman’s eyes widened upon stumbling across the scene and he leapt forward, ripping the knife from Patton’s hand and throwing it across the room. “Patton, what the fuck do you think you’re doing!? Why would you think of cutting yourself? Tell me!” He seemed terrified- <em>why is he terrified?</em> The shame of being caught washed over Patton and he couldn’t speak. He just shook his head, feeling tears brimming in his eyes. Roman’s demeanor softened and he put a hand on Patton’s arm. “Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. I-I’m sorry. Just… <em>please</em> don’t ever cut yourself. Please, can you promise me that?”</p><p><em>Can I?</em> Yes, Patton could. It was almost a relief to have been stopped. Would he even have actually gone through with it? <em>I guess I’ll never know.</em> He gave a small nod and Roman sighed with relief. “Whatever is bothering you will probably be solved in your test, so just hold out until then, alright? We’re all in this together- we’re all here to help you. You should go back to the office- I’ll be just a bit.”</p><p><em>Okay. Okay, I can do that.</em> Patton quickly rushed out from the bathroom and leaned against the hallway wall for a moment, leaving Roman behind. <em>Oh goodness, what is my test gonna be?</em></p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Roman:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>After waiting a few minutes, Roman made his way to the other side of the bathroom and picked up Patton’s pocketknife. The blade had been chipped from hitting the floor so hard. He turned it over in his hands. The police hadn’t allowed Roman to bring any sharp weapons with him, in case he tried suicide again. His intention wasn’t suicide, though. <em>I almost ducked out of my punishment. What kind of person does that? Death was too good for me! I still deserve punishment!</em> He went back over to the sinks, rolled up his sleeves, and began to cut for the first time in months.</p><p>It felt incredible. Watching the blood drip into the sink, <em>his</em> blood, <em>his </em>punishment- that tingling pain that made him want to grit his teeth together. There were so many things he needed to pay for- the last time he had cut was back at the theatre, and that had been nowhere near enough to make him suffer. <em>Terrence… I’m sorry. I don’t deserve to have a second chance like this.</em> What even was this test? What was J. S. really planning? Was it as innocent as it sounded? <em>He threatened to kill us if we didn’t move past our issues.</em> Not only was this entire situation insane, but there was an extremely cute looking man among the other three. <em>Virgil’s hissed at me several times; I doubt he wants to even look at me…</em> And even if Virgil <em>did</em> like him back, Roman couldn’t let it happen. <em>I don’t deserve to have a romantic partner. I</em> murdered<em> the last guy I was interested in.</em> His cuts became deeper. <em>I’m only going to hurt them- not just Virgil.</em></p><p>He had to focus on what he came for. <em>I have to make sure Remus faces justice.</em></p><p>It was obvious that Remus wasn’t going to kill them. The tests would probably end up doing that perfectly fine. Roman and Virgil had both been listening to Patton’s and Logan’s conversation in Logan’s dream. <em>Logan would’ve committed suicide if Patton hadn’t been there for him. What if one of us is separated from the others during our test? We’ll end up dead for good.</em> Maybe that was a blessing. If something so terrible happened to Roman as to make him try suicide again, maybe it was something that would finally finish his punishment off. <em>No… my punishment isn’t over until Remus forgives me.</em></p><p>Finally, Roman washed off the knife, the sink, and his arms. The blood was quick to vanish down the drain. Hopefully, the others hadn’t noticed how long he was gone. After sticking the pocketknife into his pocket, he made his way out of the bathroom and headed back to the office. As he took the steps, he wondered what Patton’s trauma was. <em>What are we going to find? Remus said that Patton hated someone named Talyn and claims to be different from his father. What does Patton’s dad have to do with all of this? Didn’t he say he had Autophobia, too?</em></p><p>Opening the door into the office, Roman found Patton pacing. Logan was watching him from his chair. Virgil was nowhere to be seen. Patton whipped around to face Roman. “Virgil’s gone! Logan didn’t see where he went. What are we supposed to do? We need him to help us with the tests, and he needs to do his own! What if he’s leaving the building? What if J. S. doesn’t follow through on his promises because of this? What will happen to Thomas and Joan?” He dissolved into sobs. <em>Shit! I hate seeing Patton cry!</em> Roman put his hands on Patton’s arms. “Hey, it’s alright! We just have to find that emo nightmare, even if he is difficult. And even if he leaves, I’m sure J. S. will understand that wasn’t our fault. As long as we all complete our own tests, we’ll each get what we came here for.”</p><p>Suddenly, a speaker of their heads emitted a crackling sound. Then the familiar voice of J. S. spoke, “It seems you have misplaced the cat. Virgil’s almost at the cafeteria- you may want to go after him. I personally won’t do anything to you if you continue without him, but you will need his support in the future. Each one of you is essential to at least one other person’s test. Also, congratulations to Logan is in order. To be honest, I thought you might not make it, but you have proved me wrong. With the help of dear Patton, of course. Oh, and Patton- try to be open-minded during your test. Nobody likes prejudice.” With that, the speaker cut out. <em>Prejudice? Try to be open-minded? What is Patton hiding? </em>“What did he mean, Patton?”</p><p>“I- I don’t know what he’s talking about.” Patton stared up at the ceiling, seemingly very disturbed. His haunted look melted away after a moment before he went over to the door. “Come on, you heard him! We need to go before Virgil gets into any trouble.” He glanced over at Logan. “Which way is the cafeteria?”</p><p>Pulling out the map, Logan examined it for a couple moments in silence. Then he said, “Upstairs, directly adjacent to your test, Patton. How strange- I didn’t give him the map, so he couldn’t have known to go that exact way if he just wanted to go on ahead of us. Either it was purely coincidence, or he remembered where all the tests were from when I first found it. Fascinating- I wonder if he has photographic memory?”</p><p>Roman made a break for the door. “Doesn’t matter, Logan. Patton’s right- we need to go after him! He could be in danger!” He swung the door open and was about to start sprinting down the hallway when he remembered that he didn’t know which way was to the stairs. He glanced back at the other two and Logan pointed left. As they started to jog through the mental hospital, Roman began to wonder to himself. <em>Why would Virgil bail on us like that? Was he really just going on ahead to wait for us or is he going to try and do his test by himself? Ugh, what is this to him, some kind of game?</em> Why couldn’t he just work with them? <em>I know, I know… his Anthropophobia. But surely, he has enough reason to work through that in this situation. None of us want to be here doing this, but we’re all here for something… I just hope nobody founds out why </em>I’m<em> here.</em></p><p>“Hey,” Patton spoke up as they reached the stairs. “Why do you guys all have the same last name as me? Is it a coincidence or did J. S. specifically pick out people with the same last name?”</p><p>Logan shook his head. “He did not specifically pick out people with the name already. My theory is that he somehow made it happen. When I turned eighteen, I changed my last name without much thought at all. It was simply something that my mind had decided on without even thinking about it. What about you, Roman?”</p><p>“Oh.” <em>What am I supposed to say!? If I say my brother chose it, they might start to suspect Remus is my brother! They’ll never trust me if they found out. Well, Logan probably knows, but Virgil and Patton don’t seem to realize. </em>“It was just a name I heard and liked. My original last name was extremely weird, and as an actor it would have wrecked my career. I dare not utter it, as you will probably deny knowing me and abandon me to die by the hands of that killer.”</p><p>Patton giggled a little, “We wouldn’t do that, but now I’m curious about your name.” They reached a pair of doors with a sign that read <strong>CAFETERIA</strong> over it. Logan was the one who pushed them open, and they entered the large eating area. There were tables and chairs everywhere; to be fair, it was a large mental hospital with lots of residents. Across the entire room was the counter of foods- and behind it, sharpening a large butcher’s knife, was Virgil.</p><p>When they finally reached him, Roman glanced down the remaining counter. There were three other large knives, sharpened to the sharpest point, lying on the counter next to Virgil. Virgil ignored them, continuing with the butcher’s knife. <em>What is he doing?</em> Logan cleared his throat, “Virgil, I don’t think it’s necessary to prepare like this. I doubt we can take objects into the Mind Palace with us. Is there a particular reason why you went ahead of us?”</p><p>Not responding for about half a minute, Virgil finally set the knife down. An uncomfortable silence stretched out between them before he simply said, “I want to be prepared if the killer tries to attack us. If he tries to kill me… I’ll kill him first.” He flipped a smaller knife up into the air, catching it by the handle and whipping around to throw it. It stuck in the forehead of a picture of someone on a calendar about twenty feet away. <em>Jesus Christ superstar, who is this guy? He might actually kill Remus!</em> Now, <em>that</em> was something Roman couldn’t let happen. “If you kill him, you’ll be just as bad as him! No murdering anyone.”</p><p>“Yeah!” Patton agreed, looking disappointed. “Virgil, it’s bad to kill people. You out of all people should know how much pain it causes. The killer could have his own family, his own children. We just don’t know.”</p><p>Roman glanced over at Logan, and at the same time Logan looked over at him. An unspoken message passed between them. It was obvious that Logan knew Roman and Remus were brothers; he had already said he was educated about all the cases.<em> Should I say something?</em> was what Logan was asking. With the smallest shake of his head, Roman replied, <em>No.</em> The doctor opened his mouth and instead stated, “If <em>Remus</em> attacks us, we must act in self-defense. Manslaughter may be our only option at some point. I was willing to kill him before, and I still am. But I doubt he will attack us; he’s working with J. S., and J. S. wants us to do the tests.”</p><p>With a huff of annoyance, Virgil pulled out yet another knife and started sharpening it. “Well, are we doing Patton’s test now? Or do you need more time to waste?”</p><p>They all looked over at Patton. His mouth opened and then shut. He then looked down at the ground and mumbled, “I- just give me a few more minutes.” When nobody objected, Patton walked a little ways’ away and sat down at a table. The other three didn’t move for a moment before Logan sighed, “I don’t understand why I’m the one who has to comfort him when I’m the one without emotions.” He went over to join Patton and they began talking quietly. Roman leaned against the counter, watching them for a bit before glancing over his shoulder at Virgil. “Say, Negative Nancy, what kind of movies do you like?”</p><p>Virgil stopped with his knife-sharpening, “What?”</p><p>“I said, what movies do you like?”</p><p>“Oh,” he carefully put the knife down and shrugged. “I don’t know. <em>The Nightmare Before Christmas</em>, <em>The Black Cauldron</em>… Certainly not movies you would be interested in.” Roman’s jaw dropped as he stared at the man before him. <em>He… likes Disney? He likes a musical?</em> All the sudden, Virgil was not just seemingly handsome, but had excellent taste in movies. “I- no! I love <em>Nightmare Before Christmas</em>! And Disney movies are my forte! Oh, I could never choose between any of them, they’re all so splendid- what are a few you like?”</p><p>“I- I don’t know,” Virgil grumbled, looking slightly taken aback by Roman’s assault of questions. “I mean, they’re all pretty cool. I guess <em>The Lion King</em> is good, and <em>Mulan</em>. I haven’t watched anything recently, so I can’t really name any off the top of my head. To be honest, I thought you were the type of person who didn’t like movies.”</p><p>Roman let out an offended <em>uh!</em> and turned to face Virgil completely. “Not like- I am an <em>actor</em>! I would’ve been the star of the play the Angelica Theatre was to perform before everyone was murdered! I have acted in countless musicals throughout my life, and my dreams have been inspired by those wondrous and handsome Disney princes from the start! <em>Not like movies</em>? I have never been more insulted!” He had been almost yelling, and now he was out of breath from his rant. Taking in a few deep breaths, Roman felt slightly light-headed. <em>I… I just said </em>all<em> of that. When was the last time I talked about one of my interests?</em> Months ago- no, <em>years</em>. He’d always forced himself to be bland so that nobody would want to be friends with him, but that accusation had sparked something in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time.</p><p>“Wow,” Virgil blinked, “Okay, you like Disney. Me too. Cool.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Patton's test...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Patton:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>When Patton went over to the table, the only thoughts in his mind were about his father. About what his test could be. About what God’s thoughts were about him. <em>What if I’ve sinned too much? What if He’s angry at me?</em> Patton’s thoughts about Logan were unacceptable- his attraction, no, it <em>wasn’t real</em>. God had ordained it to be a man and a woman, not two men. <em>Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.</em> Patton wished it would go away- he’d never wanted it or asked for it. Why did Logan look so good-looking to him? What about him made Patton want to kiss those soft lips? What about him was better than any woman Patton had ever met?</p><p>“Hey,” Logan’s familiar voice spoke from beside him. He glanced up at Logan, his heart stopping for a beat just by <em>looking</em> at him. <em>What is wrong with me?</em> Logan sat down in the chair next to him, “I may not be good at recognizing or helping with emotions, but you helped me during my test. So, I’ll help you in the same way. What are you upset about?”</p><p><em>Too many things.</em> Deciding against, ‘I have an unreal attraction to you’, he went with the other problem. “I… I don’t want to see my dad again. I know the dream will have something to do with him. I’ve been trying to escape him for more than a decade, but just when I thought I could finally forget about him, all of this happened.” Patton paused, wondering if he should admit who his father was. <em>Logan deserves to know.</em> “When I heard his voice in the lobby, all of this became so real. I tried so hard to forget about what happened in the woods but doing all this just makes me see it more clearly.” His throat choked up as he remembered the scene he’d tumbled across at the bus. Everyone massacred- Camden’s body crucified, and Gabby’s body laid against the back door as a trap. Thinking about it made his stomach churn. All that blood, all that gore… <em>I can’t think like that. God is here, He’ll protect us. </em>“I- I know God is here with us, but this is all so scary.” He clenched his hands into fists, not looking at Logan. “I will obey Him.”</p><p>A look of confusion crossed Logan’s face. Hesitating for a moment, he finally said, “Patton, even if there is a God- which I do not believe in myself- they would accept any choice of yours. Did they not give mankind free will? Do they not love you in unbelievable ways? If they really are a good God, then they should love you unconditionally. If they don’t, what is the point in listening to them? The Bible is extremely contradictory- you must choose to obey God or to love like them.”</p><p>“I…” <em>That… that is true. The Bible says to love everyone, including your enemies. Maybe so long as I don’t act on what I’m feeling, it’s not sinning.</em> “Thank you,” Patton finally managed to respond, making eye contact with Logan. Logan’s eyes were a sparkling green, twitching left and right. Logan was the one who broke their matching gaze. “Do you think you’re ready for your test now?” he asked, looking away.</p><p>“Oh!” A slight feeling of disappointment wormed its way into Patton’s heart before he steeled himself. <em>We can talk more later.</em> “Um… yeah. I’m ready- I think.” Before he could say anything else, there was an indignant yell from Roman and then he started ranting off about acting and Disney movies. Both Logan and Patton stared at him and poor Virgil, who looked like a deer stuck in the headlights. Patton chuckled nervously, “We should probably go before Virgil has a heart attack.”</p><p>The two of them stood up and made their way over to the other pair. When Logan opened his mouth to speak, Roman held up a hand. “Save it, Microsoft Nerd! I know there are better things to argue about than Disney movies- <em>to you</em>! But I will surrender anyways- I’m guessing Patton’s ready to go now.” <em>Wow, he seems so much more… vibrant.</em> This man, who had previously been a quiet blank slate, was now emitting waves of confidence. There was a grin on his face- the first one Patton had seen this entire time. <em>I wonder what Virgil said to him that made him this happy?</em> Patton nodded, “Yeah, I’m ready now. Thank you for waiting.”</p><p>Virgil gave him a relieved glance. “It’s fine, at least we’re going now.”</p><p>They made their way through the cafeteria and out the exit, heading into the nearest office. It was the correct one; it looked almost exactly like the previous Mind Palace station had. Those four foreboding chairs made Patton doubt whether he should do this or not, but Logan took his wrist and pulled him over to a chair. His touch burned, just like it had before; but this time, the fire was warmer, safer. It still made Patton squirm a little though. <em>Holding hands isn’t a sin, is it?</em> This time, he was sitting next to Roman <em>and</em> Logan, with Virgil on the far end next to Roman. <em>This is it. If I do this right, we’ll only have two more tests! This is easy- everything will work out. God will make sure we’re safe.</em> With that, they all pulled down the helmets, and for the second time Patton felt the darkness envelope him like water, pressure building against his skin until a loud <em>pop!</em> echoed through his head, and he appeared in a small church.</p><p>The church was quite old, more like a monastery. There was an alter in the center of the room, with about six long rows of seating area between it and them. Behind the four of them was the exit; two double wooden doors with a plaque attached to them, making it impossible to open. The plaque read,<em> Only homosexuals can leave, as decreed by the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.</em> There were stained glass windows lining the walls of sacred paintings from long ago, all depicting God, Jesus, or his disciples. A red carpet split the six rows in half, making a walkway to the alter. Patton glanced around at the other three; they were all wearing monks’ robes, including himself.</p><p>Virgil scratched at his arms through the long sleeves, “Ugh, why is this so itchy!?” Roman looked over at him and then quickly back at his own arms, visibly relaxing. <em>What was that about?</em> Logan simply adjusted his glasses and then raised an eyebrow, “I should’ve realized religion was more entwined with your trauma than you were letting on. Start looking around for anything that might be important.”</p><p><em>How is this going to go?</em> Patton looked back at the plaque. <em>I… I’m not homosexual. I can’t leave- unless there’s another way out.</em> Deciding to follow Logan’s orders, he made his way down the red carpet, passing by the rows of wooden seats and to the alter. It was circular, made with stone and with the middle indented. Laying in the middle was a single photo, worn by time, in a glass frame. It was in black and white, granular like an old movie. The bottom left corner was torn off and the remaining edges were frayed. But the image was clear; it was his father. Smiling, he was tipping his favorite bowler hat at the camera, winking his yellow eye. The hand tipping the hat had a yellow glove on it. <em>He always tried to have style.</em> That deep, guttural feeling was rising inside of Patton, that feeling that made him want to scream. The others came up behind him to see what he was so intently staring at. Picking up the frame with the photo inside, his hand trembling slightly, Patton turned and threw it as hard as he could. It shattered against the wall, sounding with a loud <em>crash!!</em> The others flinched and watched while he marched over to it silently and carefully took the surviving photo from the pile of glass.</p><p>That feeling inside him was growing. That old fury that used to consume him in the darkest nights. That man in that photo had caused him more pain than anyone could imagine. <em>He abandoned me! I was a child, and all he cared about was himself! </em>Hatred fueling him, Patton flipped over the photo and discovered a small hand-written message on the other side.</p><p>
  <em>I defy God and I will love men.</em>
</p><p>Patton ripped the photo straight down the middle. It was instinctual, and it felt <em>incredible</em>. To damage something that hurt him. So, he continued to tear the photograph pieces in half, over and over again until there were only small squares of it left. Then he threw the pieces up into the air and let them drift to the floor. The image of his father now completely destroyed, Patton returned to the alter and sat down on the floor, closing his eyes and clasping his hands together. <em>I will not go through that door. I will obey you, God.</em></p><p>He could hear the others shuffling around- a creak of a wooden bench, steps on the cold stone floor. It didn’t matter. If any of them were gay, they could leave without him. <em>I’m not going to disobey God. He stated that only a man and a woman should be together, not same-sex couples. I will stay here until I die. I will not defy him like my father did!</em></p><p>A hand rested on his shoulder and someone sat down next to him. Patton opened his eyes and looked over to see Logan. <em>Why did it have to be him?</em> Those perfect green eyes flickered to the alter in front of them and then to Patton’s forehead, avoiding eye contact. “If you would like my help figuring this out, I can try my best. It seems that your trauma is very strongly tied to the church and whomever that man was in the photo. Unfortunately, I think you have to tell us, or we’ll be stuck here until we die of dehydration or starve. I wish I could remember how we got here, but that’s beside the point.”</p><p>“You can leave,” Patton stared at the red carpet. “I’m not going with you.”</p><p>Logan frowned and then shook his head. “When I said the same thing, you didn’t give up on me. So, I’m going to make sure we figure out a way to leave that you’re comfortable with. J. S. put you in this test for a reason, Patton. There’s something you need to fix, or something you need to understand. In my test, I learned that it’s okay to ask for help when I don’t understand what’s going on. I’m going to tell you the same thing; you can tell us what you’re thinking.”</p><p><em>I…</em> Patton didn’t know how they’d react. He looked over his shoulder at Roman and Virgil, who were sitting on the front row bench watching them from only a few feet away. <em>What if they hate me for not accepting LGBTQ+ people? I don’t know if any of them are Christian like me- Logan said he wasn’t. They wouldn’t understand- God said it was bad! Homosexuality is against His word. Anyone who doesn’t follow the Lord doesn’t understand.</em> Shaking his head, Patton closed his eyes again and began to pray. <em>Please, God, let me leave here without disobeying you.</em></p><p>The wooden bench squeaked again as either Roman or Virgil got up. Their footsteps headed towards the pile of glass and teared up paper and stopped there. Patton kept praying and hoping that there would be <em>some</em> sort of sign from God. Minutes passed, and Patton’s body was trembling. <em>I-I’ll stay here forever! I will listen to my real father!</em> Finally, the silence was broken by Roman’s voice from where he'd gone to. “Patton… are you homophobic?”</p><p>His eyes popping open, Patton looked over at Roman. Roman had rearranged the ripped-up picture to reveal the message. Everyone was now staring at Patton with wide eyes, and their stares felt like they were boring straight into his soul. “I-” he struggled to speak. “I- God says that it’s not right, that it’s not what He intended. It’s not my place to doubt His decision.” <em>Will that be good enough for them? Will they try to punish me for what I believe? Will they hate me forever? God, please don’t let that happen.</em></p><p>Logan, who was still sitting next to him, glanced at the other two and then back at him. “Patton, do you remember what I told you in the cafeteria? Even if there is a God, he would be cruel for not allowing people to love each other. Jesus’s mission was to show that love is what matters. Do you really want to follow someone who would persecute someone because of something they’re born with? And if they’re born with it, wouldn’t that mean that God created them specifically in that way?”</p><p><em>What?</em> This was too confusing. <em>No, this is simple! I can’t let them screw with my head.</em> “God has a reason for everything. It’s not our place to question him. He created us and gave us the gift of free will so that we could <em>choose</em> him, not be forced to worship him. If that isn’t a sign of his goodness, then there isn’t one.”</p><p>Virgil huffed in annoyance and stood up. “Okay, this is stupid. Patton, it’s not really free will if there are conditions. If I tell you that you can marry anybody that you want except for people with- hm- blonde hair, that’s not right. Maybe I have a reason, but you have no idea what that is. That means yeah, maybe I’m aware that blondes are vampires, or I have an unjustified grudge against blondes that has no basis. Either way, my opinion shouldn’t decide what you want. <em>You</em> should decide who you love, not somebody else. Nobody can control how you feel, not even yourself. Repression gets its power from believing that what you’re feeling shouldn’t exist, so you ignore it until it destroys your mental health. Also, being in a same-sex relationship isn’t even like my blonde analogy; both people are deciding to take part in a metaphorical pairing. The thing that God’s against isn’t even a person, it’s a practice. Why is being gay a bad practice? Can you answer me that? No, you can’t. And neither will God because one, he’s not real, and two, because <em>there is no good reason</em>. When did you even join the church, Patton?”</p><p>“When- when I was twelve.” <em>I don’t know what to think anymore. No! My dad left to be with a man- gay people are not good or kind!</em> Roman came over to them, now next to Virgil. “Who was the man in the photo? I get the feeling you don’t like him very much.”</p><p>“He-” Patton gritted his teeth, looking at the floor. “He was my father. But he abandoned my mom and I to run off with another man. He left us a letter saying that he was gay and that he’d never loved my mother- and he never mentioned me once in it. Who knows what else he did before any of this happened? My father is J. S. and he- he got Talyn and Lilly, and Camden, and Kenny, and Gabby all killed! Everyone’s dead because of him!” He dissolved into sobs, hiding his face in his hands as tears dripped down his face and arms. Nobody said anything as those feelings of hatred swelled up even stronger. <em>My father caused all of this! Why did he have to do all this? What was the meaning of it? I wish he was dead!</em></p><p>Scratching at his arms again, Virgil looked down at him. His face looked surprisingly calm- except for his eyes. Patton could see the anger behind them. <em>Why isn’t he letting it show? </em>“Do you think that maybe you might not support gay people because of your father and not because of your religion? Because that’s what this looks like. Why did you join the church? I mean, it’s not every day that a twelve-year-old decides to join the church randomly.”</p><p>Patton didn’t respond for a moment. <em>Is it really all because of my dad?</em> “I- I just came across a church during its service and sat in on it. The priest said that my real father was God, and that my dad wasn’t. I guess… that comforted me. But I really do believe in Him. I believe He’s a good and loving God that watches over us in peace.”</p><p>Thinking for a moment, Virgil’s eyes nervously flickered to Roman and then back to Patton. “Patton, just because one gay guy happened to be a terrible person doesn’t mean the rest of us are. I mean, I’m gay. We’ve known each other for what, an hour or two now? Have I done anything terrible to you? No. I’m pretty sure our fancy cowboy over here is too. Logan can’t feel anything, so he’s asexual. I’m guessing because of your Christian upbringing, you don’t care for the entire LGBTQ+ community, either. The killer- Remus- he was talking about you not supporting a nonbinary person, wasn’t he? I mean, he kept calling them a ‘them’, and that you only cared for people if they weren’t something.”</p><p><em>He guessed it all…</em> Patton looked away, ashamed, and nodded. Sighing, Virgil cleared his throat. “Can you look at me?” Patton turned his head back slowly and Virgil took a deep breath, his hands clenching into fists. “Look, if talking won’t prove that being in a gay relationship is bad, maybe this will.” Without further ado, he turned to Roman and planted a kiss on his lips, pulling away after a few moments. Roman stared at him, his mouth agape in shock and his cheeks dusting with a slight blush. Ignoring the other’s reaction, Virgil raised an eyebrow at Patton. “Was that bad? Did that cause the end of the world? Are we gonna suffer eternally because we kissed?”</p><p><em>I… no.</em> No, it wasn’t bad. It had been <em>cute</em>, actually, because Roman’s eyes were still wide. And Virgil seemed extremely nervous- that must be his anthropophobia kicking in. <em>I wonder if that meant anything?</em> No, from Patton’s own eyes, it seemed fine. It wasn’t different from a man and a woman kissing- it had been just as innocent. <em>But what about God?</em> What about everything He’d said in the Bible? <em>Is some of it wrong?</em> Those tears were coming back, and he sniffed loudly. “I- no! You’re not, I’m sorry! I- I don’t know what to think! The Bible says it’s not okay, but there’s nothing wrong with what you did! I-I used to think it was okay before I joined the church- but I just don’t know anymore! I- I’ve never liked women either, I’ve always thought that was wrong, but is it really okay? And even if it is, I’ll just be more like my father!”</p><p>There it was. <em>I don’t want to be like my dad.</em> Finally, instead of Virgil, Logan was the one to butt into the discussion. “Liking someone or something that someone else does doesn’t make you the same person. For instance, green is a pretty color. Remus wears a green scarf. I am not like Remus because I think green is a nice color. Jeffrey Dahmer was a famous gay serial killer who would drug his victims and rape them while they were unconscious, as he was obsessed with having a complete, utterly submissive partner. Virgil has said he is gay too, but he has never done anything anywhere near that if the files on him were correct.” Virgil nodded, although he suddenly looked quite uncomfortable, his eyes flickering around the room and his hands clenching and unclenching repeatedly. Patton took a deep breath, “That means… I’m allowed to be gay?” They all nodded quickly, and he stood up. “Okay. Okay, I… thank you. I guess… I’m gay.” He made his way to the church doors, the others sticking close to him.</p><p><em>I can’t believe I’m doing this…</em> Patton pulled the doors open and let light flood over them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Virgil makes a choice and Logan finds an interesting clue.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Virgil:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>This time, resurfacing felt different. It felt like Virgil had risen above the water that had been dragging him down, air finally able to enter his lungs so he could breathe. He gasped for air as his eyes flew open. The helmet was no longer on his head, and his hands were gripping onto the armrests of his chair so tightly that his knuckles were white. Fear and adrenaline were surging through him. <em>I kissed Roman. I kissed Roman. I kissed Roman.</em> He’d done it to help Patton see- no, he’d done it because he couldn’t help himself. Virgil had an attraction to Roman and kissing him had only been for Virgil. <em>I can’t let anything like that happen again. I have no idea who he is, or his place in all this mess! I can’t get close to him.</em></p><p>Roman was the only one standing up. He looked deeply troubled and confused, and his eyes met Virgil’s after a few moments. Virgil quickly averted his gaze. <em>Stop it!</em> Patton was completely still in his chair, staring at the tile floor, and Logan reached forward to put a hand on his shoulder. “Patton, are you alright?”</p><p><em>I’m out.</em> Virgil vaulted from his chair and as he quickly made his way out, he called over his shoulder, “I’ll be back in a sec.” Slamming the door shut behind him, he started running down the hallway. Maybe if he ran hard enough, he could leave his feelings behind. This was all too much. <em>Why do I feel this way?</em> Why did Virgil want to kiss Roman more? They barely knew each other- it was all based on looks at this point. <em>Wow, never knew I could be such a fake person.</em> But maybe it wasn’t just that. They had bonded over Disney movies earlier, if Roman ranting about his acting career could be stated as such. As much as Roman tried to hide it, Virgil could see personality in him- deep passion, pride, and loyalty. For some reason, Virgil liked that, even though he didn’t want to. <em>I wish I could just forget about him!</em></p><p>“Hey!” The last person he wanted to see called out from behind him. “Virgil! I- can you please stop running away from me?”</p><p>Skidding to a halt, Virgil whipped around to face Roman. Roman was standing in the middle of the hallway, breathing a bit heavily- he must have sprinted to catch up. Taking a few more steps towards Virgil, he sighed. “I just wanted to- er- ask about what happened in the dream. It was, uh, surprising. But I-”</p><p>“Nothing happened!” Virgil interrupted him, glaring at everywhere but his eyes. Those pretty amber eyes would just reel him further into those unwanted feelings. “Patton just needed something to push him. It didn’t mean <em>anything</em>! Don’t expect anything like that to ever happen again! I came out here to be alone, okay? I don’t need some pr- some weird-ass Disney fanatic following me everywhere! And even if I <em>did</em> like you, do you really think I would pursue something like that? Kinda anthropophobic, if you didn’t remember! So, just stay the fuck away from me.”</p><p>Neither of them said anything. They stared at each other, tension growing as Virgil bared his teeth and Roman stood completely still. Finally, Roman managed to splutter out, “I- I had n-no intention of- I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry, I’ll just- I’ll, um, head back then.” With that, he took a step backwards and then turned around to head back to the others. Virgil stayed where he was, watching the figure disappear around a corner with feelings of resolve, guilt, and disappointment filling his heart in the empty corridor.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Logan:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Roman left only about twenty seconds after Virgil, leaving Logan and Patton alone in the office. Logan was still waiting for the other’s response and finally, Patton nodded. “Y-Yeah, I’m okay. I just- I wish that somebody had helped me realized how everything should work earlier. I… I’ve done terrible things to other people because of their sexualities. And if God accepts gay people, then He should accept trans people too.” He whimpered and stared down at his hands. “I wish I could apologize to Talyn. She- <em>they</em> deserved better than everything I ever said to them.”</p><p><em>He’s still upset… what do I say?</em> Why did Logan always have to be the one to do the comforting? Of course, he didn’t have a problem with doing it, but he believed literally anyone else would be better equipped to help Patton. <em>Well… what would </em>he <em>say to </em>me<em>? What do people do when they want to make others not sad?</em> Because if Logan deserved to be comforted, then certainly Patton did. Carefully, he took Patton’s hand and said, “Usually, people are forgiving if you genuinely want to change your ways to something better. I’m sure they would forgive you once they saw you actively trying to make up for the things you said.”</p><p>For a moment, Patton didn’t do anything but stare at Logan’s hand. Then he looked up and nodded, “Uh, yeah, okay!” His voice cracked a little in the middle, and his eyes were wide. <em>Hmm… aren’t those signs of anxiety?</em> Logan tilted his head slightly, “Are you sure you’re okay? You sound nervous. Forgive me if I’m being nosy or assuming things- I was told I should learn how to know when someone might spiral into a panic attack, so I always make sure to keep that in mind.”</p><p>“Y-Yeah, I’m okay!” Patton said. He pulled his hand away from Logan’s and held it close to his own chest. “But um- I have a question for you. Do you know what your sexuality would be if you had your emotions back? I’m sorry if that’s personal to ask, I just- I know that Virgil’s gay, and he said that Roman was probably gay too, and I- I just-” He stopped speaking. Logan waited a few moments to speak in case Patton wanted to say anything else. “Well, my parents have told me that before the surgery, I acted very gay. We won’t know for sure until J. S. does whatever he does to make me be able to feel again. It will be quite interesting to see how he achieves that.” <em>Will it be a brain transplant? Or will he put another computer chip in my head to replicate human emotions?</em> Logan realized his thoughts were straying and made himself meet Patton’s eyes for a short few seconds. “I hope that is a good enough answer for you.”</p><p>Patton tried speaking again but was unsuccessful, his cheeks tinted red. Finally, he managed to splutter out loudly, “Y-Yeah! Th- thanks! Uh, do you think we should go find V-Virgil and Roman? They’ve been gone for a while now!”</p><p><em>Hmm… should we?</em> Virgil had probably left to get some air- kissing Roman had been a brave thing for him to do, considering that the entire reason he had anthropophobia was because he had been raped. <em>What about Roman? He used the restroom earlier… did he go after Virgil?</em> “I think they’ll be fine,” he replied, shaking his head. “Virgil seems to be able to handle himself quite well, and Roman probably went to find him, so he’ll be safe too.” Thinking for a moment, he then said, “Do you know anything about any of us?” Logan himself knew everything about the cases and all their testimonies of what had happened, but he had no clue if the others did. From the silent messages he had tried to decipher from Roman, he figured that Roman didn’t want the other two knowing about his connection to Remus. <em>I don’t think Patton would have a problem with it… but I’m not so sure about Virgil.</em></p><p>“No,” Patton bit his lip. “Should I? I didn’t even know there was going to be anyone else here. I mean, I heard about what happened at the hospital in San Francisco, but I didn’t think it was connected to what happened in the woods. I didn’t know if my father wanted me to come alone, so I didn’t tell the police about the note I got. Stupid of me, right? If I really cared about what happened to Thomas and Joan, I would’ve brought backup. But I didn’t.”</p><p>“The police are waiting outside,” Logan informed him. “Don’t worry. Roman, Virgil, and I all spoke with them about our notes. It would’ve been redundant if you had spoken to them. In fact, as the son of J. S., it was probably better that you didn’t; we don’t want him to know that the police are here, and he’s probably watching you the closest.”</p><p>The door opened and Roman came in, leaning against the wall and staring at the floor. <em>If he’s back, where’s Virgil?</em> Had Virgil left the group again? <em>That would be quite a dangerous thing… if he attempts his own test without our aid, he will surely end up dead. I don’t think he’d leave the building- he said he was here to find someone.</em> To answer all his questions, Virgil slunk through the door and quickly sat down on the desk. “Alright,” he grumbled, “What are we doing?”</p><p>Standing up, Logan pulled the map out of his back pocket and laid it out on the empty desk space next to Virgil. “The only tests we have left are yours and Roman’s. Yours is on the third floor, and Roman’s is on the other side of the second floor. Do either of you have a preference on the order of which we do them?”</p><p>Neither of them spoke, both eyeing each other nervously. Roman was the one who cleared his throat and managed to say, “Oh, it doesn’t really matter to me! Virgil can go first- I’m sure he would like to get it over with. I mean, why wait to get your problems solved?” Before he could say anything else, Virgil quickly butted in. “No, no, you can go first. I mean, yours is closer anyways, right? It’s on the second floor. It just makes sense. I’m fine with waiting.” They continued to stare at each other. <em>How can they hold eye contact for that long?</em> Looking down at the map, Logan measured the distance between their position and the two other tests. <em>Hmm… technically, Virgil’s is closer. If we go to his test first, we’ll be closer to Roman’s test and have less distance to travel.</em> He looked up at them. “Virgil, your test is actually closer. I hope it wouldn’t be too uncomfortable for you if we did yours before Roman’s?”</p><p>Opening his mouth to speak, Virgil didn’t say anything. Finally, he huffed and went over to the door. “Fine, whatever. Sure, let’s do my test first. You guys are gonna love it, it’s gonna be the best thing you ever saw. I hope you like horror movies.” He swept out of the room, and the other three quickly jogged after him as they turned left and headed for the stairs to the third floor. <em>I would’ve thought Virgil would be less enthusiastic. Or perhaps he was ‘joking’? I wish people would just be clear on what they wanted to say. It makes it extremely difficult for me to understand when they make their meaning unclear. Or maybe he changed his mind and he’s happy about this?</em></p><p>No one spoke as they made their way through the mental hospital. Roman was following the other three from a few feet behind, staring at the floor as he walked. Logan wondered what was on his mind. <em>He’s so quiet… this place might be reminding him of the mental hospital he stayed at after the Angelica Case.</em> Ever since the terrorist attack, Logan had tried his hardest to focus in on the behaviors of everyone around him. More than a few times he had walked straight into a wall because of his concentration. It was still difficult, but he was starting to pick up on a few things and connect them with feelings. Being quiet either meant you were uncomfortable or were keeping a secret. <em>How long will he be able to keep his relationship with Remus a secret? Was he asking Virgil to go first because he doesn’t want them to know? But it’s inevitable, so why put it off?</em> Had he and Virgil spoken out in the hallway before? What had they said to each other?</p><p>Indeed, Logan was so focused on his thoughts that he accidentally crashed into an open door. He stumbled backwards, rubbing his sore forehead, all wonderings knocked from his head at the moment. The others glanced back at him and Patton’s eyes widened. “Ouch! Are you okay, Logan? How did you even walk into that without noticing it was there?”</p><p>“I’m not extremely aware of my surroundings,” Logan admitted. He glanced into the room on his left and a voice whispered at the back of his mind. <em>You should go in there- you might find something interesting.</em> He found himself saying, “I’ll catch up in a bit- go on without me. I want to check something.” Then he slipped into the dark room and began to look around.</p><p>Flicking on the light switch, Logan realized he was in an operating room. A long operating table was in the middle of the room, with counters lining the walls and a single doctor’s chair off to the side. There was a metal filing cabinet in the corner, one that looked like it had come straight out of his test. The light above him was dim and cast dark shadows everywhere. That same voice from only a few moments again whispered, <em>This is where you will be made whole again if Roman and Virgil pass their tests. Incredible, isn’t it?</em> Logan nodded, although nobody else was there to see, and he went over to the filing cabinet. Opening the middle drawer, he found it stuffed full of dusty files- patients’ names were in alphabetical order. It was then that he spotted a familiar name, <em>Logan.</em> Logan pulled it out and flipped it open. Surprisingly, it was relatively clean compared to the other dusty files. Inside the folder were all the details on his childhood surgery- he’d seen it all before, of course, but it was strange how it was now here. <em>So, J. S. is definitely the doctor who performed my surgery…</em></p><p>Putting the folder back and shutting the cabinet, Logan poked around a bit more. There wasn’t much to find; the counters were all clear, like an operating room should be. Well… mostly all clear. In a dark corner, Logan brushed his fingertips against paper, and he took it and held it up against the dim light. It was a photograph; older, from the early 2000s. In it were two people- a father and his son. The son was beaming, light freckles dotting his cheeks and a bowl cut overtop his head. He was wearing a red shirt with Spider-Man on it, along with brown shorts and Spider-Man crocks. The father was crouched down beside him, his yellow-gloved hands on his son’s shoulders. He, too, was smiling, the crook of his lips seeming more like a smirk. His eyes glimmered in the camera’s flash, his left yellow eye standing out clearly. A purple button-up shirt, a yellow tie, and black pants was what he was wearing. Together, the two of them were standing on a grassy lawn, sunset light flooding over the green, with hundreds of people surrounding them. Logan flipped the picture over, reading the caption written in ink on the back. <em>4<sup>th</sup> of July!</em></p><p>It was clearly Patton and his father. <em>Should I give this to Patton?</em> No- Patton didn’t like his father. But how was Logan to know? People were extremely complex. <em>If I don’t give it to him, there’s no risk of making him upset. I’ll keep it to myself for now.</em> Folding it in half and sticking it back into his pocket, Logan left the operating room and starting jogging down the corridors to catch up with the others.</p><p>They hadn’t gotten that far- when Logan reached them, they were midway up the staircase to the third floor. Roman looked back at him as he scaled the steps quickly to rejoin them. “We were starting to wonder if you’d come back. What’d you find?”</p><p><em>What should I say?</em> “My old surgery papers,” Logan informed him. “My theory about my old doctor being J. S. was correct. Given that they have the same initials, though, I don’t think there was any possibility of it being anyone else. Patton, your father used to be a neurosurgeon, correct?” When Patton nodded, Logan raised an eyebrow. “See? Absolutely right.”</p><p>Virgil huffed, “As long as the police get him, I don’t care who the fuck he is. Oh, and I want the killer to be incarcerated for life. If anyone deserves it, it’s him. You can’t just fucking kill at least fifty people and expect to get away with it. Seriously, who does J. S. think he is? He pulled all that shit just for some stupid machine when he could’ve just found some people who were already traumatized! No, he just had to go and ruin everyones’ lives first. Well, his life is gonna be the one ruined when I’m finished with him.”</p><p>The conversation seemed to end as they all fell back into their usual silence. Logan took out the map and resumed leading them through the hospital, making a few turns here and there but mostly sticking straight. Eventually, he halted in front of a closed door and folded the map back up. “Alright, this is it. Let’s head inside.”</p><p>Roman’s face contorted into something like a smile, and he kicked the door open with his foot and bowed to Virgil. “After you, my dark liege.” Virgil stared at him for a moment before rolling his eyes and muttering as he stalked into the room, “Weirdo.” Patton snorted a little and bounded in after Virgil, the remaining two just behind. The interior, unlike the past two offices, was a large open room with lots of tables and chairs, like the cafeteria. There was a wall of art supplies on the other end of the room and the walls were white with splashes of colors from the rainbow. Roman took in a deep breath and released it in a large sigh, his eyes flickering across the room and his smile growing. <em>I wonder why he’s smiling…</em></p><p>The chairs set aside for them were in the far corner, the computer situated on an empty table beside them. As Logan, Roman, and Patton went over to them and sat down, Virgil stopped walking and looked around. He then mumbled something incoherent, his gaze resting on his feet as a scowl crossed his face. Patton raised his eyebrows, “What was that, Virgil?”</p><p>“I said I’m not doing it,” Virgil hissed loudly. Their eyes all widened and Roman spluttered out, “What do you <em>mean</em> you’re not doing it? You have to, otherwise you won’t get whoever you came here for back! Doing the test is the only way any of us are going to get what we want.”</p><p>Turning away from them, Virgil shook his head, his scowl deepening. “I <em>said</em>. I’m not doing it. Not with any of you, at least. There’s a high chance that we’ll die in there and I don’t want to risk that. It’ll be easier to just search for J. S. instead of wasting our time doing these meaningless tests. Trust me, you don’t want to go into my test. I already know exactly what it’s gonna be.”</p><p>Patton made a desperate <em>uh!</em> sound and went over to Virgil. “Virgil, please! We have to do this! Both Logan and I did our tests, now it’s your turn! You may not like it, but J. S. said we had to do it! Please, Virgil. I can’t save Thomas and Joan if you don’t do your test. Don’t do it because you want to, do it because we <em>need</em> you to.”</p><p>“No,” Virgil said simply and shuffled over to a dark corner of the room, sitting against the wall and holding his knees up to his chest, hiding his face from the rest of them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Virgil runs away and sees some familiar faces.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Virgil:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p><em>I can’t do it I can’t do it I can’t do it I can’t do it I can’t do it I can’t do it I can’t do it.</em> This is the panic that Virgil had come to know so well over his entire life. He’d resisted for so long today, but now everything was crashing down around him, and he just didn’t know what to do. No, Virgil couldn’t do his test with anyone. Nobody could look into his head. <em>I was supposed to ditch them by now!</em> He couldn’t let this happen. No, there had to be a different way to save Dante. The test was going to include so many people, he was sure of it. There was going to be people crowding him, attacking him, trying to grab him and tear off his clothes and rape him again and again and again and again and again and again-</p><p>“Hey,” Patton’s voice cut through his spiraling thoughts. He had sat down next to Virgil, leaving a good six inches between them. “Are you okay? You don’t look good. Can you try breathing with me? Virgil, try breathing with me.” He took Virgil’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “I know you’re scared, but just remember to breathe. In for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight. Four, seven, eight. Come on, Virgil, you can do it.”</p><p>The tight hand grasping onto Virgil’s own wasn’t helping, but Patton’s steady voice was. Slowly, he regained control of his breathing. <em>One, two, three, four.</em> His trembling body- when had he started trembling?- stilled and he started feeling air come in easier. After a few minutes of focusing, the panic attack had faded away. He slowly turned his head to look at Patton, taking his hand away. “Th- thanks. How- how did you know that exercise?”</p><p>“Experience,” Patton gave him a small, sad smile. “I end up being alone more often than I would like, and every time it’s a big ordeal for me. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you right now to be with all three of us right now for so long. When- right before we did my test, I almost thought that I might be separated from you guys in my test, but there were bigger things to worry about happening than that. But I’m guessing that your Anthropophobia is a much bigger deal to you than my Autophobia is to me. If you don’t mind me asking, what do you think your test is going to be?”</p><p>Hesitating for a few moments, Virgil finally confessed in a whisper, “People. Lots of people. They’ll try to attack us- they’ll kill you guys and then take me and- and-” He didn’t want to finish saying that. He didn’t want to say it out loud in case that made it real. <em>I shouldn’t be saying all of this! Patton could use it against me!</em> No more words left his shut mouth. After a minute or so, Patton sighed. “Alright. I’ll leave you alone to think- just please, hurry.” He pushed up onto his feet and returned to Roman and Logan, who were across the room.</p><p><em>What do I do?</em> Patton’s reassurance had been nice and all, but that didn’t change the facts. Virgil did not want to do his test, and he doubted there was a way anyone could convince him otherwise. <em>What about Dante?</em> Virgil would just have to find him. <em>J. S. and the killer wouldn’t… murder him, would they? They need him as bait. They won’t kill him. I just need to find him, and we can leave and…</em> and then what? What would they do? The police would probably take Dante to social services if he had no more family to stay with. What else did Virgil expect? Virgil was anthropophobic, and he didn’t have enough money to… <em>raise</em> a kid. Was that what he wanted? Did he want to adopt Dante? <em>No, I… I just want to be his friend. I want to be there. I want to watch him grow up into the amazing person I know he’ll be.</em></p><p>So, yes, he <em>did</em> want to adopt Dante. <em>That’ll never happen, though… but the least I can do is save him from these crazy people.</em></p><p>Making sure none of the others were watching him, Virgil went down on his hands and knees and crawled through the art room silently, passing under tables and between chairs. His goal was to make it to the door and then begin his search. <em>What will they think of me?</em> It didn’t matter; <em>they</em> didn’t matter. Roman, Logan, and Patton could figure out what they were going to do themselves. There was no way Virgil would do that goddamn test. They could go do Roman’s test, and J. S. would probably let them off with whatever they wanted. Virgil didn’t need to participate. They didn’t need him. <em>I don’t care about curing my trauma. I don’t care about any of that shit.</em></p><p>Reaching the door, Virgil quietly opened the door and winced as it creaked. <em>They definitely heard that.</em> Indeed; Roman, Logan, and Patton glanced over just as he leapt out into the hallway. <em>Shit, shit, shit, I gotta run!</em> He’d only be able to look for Dante properly if he lost them. They wouldn’t let him look for Dante- they’d just drag him back to his test. He heard someone call out after him, “Virgil! Wait, come back!”, as he sprinted down the hallway and made the soonest turn, not caring which way he was going as long as it was away from there. It all felt so familiar- running from someone, trying to save Dante, <em>running and running and being afraid</em>. Tears? Yes, the tears streaming down his cheeks now as he begged to any greater power that might exist to just <em>please, let me save Dante. Let me give Dante the happiest life anyone can receive. Don’t let him die at the hands of these evil people, don’t let the same thing that happened to me happen to him.</em></p><p>He’d lost the others. Their footsteps had faded and although he could hear their faint calls, he kept going. The fear that had been so familiar to him a month before was flooding through his body at full force now. He had to get away from them. <em>They’ll kill me they’ll hurt me they’ll touch me they’ll rape me they’ll rape me they’ll rape me.</em> All the blood from when he’d awoken in his house to find his father killed- there had been so much of it. His father ripped into shreds, his skin in a saggy pile on the counter, his leg torn from his body, the glasses laying shattered on the red carpet. Virgil’s body still aching, still in pain from the hours of agony and intimacy, screaming as visions of the past night would never fade or go away. No, wait he was screaming right now- in this mental hospital. He slumped to the ground and continued to scream, tears flooding down his cheeks as he clutched his head, trying to shake the nightmare from his mind, rocking back and forth on the cool tile floor, screaming, screaming, <em>screaming</em>-</p><p>“Wow, you really got some demons in your head!” A blood-curdling voice spoke from above. <em>No. No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no.</em> Virgil didn’t want to look up. <em>No, this isn’t real. This isn’t happening. None of this is real this is all fake this is imaginary this is a nightmare.</em> If this was fake, the killer couldn’t hurt him. With adrenaline making his entire body tremble, Virgil slowly lifted his head up. There was a screen hanging from the ceiling- probably used to display announcements usually- and on it was the killer. His shaggy ginger hair with those gray bangs, his piercing amber eyes staring intently down at Virgil, that slick mustache twitching along with his grin. He almost looked exactly as he did 8 years ago when he’d raped Virgil. When he had taunted, teased, laughed, and relished in Virgil’s screams and begging, trying to get him to stop. <em>He wouldn’t listen, he just kept going, not caring that Virgil was in agony and screaming.</em></p><p>“Good thing I got something that’ll cheer you up!” Remus slipped out of the frame, revealing two tied-up teenagers that had been behind him. They both tried speaking through their taped mouths, but their words were indecipherable. Virgil was slightly confused as to who they were before it clicked in his head; <em>they’re Thomas and Joan, the kids Patton’s looking for.</em> Remus poked his head back into the edge of the frame. “Say hello to Thomas and Joan! We’ve been having a lot of fun- Truth or Dare, Two Truths and a Lie, fun party games! I’m still trying to get them to agree to Spin the Bottle, but it’s been fun getting to know them! Too bad you’re breaking the rules.” He pouted and strutted over to the two teens, still grinning at Virgil through the screen. “It would be a shame if I had to end them- both the games and these wonderful friends of mine.”</p><p><em>He’s gonna kill them? </em>No, he wouldn’t do that- right? They needed the bait for Patton. <em>But Patton already did his test, and this guy has killed lots of people before. I doubt he would have a problem doing it again.</em> Virgil stared at the two teenagers, their frightened eyes speaking to him without unnecessary words. <em>They’re so scared… just like I was. Ugh, no, all that matters is Dante! Dante is the most important!</em> And yet, a part of him was telling him <em>no, you can’t let them die.</em> He couldn’t let them feel the same terror he had. And if one of them escaped, they would be scarred just like him. Screaming in a mental hospital at the monsters in their head. Crying at the slightest trigger, their minds broken and unable to see a good ending. Forever fearing everyone, paranoid that everyone was out to get them like the killer was. Virgil’s whole body was shaking, tears still trickling down his face, but he managed to say, “Show me Dante, and I’ll go back.” Every voice in his head was screaming at him to run, telling him to not accept the deal. <em>What will I see in my test?</em> What would the <em>others</em> see in his test? Maybe, during the dream, they would turn on him. They would take turns torturing him like those two men and the killer had.</p><p>“Okay!” the killer responded brightly. He disappeared from the screen and then returned a few moments later, pulling a child into the frame. <em>Dante!</em> Dante’s face was… calm? <em>No, that’s not right. How can he be calm?</em> Dante’s eyes widened and he ran up to the screen, moving in so close Virgil could only see his eyes. “Is that you, Virgil? You’ve come to save me! See, I told you he would!” He looked over his shoulder at the killer, a <em>smile</em> of all things on his wonderful face. “Virgil! Virgil! Guess what! I made a couple friends! Their names are Thomas and Joan, they’re super nice! They’re really funny too- they’re always making fun of the man! You know, the man with the gun? And Remus is nice too, he asks me about what I see, and we make stories together!” Dante then went quiet before saying, “I miss you, Virgil. I miss my abuela. Remus said she was dead, and that he killed her like he killed all those other people. But I don’t blame him for it. He was under orders. He hears things like I do. Please, don’t be mad at him.”</p><p>The killer shoved Dante lightly out of the way. “Alright, catch-up time is over! You’ve seen Dante, he’s perfectly fine and well. He might not be for long, though, unless you rejoin the others. J wants <em>all</em> the tests done, and he’s not afraid of hurting you to get what he wants. I mean, he’s done it enough already, heehee!”</p><p>“There is no need for that,” Logan’s familiar voice spoke from behind Virgil. Virgil whipped his head around to see that Logan, Roman, and Patton were all standing a few feet away. Logan and Roman stared up at the TV while Patton hurriedly came over to Virgil and helped him onto his feet. “Are you okay, Virgil?” Roman’s eyes flickered over to them and Virgil tore his gaze away from either of them, “Yeah, I’m fine.” <em>They know I’m not.</em> They’d probably heard his screaming, they could see the undried tears on his face, his ruffled hair, his shaking body. <em>I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this.</em> How long had they been watching? How much did they know about him now? He didn’t want them to know about his weaknesses. But weren’t they going to find out anyway? Virgil had agreed to do the test. Fear ran down his spine like a chill.</p><p>The killer giggled, pulling at the curly end of his mustache. “Heehee, don’t worry! As long as he does his test, Dante should be fine. Trust me- I know what it’s like to be bait. See you soon!” With those words and an eyebrow wiggle, the TV screen went black. <em>What does he mean by that? When has he ever been bait?</em> What was going on? Why was Dante… <em>associating</em> with that monster? Why did he forgive the killer for murdering his own grandmother? Nothing was making sense. <em>Oh Dante… why do you have to be so nice?</em></p><p>Logan glanced over at Virgil, “Are you ready? Really, it’s strange how you were forcing Patton to hurry when it was his turn, but now that it is yours, you seem extremely hesitant.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Virgil muttered, glaring at them all and stalking down the hallway back towards the test room. He didn’t want them to see the fear slowly resurrecting in him again. But as they walked through the now-familiar building, Roman came up beside him and looked over him with worry. “Hey, I- I know you said you were fine, but you don’t seem to be. Are you… how are you doing? I’m guessing that boy- Dante- is the person you came here for. If you want to talk about it, I’m- um- here to listen.”</p><p><em>He deserves to know, </em>that stupid voice in the back of his head spoke again. <em>Deserves? No way! Why should I tell him what happened? If I tell him, he might use it against me to get something he wants. I can’t let him control me like that. …But he’s asking you, not demanding it. If he wanted to control you, would he be constantly letting you walk all over him? It’s for the best. He’ll know soon enough, anyways.</em></p><p>“It’s complicated,” Virgil mumbled. Roman let out a small laugh, “I know what that’s like.”</p><p>Giving Roman a glare, Virgil huffed and stared at the ground as they walked. “Well… about a month ago, I went to this art gallery exhibit. Brooklyn, that’s where I live.” <em>Why did I mention that? Now he knows where I live, and he can come to my apartment and assault me!</em> “There were a bunch of other people there- I think twelve or thirteen. A couple of security guards, the curator, and the rest were tourists. I talked to someone named Cora and then Dante and his grandmother, Margaret. After so much socialization, I went up to the third floor and these two guys followed me. I don’t know what they wanted, I think they said something about my art, but then the lights went out. I heard someone attack them, and when the lights came back on, they’d been murdered.” Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to continue. “Everyone came upstairs to see what had happened, but after a bit of investigating the guards realized there was a serial killer in the building- and the panic room was on the bottom floor. We divided into groups and left one at a time to make it down there. I went with Jake- a security guard- Cora, Dante, and Margaret. None of the groups stood a chance. That killer murdered the other groups and had killed Jake and Cora by the time we made it to the 1<sup>st</sup> floor. Dante- he told me at one point that he had schizophrenia, and I don’t know, I… I felt connected to him. He’s the first person since… in a while that I’ve had a connection with. Margaret got killed and the killer took Dante. A week later, I got that stupid note telling me to come here if I wanted to see him again.”</p><p>Both Virgil and Roman remained silent for a good half minute until Roman spoke in a whisper, “I’m so sorry. That must’ve felt terrible- meeting someone you learned to care about and then having them torn away from you that same day.” There was something in his voice that made Virgil look up at his face. There were brewing tears in Roman’s eyes, although he was holding them back quite well. <em>Am I making him cry? I’m making him cry, shit!</em> Momentary panic made Virgil do the unthinkable; he reached out to hold Roman’s hand. Their fingers brushed together, and he clung onto a single finger nervously, resuming his intense stare at the floor. “It’s not your fault. You don’t need to apologize. You didn’t take him, and you didn’t hurt anyone there. But thanks.” Their conversation ended, and a comfortable silence flowed between them.</p><p>The four of them reached the test room and without any discussion, they all sat down in their spots. Virgil was on the end again, with Roman on his right. They had let go of each other to get situated, but now Roman took his hand again. It felt comfortable- like a hug should, but subtle.</p><p>Without a word, they were dragged into darkness by invisible groping hands.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Virgil's test...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Virgil:</em>
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</p><p>Even as reality faded, Virgil could feel hands pulling at him, at his clothes, dragging him downwards. He wanted to scream out, to cry for help, <em>Roman!</em> But his mouth was glued shut and no sounds would emerge from him. The hands got a firm hold on him and yanked on him. <em>Thump!</em> He landed on hard, cool, stone, and he groaned in pain from the impact. Opening his eyes, Virgil felt adrenaline spike through him as he took in their new environment. <em>What the hell is this place? And how the hell did we get here!?</em></p><p>The four of them- Virgil, Roman, Logan, and Patton- were all laying the ground, having all been pulled down. They were now in a dark cave, with two tunnels leading off to who knew where. There were giant spiderwebs everywhere- clinging to the corners, to the walls, to the ceiling. Virgil peeled one off his jacket, the sticky substance hugging on until more than a little force was applied. The cave was of dark gray stone, with rocks and pebbles scattered on the floor. Surprisingly, even though there were so many spiderwebs, there wasn’t a spider in sight. <em>That doesn’t make any sense. With spiderwebs like these, this should be a colony!</em></p><p>Patton glanced around at them all. “Is everyone okay?” he asked worriedly. When everyone gave their mumbles of reassuring, he sighed with relief. “Okay. Should we look for the way out? Logan’s and my tests both needed us to escape where we were.”</p><p>“Probably,” Roman agreed, sitting up. “Geez, this place gives me the creeps! Should’ve known the emo would have a test like this.” He winked at Virgil playfully, who felt his cheeks heat up before he thought to himself, <em>Oh, stop it! Now’s not the time!</em> Virgil pushed himself up to his feet and went over to the nearest tunnel. “Come on, there’s no time to waste. Let’s just get the heck out of here.” He didn’t wait for them to argue and instead started walking, having to bend over even more than usual to avoid hitting his head on the ceiling.</p><p>The claustrophobia was starting to get to him. As they made their way through the long, winding tunnel, he began to feel his breath coming short. Anything could happen in such a small space, and he wouldn’t be able to run. <em>What if something attacks us? I wouldn’t be able to escape- I’m leading right now, I’m in front of everyone else. I would be killed first. I have to get out of here, I have to go I have to run I can’t do this I have to go-</em></p><p>“Hey,” a familiar hand took Virgil’s own, making him flinch before he realized it was Roman. “It’s okay. Breathe slowly. I’m right here.” With a steady voice reassuring him, Virgil reminded himself of his breathing exercise. <em>Four, seven, eight.</em> In, hold, out, in, hold, out, <em>in, hold, out.</em> Finally, they reached the end of tunnel and came out into a large cavern. The scene made Virgil’s skin crawl- just like the humans crawling on the ginormous swaths of spiderwebs.</p><p>The humans were normal- normal people, other than their black, beady eyes that blinked slowly. They wattled up the walls and delicately stepped on webs, their weight somehow sustained. Virgil could feel the breath leave his body and not return. There were <em>so many of them.</em> The cavern was as large as the Grand Central Station in NYC, if not bigger. Hundreds, no, <em>thousands</em> of humans were <em>everywhere</em>, and oh God <em>they’re the most frightening things I’ve ever seen.</em> Someone was speaking to him, someone was trying to get his attention, but that didn’t matter. This was Virgil’s worst nightmare come to life, and it filled his entire soul with terror. <em>I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to this I should have run I should go home I should leave I need to run I need to escape run run I need to run I’m going to die they’re going to murder me they’re going to rape me they’re going to hurt me they’re going to kill me kill me kill me-</em></p><p>Someone put a hand on his shoulder and Virgil instantly bent over and pulled his knives out of his boots, spinning around. He grabbed the human, pinning them to the ground, and raised his knife to stab them until they screamed and died. Someone snatched his arms, though, holding him back and he himself screamed, trying to rip away and kill his attackers. He would kill both of them- then he would be safe. If he killed them first, he would be safe. They wouldn’t kill him. They would die, he would make sure of that. “<em>Virgil, stop it</em>!” someone yelled, their voice wavering. As Virgil’s breath coming in through gasps, his mind slowly caught up to his body.</p><p>Currently, Virgil was on top of Logan, the knives in his hands gleaming with a readiness to make someone bleed like they never had before. Roman was restraining him, gritting his teeth with the force it was taking. Patton was a few feet away, his hands over his mouth in shock as his body shook with fright. Virgil shook Roman off and stuck his knives back into his boots, getting up and facing away from them. “Sorry,” he muttered. Logan cleared his throat, “No, I apologize. I should’ve known you would react that way, considering we are in a large room with lots of people. We were trying to get your attention because you were starting to have a panic attack, but touching you was certainly the wrong way to go about it.”</p><p><em>Why’s he apologizing? I attacked him!</em> Most people would’ve screamed at him<em>.</em> <em>If someone suddenly turned on me and was going to murder me, I would.</em> Of course, Logan didn’t have emotions, so he probably didn’t care if he got killed. Virgil, feeling slightly guilty, turned back around and kicked at a pebble. “No, I- I- it’s not your fault. Just don’t do that again.” Suddenly, Patton gasped and pointed behind Virgil, “Virgil, look out-!”</p><p>Before Patton could finish speaking, Virgil felt someone grab the hood of his jacket, pulling him backwards. He let out a yelp of surprise. <em>It’s not one of them, they’re all in front of me, it’s a monster it’s going to kill me it’s going to rape me-</em> Forcing himself to act, Virgil once again unsheathed his weapons and sliced backwards. <em>Shlip!</em> The satisfying sound of flesh being pierced echoed through the cave, the human- no, the <em>creature</em>- that was hanging onto Virgil screeching. He whipped around to face his opponent, the top edge of his hood ripping off as the human tried to keep its grip. It was gangly woman, its black eyes piercing through him. She continued screeching and leapt at him, clawing at his body. Ignoring the terror he was feeling, <em>I won’t get raped again!</em>, Virgil plunged his other knife into her back and twisted the first knife into her stomach. She writhed in agony, convulsing as Virgil managed to throw her off and wrench his knives from her body. Clutching at her wounds, she moaned and clawed at the ground, trying to scramble weakly away from Virgil. <em>I won’t let another murderer get away!</em> He stepped onto her back and crouched down, turning her over slightly and slicing through her throat. <em>That’ll kill her quickly.</em> She croaked, blood spilling onto the ground beneath. Virgil took a step away and then fell into a seated position, his knives dropping from his hands and landing with two matching <em>clang!</em>s on the ground.</p><p>The human gurgled, her arms and legs twitching. Then she went still, her black eyes misting slightly into a dark gray. Everyone stared at her body, a horrified silence stretching out between them. Patton then turned and vomited, flecks of green coating the cave wall. Roman turned his gaze to Virgil, his jaw ajar, and there was something new in his eyes. Was it worry? Fright? Horror? <em>I just killed someone. I killed a person.</em> Before Virgil could fully comprehend it, he shoved those thoughts away. <em>She attacked me. She was going to kill me or rape me, I had to kill her! There wasn’t another option!</em> Even so, as he looked down at his blood-stained hands, he thought numbly, <em>I’m turning out just like the killer, just like Roman said I would.</em></p><p>“Well now,” Logan adjusted his glasses, unaffected by the sight. “We should continue.”</p><p><em>I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared.</em> Virgil didn’t make a move to get up, continuing to sit on the cold ground and stare at the dead body of the human. Roman came over to him and wiped the blood of his knives, handing them back to him. “Hey, come on. It’s okay, what you did to her. She attacked you. We’ve got to find the exit.” He extended his hand to Virgil, who hesitantly took it after putting away one of his knives and was shot up to standing. As the blood rushed to his head, Virgil decided he wouldn’t put away the other knife, in case someone else attacked them. <em>Any of us could die. We have to be careful.</em></p><p>Quietly and ever so carefully, they navigated through the humongous cavern. They made their steps light as feathers, creeping slowly past the skittering humans. Virgil’s breath barely felt like a breeze in his lungs. Roman hadn’t ever let go of his hand. Throughout this entire time, Roman had been so kind and caring. <em>He keeps comforting me… is he just trying to gain my trust so he can rape me?</em> Yes, that was what it was. …But Virgil couldn’t get rid of the attraction he felt for him. That handsome face, the kinds words, that undying passion. He hadn’t gotten mad at Virgil for killing that person. Virgil knew he was falling for Roman- falling hard. But the fears from his past wouldn’t leave him alone and he once again reminded himself of his top priority. <em>Save Dante.</em></p><p>Finally, they made it across to the other side of the room. A door stood in front of them, entombed into the wall. Its edges were brimmed with gold and the handles looked like they were from an old 1800s door. Intricate carvings spiraled up and down them. Pinned to the wall beside it was a sign that read, <em>Only the fearless can move forward.</em> Virgil sat down against the doors and huffed, “Well, guess we’re never getting out of here.” <em>Why did I think I’d ever be able to do this? I’m a coward. I’m scared of everyone I meet. I’m fucking scared of my goddamn crush! I can’t save Dante. How do I even prove I’m fearless? None of this makes sense!</em></p><p>While Patton and Logan also sat down by some large rocks, Roman studied the sign. He frowned and then glanced at Virgil. “Virgil… why are you so afraid of other people? Maybe if you tell us, we can figure out how to escape this creepy place.”</p><p>“No,” was the automatic response that escaped Virgil’s mouth. His answer didn’t even make sense in regard to the question, but he didn’t care. No. <em>No.</em> No, this is what Roman had been trying to do all along. He was trying to get close to Virgil just to find out what was wrong with him. The police- the police must have something to do with it. <em>Do they suspect me of being the killer, even after connecting it to the other cases? What does Roman want from me?</em></p><p>As Roman opened his mouth to reply, a human suddenly skirted out from behind a rock and vaulted forward at him. Virgil’s eyes widened and before he could even spit out a warning, he’d surged up and sliced one of the human’s arms off with one single stroke of his butcher’s knife. Roman stumbled away from them, his eyes wide as Virgil slashed at the human’s throat with his smaller knife. The human crumpled to the ground, its arm laying about a foot away. With that, chattering of voices began to speak from behind the rocks standing throughout the cavern, and humans began pouring like ants towards them.</p><p>“Get behind me!” Virgil yelled at the others, clutching his knives with a steel grip. That ferocious fighting spirit had returned from earlier, from before Patton’s test. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins and his whole body was shaking. He was ready to fight. The others didn’t have any weapons to defend themselves with- they’d just get in the way. <em>If I let any of them die, I won’t be able to save Dante!</em> Roman, Logan, and Patton crowded in front of the door, picking up large stones for self-defense.</p><p>The first human lunged for Virgil, but he grabbed her hand and flipped her to the ground. <em>Crack!</em> The human screamed and tried to latch onto Virgil’s foot, but Virgil stomped on its throat, effectively crushing it. As another one lumbered towards him with its arms outstretched like a zombie, he threw his smaller knife with perfect aim and it stuck square into the human’s forehead. When Virgil ripped it out, brains seeped out from the small hole in its head and it collapsed. <em>Ha, I’m doing great! This will be easy- I’ll kill all of these-</em></p><p>Two humans tackled him as he felt triumph flood through him, and they landed in a heap on the ground. <em>Shit, no no no no no, get off me get away get away!</em> Virgil kicked out at one of them, trying to stand back up, but they were pinning him down. He screamed out, “<em>Let me go</em>, <em>let me go</em>!” His tactical moves dissolved into weak, flimsy flailing as he became more and more desperate. There was a human standing above him, their wicked smile beaming down at him. <em>They’re going to rape me,</em> Virgil thought numbly, and tears began to dwell in his eyes. “Please, please, let me go, let me go, leave me alone, let me go.” He dissolved into pitiful sobs.</p><p>Then, as if in slow-motion, a fist crashed into the human’s face and they went flying. The fist belonged to Roman, who had a look of sheer fury on his face. “<em>Get away from him</em>!” he roared, snatching up one of Virgil’s dropped knives and stabbing it into the shoulder of one of the humans holding Virgil down. Logan yanked the other human away, leaving Virgil free to move again. Virgil stood up shakily and Patton tried to guide him away. “Come on, they’ll handle it! We need to hide!”</p><p>“No!” Virgil objected, bending down to take the butcher knife. “You hide, I’m helping them. I’m the only one that can fight.” Abandoning a frightened Patton, Virgil went head-first back into the fray. <em>No way am I letting Roman take all the glory!</em></p><p>There were about six more humans to kill. Roman was smashing one of their heads in on a wall while Logan was getting tripped by grounded human. <em>Better help Logan.</em> Virgil swept over and plunged his knife straight into the human’s back, ripping it down through its entire mid-riff. It let out a howl and released Logan’s ankle. Logan stood back up; his glasses were smashed from landing face-first on the ground. “Thank you. You’re much better at this than I am.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Virgil muttered as he shoved Logan aside to slice an oncoming human’s chest. Blood seeped from the human’s wound and it clutched out it, whimpering. Not even pausing to wonder if his next move would even work, Virgil swung his butcher knife forward and with a <em>shunk!</em> it stuck halfway through the human’s neck, unable to completely behead it. The human crumpled, dragging Virgil and the butcher knife with it. As it laid dying, Virgil pried his weapon away and glanced around. About a good fifteen feet away, Roman had taken care of two of the humans. There was one left- but where had it gone?</p><p>The <em>thunk!</em> and inferno of pain that exploded through Virgil’s stomach gave him the answer. He slowly looked down at the knife poking out of his stomach. He could feel it twisting inside him, all the way from his back. There was hissing in his ears- or was that the roaring of blood? Virgil felt his legs give up from underneath him and he fell to the floor, the impact causing the knife to shift, and he screamed as the pain finally registered into his brain. There was a loud <em>snap!</em> and the human’s body collapsed beside him, its neck twisted. Someone was lifting him, crying out to him, <em>his voice was so dull.</em> Virgil opened his eyes, staring up at the face above his own. <em>Roman…</em> He could feel his life slipping away from him as blood soaked into his clothes. This was how he was going to die. <em>I’ve spent my entire life fighting other people… that’s not how I’m gonna end it.</em> Weakly and painfully reaching up with a hand, Virgil grasped Roman’s chin and gave him a breeze of a kiss. “Take care of Dante…” Virgil whispered against Roman’s lips.</p><p>Faintly, Patton yelled, “The doors are opening, come on!” Then Virgil drifted into darkness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roman tries to convince the others to abandon him, and someone gets punched.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Roman:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>By the time they made it through the door of white light, Virgil had passed out from blood loss. Roman was holding his body bridal style, too worried to even think about the small kiss they had just shared. <em>Please, please, don’t let him die. He can’t die. I can’t have let another person die. I can’t lose another man I love.</em></p><p>Waking up felt extremely weird. The weight of Virgil evaporated, and Roman felt the sensation of the same hands that had pulled him into the dream letting him go, letting him soar high into the void sky. The higher Roman flew, the more his consciousness faded, until with a jerk he was wide awake in the test room. The computer was humming beside them- humming quite loudly, as if it was running hard. Logan and Patton were already awake, but Virgil’s helmet was still on and his eyes were squeezed shut, his breathing faint. Roman took his hand and clutched it tightly. “Virgil, wake up,” he pleaded. All thoughts of self-punishment were out the window; all that mattered right now was Virgil. <em>Just because I like him doesn’t mean he deserves to die.</em></p><p>Suddenly, the helmet popped off and Virgil’s eyes flew open. He gasped for air, his free hand jerking to where the knife had been stuck in the dream. Patting it a few times and apparently satisfied that he wasn’t injured anymore, his eyes flickered to his hand that was being held by Roman’s. Their gazes met and they didn’t say a word. <em>What is he thinking right now? Does he… does he want to try and be with me? Or is he too scared?</em></p><p>“Oh my gosh!” Patton gasped, a smile appearing on his face as he looked at them. “Are you two a couple now?” Logan leaned forward a bit to see what Patton was talking about and he blinked a few times before nodding, “Ah, yes. It appears so. Holding hands is a romantic gesture, is it not?”</p><p>“We’re not a couple!” Virgil snatched his hand away from Roman, his cheeks dusting with a tint of pink but a scowl morphing his features. “It doesn’t even matter. We need to focus on getting Roman’s stupid test done. Obviously, if we make it out of the test while we’re still alive we won’t die out here, even if we’re about to die.” <em>I guess we’re not together…</em> A piece of Roman seemed to break and he berated himself internally. <em>Of course we’re not. Nobody would want to love me. I’m a monster. I’ve hurt too many people. I’m unforgiveable.</em></p><p><em>Wait… my test is next.</em> With a feeling of growing alarm, Roman realized just what that meant. <em>They’re going to find out everything I’ve done- Patton and Virgil will, I mean. Logan probably knows every little thing about me. What will they think, though? Will they hate me for being the brother of the man who murdered their friends? Who kidnapped their loved ones?</em> No, they couldn’t find out. If Virgil knew they were related, he’d never want to speak to Roman again. <em>He hates Remus, so he should hate me more.</em></p><p>Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t Roman just do his test alone? <em>Alone! That’s it! I’ll convince them to let me do it by myself.</em> And if Roman died? Well… it just meant there would be one less monster in the world. <em>I have to convince them. But how? I’m sure they would leave me behind if they knew who I was, but that would defeat the whole purpose. Urgh, I don’t know! </em>He would just have to take a chance.</p><p>As the others got up and started heading towards the door, Roman cleared his throat and stood up straight. They all looked back at him and he could feel his throat start to choke up. <em>I have to do this. I have to do this.</em> He kept his head up and spoke clearly. “Guys, I think it would be better for me to do my test alone. I have no idea what it may be for sure, but I have a few ideas and… they’re not good. I don’t want to risk you guys dying. We almost died in Virgil’s dream, and I get the feeling that mine is going to be even more dangerous. If I go by myself, I can do the test and get out before I get killed. It just makes sense. Please, let me do this alone.”</p><p>Immediately, Virgil rolled his eyes. “Come on, Roman. We’re doing this. You really think we’re gonna let you do that test by yourself? You do realize that Logan would’ve died without Patton, and Patton would’ve been stuck in the dream forever without me? I would be dead without <em>you</em>. There’s no way we’re letting you go in alone, because if we do, you’ll die. And none of us are dying. We can’t give the killer that victory. You guys forced me to do my test, so Roman, we’re forcing you to take us with you. To be honest, you can’t really stop us.” He smiled a little at his strong objection and Roman nearly died inside. <em>Oh my gosh, he is </em>beautiful<em>. </em>That radiant smile was <em>everything</em>, even though it was tiny. Virgil cared about Roman enough to fight against Roman’s plan. Roman’s heart was beating fast and he hoped he wasn’t blushing. Sighing, he gave a nod. <em>They’re going to see everything. But don’t I deserve that? I deserve to be abandoned by them. I deserve to be scorned for my crimes.</em> And yet… there was this new part of him that didn’t want that, and it was loud. <em>No! I’ve suffered enough! I want Virgil to like me back!</em></p><p>Logan adjusted his glasses, “We really should be going. I would rather finish all the tests sooner than later, and I’m sure all of you want the same thing.” Turning on his heels, he went over to the door and held it open. <em>Is he in a rush or is he just being his usual self?</em> They all went through the door, Logan following just behind. The door shut by itself with a loud <em>clack!</em>, and they were now off. <em>I hate everything about this place.</em></p><p>For a while, they remained silent. The identical hallways were making them all a little restless, though, and after a few minutes Patton spoke up. “Virgil, you were amazing in the test! You were fighting off those people so well. How did you get so good at fighting like that? You’re like a superhero or something!”</p><p>“Practice,” Virgil shrugged. Roman noticed that his demeanor had changed. He seemed a lot more relaxed around them than when they’d all first met, his tense posture and darting eyes more friendly now. That small smile was even still there. “For the past month I’ve been training nonstop. I didn’t know what I would find here, so I wanted to be prepared in case things got out of hand. Turns out I was smart. Did none of you think to do that? I mean, seriously, you get invited by a serial killer to some random address and you don’t think to learn some self-defense?”</p><p><em>I don’t want to hurt Remus, and I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere near a weapon.</em> Roman huffed dramatically, “Well, some of us have other things to do beside becoming a ninja. Acting is a difficult business.” <em>So is staying at a mental hospital for four months.</em> This place reminded him too much of the place he’d been staying at, and he hated it. <em>What will Virgil think of me once he finds out they had to keep me there for so long? That I was there even yesterday? That I murdered someone to get there?</em> He shook these thoughts from his head. <em>A lot of people go to mental hospitals, I’m not the only one. People still love them when they come back out into society.</em></p><p>Patton opened his mouth to stay something, closed it, and then decided to speak anyways. “I- I almost brought a knife with me, but I- I didn’t know where to carry it.” <em>Oh, the knife he had in the bathroom.</em> The knife that was in Roman’s pocket right now. How was he going to explain to Patton that he’d kept it when they eventually got out of this place? <em>That I kept it so I could give it to him later when he wasn’t going to self-harm?</em> Hmmm… that was a good excuse. The cuts on his arms seemed to burn with guilt and he resisted the strong urge to scratch at them. <em>That’ll make it obvious. Oh gosh, what exactly is the test going to show them? </em>He thought about Virgil’s test, but he was still clueless as to what had happened to Virgil. <em>When they pinned him down, he started screaming and crying. Maybe it has something to do with that? </em>A disturbing thought entered his head and he quickly dismissed it. <em>If that’s the case, then I should let him talk about it in his own time. I know I wouldn’t want to tell anyone what Remus does to me ever.</em></p><p>“Unfortunately,” Logan pitched into the conversation, “Without my limbic system, I do not have any reflexes. So, even with a weapon, I am mostly unable to be an effective fighter. So, you’ll just have to protect all of us, Virgil. I doubt you’ll have any problems with that, unless we end up in another instance like the one in the test. Speaking of the test, if I may say so, I felt like the test lacked something. It was simply an area we had to get through to reach the exit, and then the doors opened when we defeated the humans. Am I missing something? Was the test really that simple, or was there something hidden underneath?”</p><p>Virgil’s eyes flickered over to Roman. They both knew what had caused the doors to open, but neither of them wanted to say what it was. Saying it would make it true. Roman knew that saying it would make Virgil even more afraid. <em>Virgil kissed</em> me<em>, not the other way around. Twice! He likes me, but he doesn’t want to make it real. And I don’t deserve to have it be real, as much as I want it. But are we really going to pass up this chance together because we’re both scared of what will happen?</em> Finally returning his eyes to the ground, Virgil mumbled, “I don’t know.”</p><p>“What if,” Patton suddenly brightened, “It was because you went back to fight with Roman and Logan? I tried to get you to hide with me, but you said that you had to help them! The door said that only the fearless could get through. Virgil, you were fearless to go and save them! That’s what must’ve activated the door! You have anthropophobia and yet you still risked your own life to rescue them!” Looking proud of himself for figuring such a thing out, Patton started skipping a little. <em>Huh… maybe the kiss wasn’t what opened the door, then? Or maybe it was both?</em> Virgil let out a quiet, “huh”, but didn’t say anything else about it. Logan nodded, “That is a brilliant idea, Patton. It makes much more sense now, thank you.”</p><p>His face tinting pink slightly, Patton glanced over his shoulder at Logan. “N-No problem!” He seemed quite happy at the moment. <em>I wish I could feel as giddy as him.</em> But with everything that was going on and everything that had happened with Remus over the years, Roman doubted he ever would feel that way. <em>I’ve never felt that way- not once. I’ve always been too selfish to take pleasure in the things I </em>do<em> have. All I ever expect is to be given more. More, more, more, and more. I never care about the fact that nobody has anything left to give.</em></p><p>They way down to the second floor didn’t take that long. They descended the stairs quickly and made their way across the last remaining bit of the second floor. Patton continued to chatter on and on about nothing; theories about what this all was for, wonderings about why Remus was chosen to help. <em>Why</em> was<em> he chosen to help?</em> The gears turned in Roman’s head as he began to think harder about this. <em>J. S. obviously hired Remus to kill those people, but how did they meet? </em>When<em> did they meet? Who is J. S.?</em> He didn’t bother asking Patton or Logan for his name; he doubted they knew it anyways. <em>I’ve never met anyone with the initials J. S… so either I just don’t know him, or he went by an alias. Who do I know that could be an evil mastermind?</em></p><p>“Alright,” Logan stopped and pointed to the door in front of him. “This is it. Are you ready, Roman?” He raised an eyebrow at Roman, silently communicating a question. <em>Are you sure you’ll be able to do this?</em> Logan knew exactly what this test was going to involve: Remus. Roman took a slow and shaky breath before nodding, approaching the door and turning the knob himself. “Let’s go. We don’t have time to waste.”</p><p>The four of them went through the now open doorway and halted in their places.</p><p>“Why, hello there!” Remus giggled. He was strewn out across a long picnic table, an apple with a few bites out of it in his hand. Taking another bite from it, Remus sat up and put his feet on the chair adjacent to the table. “I’ve been waiting for you!” he said through a mouthful of apple. “Seriously, Virgil, you couldn’t have taken your test a tad quicker? I thought you wanted to save poor little Dante! Guess I was wrong. Oh!” Tossing the apple behind he, Remus ran up to Roman and gave him a big hug. All alarms went off in Roman’s head- <em>Remus never hugs me</em>- and he shoved Remus away. Remus simply laughed, “It’s really been too long! I’ve missed you, Roman~”</p><p>“Fuck off,” was the first thing that came to Roman’s mind, and he accidentally said it out loud. <em>Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, I just said that to Remus. I just said that. He’s going to kill me, he’s going to punish me. The others are going to know that we’re brothers now.</em> After a couple moments of silence, Remus smirked and waggled his eyebrows. “If it means you’ll be watching, then I’ll gladly do it, heehee~!”</p><p>Virgil suddenly cut in, “Roman, is this murderer your <em>boyfriend</em>?” Roman looked over at Virgil. His eyes were filled with insane fury and his hands were clenched into fists. It all was evidence for one thing; <em>he will hate me for being associated with Remus.</em> Glaring at Remus, Roman shook his head. “No, of course not. I’d never want to date him. Never in a thousand years.” <em>Because he’s my brother. Because he’s abused me. Because of everything else that he’s done to me.</em> This want to fight Remus was so new. Before, Roman had wanted to bow down to his brother’s every whim, but now he wanted to stand up for himself. <em>I want to be with Virgil!</em> For the first time, Roman had something he really cared about, and he wasn’t about to give it up for nothing.</p><p>“What’s this new fight in you, Roman?” Remus mocked a gasp. “Who knew you could actually stand up for yourself? You used to be so obedient. I kinda miss that, but those confident vibes are much more attractive~” He reached forward to touch Roman’s cheek, and Roman slapped the hand away. “Don’t touch me,” Roman narrowed his eyes. It wasn’t wrong to object. <em>Remus killed so many people, so he doesn’t get this privilege anymore.</em> “What the fuck are you doing here, anyways? Did J. S. send you to kill us or what?”</p><p>Shrugging, Remus turned and started to make his way over to the five chairs in the corner of the room. <em>Wait, five chairs? But there’s only four of us.</em> “Of course he didn’t! J doesn’t want any of you dead. The whole death threat stuff is because he wants you to believe that the tests’ outcomes are important- which they are. Obviously, he <em>would</em> carry out those threats, but they’re just there to push you. Whether they’ll push you to victory or push you over the edge, he doesn’t know!” Remus grinned that eerie grin of his. “Anyways, J wants me to join in on your fun little test, Ro-Ro! Apparently, I’m too important to you to be excluded. Isn’t that something? This whole angry façade you’re pulling right now is just that; a façade! You love me like you should, and I matter more to you than anyone else.”</p><p>Patton touched Roman’s arm lightly. “Roman,” he whispered quietly, “Is he an ex of yours?’</p><p><em>Why is this happening to me? This is the worst thing that could’ve happened. Remus is ruining everything. Why can’t I just die? Why does this have to be happening to me?</em> “No,” he muttered and quickly went over to the chairs. He sat down and glared at Remus. “Let’s just get this over with.” Remus laughed a little, but his happy face was wiped away when Virgil’s fist connected with it. <em>Crack!</em> Remus stumbled backwards into a table and held a hand to his face- the hand that was missing a finger. His nose was bleeding and he looked at Virgil, impressed. Virgil’s fists were clenched, his body tense, and his breath coming in rapid bursts. “Don’t fucking talk to Roman like that again, you piece of shit,” he hissed. Remus didn’t say anything, and everyone took their spots, lowering their helmets and feeling something choke them into darkness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roman's test... Part 1</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>R</em>
  </strong>
  <strong>
    <em>oman:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>The chokehold loosened and as oxygen returned to his lungs, Roman’s vision returned. The dark edges of his eyesight faded, and he blinked a few times to take in their new environment. The four of them were in a large hall made of wood and stone. Marble pillars stretched up high, holding the roof above them, two parallel lines towards a large throne made of wood. A velvet carpet stretched from the insanely tall wooden double doors to the same throne. The room was even larger than that; with large dining tables on either side of the pillars, and doors that most likely branched off to other places in the building. The thing that caught their eyes, though, was not the majesty of this palace, but the hundreds of dead bodies that were piled around them.</p><p>The bodies had been mutilated beyond recognition. Their organs were on display, and their mouths were open in cut-off screams. Limbs lay scattered about, along with weapons made of steel that glimmered in the light of the torches that lined the walls. <em>What… what happened here? What is this place?</em> It looked like a medieval palace, but how was that possible? There weren’t any places like this in real life, not in 2020. And why were all these people dead here? Who had slayed them? What kind of evil person had done such a thing? <em>Remus?</em> Wait- where was Remus? Roman looked over his companions- Virgil, Logan, and Patton. <em>Remus isn’t with us. But he said he was going to be in the test with us- did he get here before us, kill these people, and run?</em> <em>Or did he lie about joining us?</em> Whatever the case, Remus had certainly lied about what exactly was going to happen.</p><p>“Wow,” Virgil said. He kicked at a steel sword hilt, sending it clattering away. “Looks like there was a massacre. The killer probably caused it.” Bending down, he drew one a knife from his right boot. <em>I wonder why he still calls Remus “the killer”? He knows his name…</em> Logan adjusted his glasses and shook his head, “No. Not even Remus could kill this many people- nobody could. Not at once, of course. They would overcome him easily with this great a number. It must’ve been a group of fighters, or an army. Either they were defending this palace or they were attacking it, in which case, they obviously succeeded. It is interesting that where we are standing is completely clear of any bodies. And why are we here of all places? I certainly do not remember coming here.”</p><p>“Guys!” Patton carefully made his way through the mess of dead bodies and to the wooden doors. “Look! There isn’t a sign. Maybe Roman’s test is really easy to solve!” He grasped the handles of the doors and pulled them open using all of his might, grunting with the effort as they creaked wide and sunlight poured in.</p><p>A man was standing just behind them, on the stone steps that led out into a beautiful stone-cobbled courtyard. He was wearing brown pants and a beige shirt, with worn shoes that looked as if they’d been used for too many years. He had a balding head of brown hair, with dull gray eyes shining with delight. “Ah! You have finished dealing with the enemy! Congratulations, my good sires! The people will be so pleased to hear you have been successful from protecting them from the invaders!” Hesitating, he cleared his throat. “Sir Patton, if you could step aside so I may take you all to the Royal Balcony?”</p><p>“Uh- yeah!” Patton seemed surprised to be called ‘Sir’ but moved out of the way. The man breezed past him and made his way over to one of the other doors. “Come along, my lieges! The people are awaiting to hear the news! Oh, and Prince Roman, let me guess- you were the greatest fighter of them all! I’m sure you relished in their screams and begging for mercy. What a brave soul you are, your Royal Highness!”</p><p><em>Prince Roman…</em> The mystery of the massacre clicked into place. <em>We murdered all these people. We killed them all. </em>I<em> killed them. I’m a killer, just like Remus.</em> But he didn’t remember killing anyone. How could he have forgotten such a terrible thing? <em>I’m so sorry, all of you. I didn’t mean to kill you. I didn’t want this. I never wanted to hurt anyone.</em> And yet, that’s all he ever did. <em>Remus, Valerie, Terrence, Laila- they all suffered because of my actions. If only I hadn’t been there- if only things had happened differently.</em></p><p>The man led them through the palace. Drapery hanged from the walls with the symbol of a lion drenched with blood on them. In fact, there was even blood and flesh bits on the floor- once in a while they passed a mauled body. As they began to mount a large staircase, Roman wondered what this test was supposed to be for. <em>None of this makes any sense. Where am I supposed to go? The exit of the castle wasn’t the way out. Is there some other door somewhere that we’re supposed to use? But where could it be? This place is huge!</em> He still wasn’t sure if this was a palace or a castle, but he was starting to think it was the latter from all the stone walls. Finally, the man halted in front of a door and smiled brightly at the four of them. “Alright! Prince Roman, you go first.”</p><p>Roman nodded, a feeling of dread building in him. He pushed the door open and went out.</p><p>A roar of cheers and clapping greeted him. As he took the last few steps to bring him to the railing of the balcony, people began chanting his name. <em>“Prince Roman! Prince Roman!”</em> There were <em>thousands</em> of them in the courtyard that had been empty only minutes before. They were all in medieval attire like the other man. Guards were among the peasants, waving their weapons in the air above them as they howled their support. There were <em>so many of them</em>. And they were all screaming his name and a title he had never had before. Virgil, Patton, and Logan all came out behind them, and although people started shouting for them, most of the attention was going to Roman. The man who’d brought them to the balcony came forward. In his hands was now a large golden crown, studded with diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and jades. “People of Logres! Your prince and his companions have defeated the invaders, thus destroying the remaining enemies that stand in our way of taking over the world. He has broken his evil twin and protected his throne! We will conquer, and we will kill everyone who denies us our right! We will follow in our prince’s example! We will be his lion, and he will be our champion. He will be… our king!” Reaching up, the man placed the crown carefully on Roman’s head. “Welcome your new king, King Roman!”</p><p>
  <em>“King Roman! King Roman! King Roman! King Roman!”</em>
</p><p>If it hadn’t been for Virgil’s hand snaking to grasp his own, Roman would’ve jumped off the balcony to his death.</p><p>Ripping his hand from Virgil’s, Roman took off running. He couldn’t listen to it anymore. Those people were worshipping him, a <em>murderer</em>. They were following his lead, they were willing to become killers too, just to please him. <em>Nobody should worship me.</em> At some point, his clothes had morphed into medieval attire too; a long red cloak flapped behind him as he sprinted through hallways, his chainmail loudly clashing together. Bodies were everywhere, and Roman felt sick. Bile was rising in his throat. He had to find a bathroom. Dully, he knew that medieval castles didn’t have those, but he was more focused on other things to care.</p><p>Eventually, Roman dived into the nearest room without a care if there was someone in there. There wasn’t, but there was a pot on a desk across the room. Running to it, Roman threw up the contents of his stomach into it and with a choke of relief, he slid to the ground and rested his head against the wall behind him. Before he could even think about what he was doing, he felt around to find a pocket in his new outfit and found one. Pulling out the pocketknife he’d snagged from Patton earlier, he rolled up his sleeves and began to slice at his arm with deep strokes.</p><p><em>Cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut endlessly.</em> There was lots of blood. Roman didn’t care. He wanted to skin his arm. He wanted to feel pain. He wanted to scream and cry and keep going. He wanted to make himself suffer for everything he’d ever done. The knife was getting dull. Ragged cuts were now the norm. Pieces of flesh chipped away. <em>I’m like a porcelain doll,</em> he thought numbly. His arm was on fire, but he <em>didn’t care.</em> <em>Keep going keep going keep going keep going keep going keep going keep going.</em> There were tears on his face. They tasted salty. <em>Where’s Remus? I want to apologize to him.</em> When was the last time Roman had apologized to someone? Too long ago. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered repeatedly.</p><p>A door creaked open. “Roman?” Virgil’s voice murmured quietly. Then, “Shit!” Someone ran over and bent next to Roman, snatching the knife away. Indeed, it was Virgil. Roman lifted his gaze to look at Virgil. Neither Logan nor Patton were with him. Virgil’s face was filled with worry and terror. “Jesus fucking Christ, Roman, you can’t go running off like that. Fucking thought you were going to jump off the balcony. Why are you cutting yourself? Not even fucking cutting yourself, chopping your arm off! What the fuck is going on, Roman?”</p><p>Roman didn’t know what made him speak. Maybe it was the desperation in Virgil’s deep brown eyes. Maybe it was his hands being held by his crush’s. Maybe it was the feeling that nothing mattered anymore. “I’ve been cutting for ten years,” he mumbled. Virgil’s eyes widened and he muttered to himself again, “Shit.” Then he did something Roman was not expecting.</p><p>Virgil leaned forward and hugged him.</p><p>It felt warm, like a fireplace that had been crackling for a while. Like Virgil had been keeping all this warmth and kindness to himself for all this time and now he was sharing it. With Virgil’s arms around Roman, clutching him, holding him closer than anyone ever had, Roman melted into it and began to sob. He lifted his sore arms and weakly hung onto Virgil, his body shaking as his tears soaked into the shoulder of Virgil’s jacket. <em>I have never been hugged before,</em> Roman realized with a slight shock- other than earlier with Remus. It felt… <em>incredible.</em> There was this unusual feeling of complete safety, knowing someone who cared about you was <em>there</em>. They were holding you and they were <em>protecting</em> you. “Th-thank you,” he managed to croak out. Virgil didn’t respond but tightened his grip. <em>Is this what it feels like for someone to care for you?</em> They didn’t move for a while. They simply sat there and held onto each other for this one shared moment. For this moment, Roman was letting someone care about him and it felt unbelievably relieving.</p><p>Eventually, Virgil pulled away from Roman, but he didn’t get up. They stayed on the floor together, silently enjoying one another’s company. Virgil traced some on the scars on Roman’s currently clean arm with his thumb and finally spoke. “Ten years… Jesus, that’s a while. Why are you doing this, Roman? Why are you hurting yourself like this?”</p><p>“It’s… complicated,” Roman looked away. <em>I have no idea what and what not to tell. I don’t know what this test is about. But I </em>do<em> know that I need to find Remus…</em> Wait- that guy had said Roman had “broken his evil twin.” <em>That’s </em>got<em> to be Remus. So, where could I find him? Locked up in a tower? …Or locked up in the dungeons?</em> “I don’t want you to hate me for the things I’ve done,” Roman admitted. Maybe this could be his final punishment: pushing Virgil away. Abandoning this love between them. Killing the part of him that had learned to care for someone else.</p><p>“Well,” Virgil shifted a bit, “I’ll hate you if you don’t tell me. So, there’s nothing to do but that. I may not like whatever you may have done but keeping it to yourself is obviously killing you. I’m not stupid, Roman. The killer said that you wanted to die earlier. I didn’t care then, but I do now. Please, just tell me what’s going on and I might be able to help you.”</p><p><em>He said he cares about me!</em> That butterfly feeling squirmed in Roman’s stomach. <em>Maybe… maybe he’s right. Maybe if I tell him, he’ll punish me too. Yeah, that’ll be good. That’ll be perfect.</em> He reluctantly pushed up onto his feet and extended a hand to Virgil. “Come on, then. This will be better if we have someone else to help me explain.” <em>It’s time to finally come clean. Someone else is going to know what I’ve done… it’s about time. Maybe he’ll turn me into jail. Maybe he’ll tell me that he hates me. Either way, I deserve whatever horrible things will come of this.</em></p><p>Virgil took his hand and Roman pulled him up. This was the first time that Roman really got a look at the room. It was a bedroom, and by the looks of it, for someone very important. There was a large king-sized canopy bed, with dark red drapery hanging down on all four sides. The desk was next to them, with a large mirror sitting on the back of it. There was an old, wooden room divider screen in a corner of the room, with clothes laid out over the top. “Whose room is this?” Roman asked, more to himself than to Virgil. Virgil responded anyways, “Probably for you, <em>King</em> Roman. You’re royalty now, your Royal Highness.” A snarky look on his face told Roman he was teasing, and he smiled. Virgil calling him ‘King’ felt different than the peasants calling him that. Roman rolled his eyes. “Save it, emo nightmare. I get the feeling you’re about to see that royalty doesn’t always get good living conditions, if my theory is correct.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Virgil frowned a little, but Roman didn’t answer him. Instead, Roman went over to the door, pulling Virgil along with him, and simply said, “Any idea which way the dungeons are?”</p><p>The stairs weren’t hard to find. They ominously descended into the darkness of underground, torches on the walls every hundred feet. Roman and Virgil exchanged glances and Roman took one of the wall torches, the flames trying to lick at his face and hands. With every step further down, Roman felt a cold feeling settle more deeply inside him. This was it. There was no turning back from telling Virgil everything now. <em>What if Remus isn’t down here? How are we supposed to find him? Did he actually come with us like he said he would?</em> Without knowing how they even got here, Roman didn’t know the answer to that. Virgil was still holding his hand, and it was giving him the determination he needed. <em>It’s time to end this.</em></p><p>Finally, the stairs leveled out into a long corridor. They passed cell after cell- all bloodstained, with rotting corpses still attached to their chains. They had to look at them, though- any one of the cells could contain Remus instead of a dead person. At the end of the hall, they halted as they came face-to-face with an extra-large cell. Peering through the dim light cast by his torch, Roman saw someone crouching in the corner of it. They were wearing a black outfit, with fluffy green padding on his shoulders and a green sash across their chest. The defining feature was the bit of dyed gray bangs. It was Remus.</p><p>“Remus?” Roman spoke up, clenching Virgil’s hand tightly. The figure stirred and lifted their head. Glittering amber eyes met Roman’s own. Remus then crawled forward and pulled himself up using the metal bars of his cell. “Oh, hello there, Roman! It’s so nice to have a visitor! And it seems you brought your new little friend- what, decided you’re finally good enough for someone? Because I could’ve warned you earlier that you’re not.”</p><p>“Virgil,” Roman ignored Remus, although the comment stung. “This is my twin brother, Remus. He suffers from ADHD, OCD, and most likely Autism. When we were young, my parents neglected me because they knew that Remus needed more attention and care than me. Being selfish, I started lashing out at Remus and our parents got me a therapist so I could deal with my anger issues. This therapist told me the best thing to do was to verbally abuse Remus to make myself feel better. For months, I abused and gaslighted him until one day he broke. He tried to sexually assault me, and I realized what I had done. That was the first night that I cut. The next day, I resigned from my therapy sessions and promised to do whatever Remus wanted for the rest of our lives to make up for the hurt I caused him. Even after all these years, after the sexual abuse, the mental abuse, the gaslighting, the cutting… I still haven’t been punished enough. During the Angelica Case, I murdered my friend because he murdered someone else in self-defense. I’ve <em>killed</em> someone, Virgil. And I caused Remus to become this.”</p><p>With a laugh, Remus sat on the hard, earthy ground. “To become what? Free? Free from those stupid moral boundaries that you normal people set yourself up with? Society is a lie that people tell themselves so they can sleep easy at night. You see, Virgil, my brother believes there is only good and there is only evil. You can’t be in the middle! Good people don’t make mistakes. He applies it to every, and most harshly to himself. I mean, the only reason why he finally decided to stand up to me and challenge my <em>evil</em> ways was because I killed a bunch of people. I wonder… what would have happened if he’d turned me into a mental hospital years ago? How many people would still be alive? Heehee, now <em>that’s</em> something to be guilty about! You could’ve saved <em>everyone</em>, Roman, but you hate yourself <em>so much</em> that you sacrificed everyone else just so you could punish yourself. That’s messed up!”</p><p><em>I…</em> Was that true? Or was Remus trying to get into his head? <em>Both.</em> If Roman had turned Remus over to some professionals, he could’ve been better by now. All of this could’ve been controlled. Nobody would’ve died. J. S. would’ve lost his serial killer minion. Everything… everything would be okay. <em>This is all my fault.</em> “I’m… I’m sorry,” Roman whispered. “I’m sorry, Remus. You could’ve been better by now. I don’t… I’m not…”</p><p>“<em>Shut up</em>!” Remus suddenly screamed. Both Roman’s and Virgil’s eyes widened in surprise. Remus put both his hands over his ears and started humming loudly. <em>That song is familiar.</em> Was that... <em>Build Me Up Buttercup</em>? Why that song? Where had Roman heard that song before? Remus smashed his head against a bar of his cell. “Stop apologizing! I’m tired of hearing it. You’re not sorry! I’m so sick of it. ‘I’m sorry, Remus, I’m sorry’- <em>I don’t fucking care</em>! Get out! I already hear the bad stuff a million times; I don’t need your stupid voice talking to me anymore. <em>Get out</em>!”</p><p>Virgil pulled at Roman’s hand. “Come on, let’s go. He doesn’t want to talk.” <em>What’s going on with Remus? I’ve never seen him like this before. I mean, the only time he’s gotten angry like that was back at the theatre. He told me to stop apologizing then, too… does it connect to this?</em> The two of them went back up the stairs, leaving a screaming serial killer behind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roman's test... Part 2</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Logan:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>On the second floor of the castle, Logan and Patton were in The Marvelous Library of a Thousand Books. At least, that was the title displayed on the entrance; Logan did not know if this was a correct estimate of the number of books in the library. Either way, the library was absolutely massive. If the Library of Alexandria was around anymore, this surely would’ve been what it looked like. Bookshelves towered high up to the ceiling, with wooden ladders stretching up beside them. It was exactly the place Logan had wanted to find.</p><p>After Roman had run off and Virgil went after him, Logan and Patton had decided to look around and had stumbled upon the library. When Patton had admitted he was a librarian, Logan had requested for him to help him find some books. The two had wandered through the impossibly large room and found every book Logan could want. There was no use going after Roman and Virgil; the castle was too large. Not only that, but Logan didn’t think him or Patton were needed to help Roman with the test. Roman’s relationship with Virgil seemed to be growing nicely. Logan was sure they would solve whatever they came across easily. There were more important things for him to do anyways.</p><p>The books Logan had picked out were all on the brain. Surprisingly, for such a medieval setting, there were lots of modern-day books on the subject. <em>To have a library this big, I doubt J. S. </em>wouldn’t<em> hide a clue in here for me to find.</em> Logan and Patton were now sitting down across from each other at a reading table, and Logan opened the first book to begin his research. Of course, his reading wasn’t going to be as straightforward. Patton put his chin on his hand and tilted his head, “What’s it like to work at a hospital?”</p><p>Without looking up from the book, Logan shrugged. “I suppose it’s like any other type of work. You go to your job, you do what you’ve been trained for, and then you return home. You organize books; I perform surgeries and analyze a patient’s symptoms. If they suffer from any brain-damaging diseases, I help them. I don’t know how exactly it would differ from a more regular job, as I’ve only worked as a doctor. Although, I do think it would be pleasant to work in a library. Books are powerful instruments for helping to understand the world around you. They contain such great knowledge and have taught me everything I know about human emotions. I would guess that being in a place like this for work wouldn’t be so much as work than rather enjoyment. Amongst books, you need not worry what others think of you or if you’re doing something wrong. You can simply lose yourself in a fictional world where people are normal, or at least, they do not share the same problems as you. Is what I’m saying making sense?”</p><p>Logan lifted his head. Patton was staring at him, his eyes sparkling behind his large glasses. Quickly, Patton sat up a little straighter and cleared his throat. “Oh, yeah! Definitely! That’s why I work at a library, haha! Reading makes me feel less lonely, because it feels like I’m traveling with the characters from the books. What kind of books do you enjoy?”</p><p>“Well,” Logan slowly shut the book he had started to read, “As a neurosurgeon and neurologist, I love any books about the brain. Psychology is also a great subject to research. Regarding fictional stories, I do enjoy mysteries and poetry, although I do read a lot of current contemporary literature to educate myself on what is acceptable in social situations. One of the most interesting books I’ve read is <em>Me and Earl and the Dying Girl</em>. As the main character does not actually care about the girl in his class dying of leukemia despite everyone telling him that he should, I find him relatable.”</p><p>The books on the table no longer held any interest. This was the first time anyone had ever listened to Logan talk about books, and it was an experience that he wanted to have. Patton was listening with wide eyes, a soft smile on his face. <em>He enjoys what I have to say.</em> This was so new. <em>Am I doing this right? Am I acting human enough for him?</em> Because that’s all that it was; acting. This was a conversation that two individual humans would have, that they would <em>enjoy</em> having. Logan, though, was a blank slate. He was not having a good time. He was not having a bad time, either, but he knew that Patton knew that this wasn’t real. Nothing about Logan was real.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Patton then asked, pulling Logan back into reality. It seemed that he had gone quiet for too long. Adjusting his glasses, he reopened his book. “Of course. I apologize if I was boring you, I have a tendency to do that.” Before he could start on the first paragraph, though, a hand covered the page. Patton’s hand. When Logan looked back up, Patton had leaned forward a little. A frown was now on his face. “No, I’m not bored. Logan, you’re really interesting. Please, keep telling me about yourself. I want to know more.”</p><p><em>Oh,</em> Logan blinked a couple times before nodding. “Alright, if you insist.”</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Roman:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Neither Roman nor Virgil spoke on their way back to Roman’s room. They put the torch back and walked through the still halls of the castle without so much as breathing on each other. Roman could feel Virgil staring at him, though. <em>He’s probably thinking of the best way to kill me.</em> Maybe with every step he took, Roman was walking closer to his death. <em>The moment we go into that room, he’s going to pull out his knives and butcher me alive. He’ll laugh when I beg him for mercy. He’ll tell me that he would never love me, that it’s impossible because no one can love me.</em></p><p>The door creaked open. Virgil didn’t move.</p><p>They went inside, Virgil shutting the door behind them. Roman went over to the desk to sit down on the chair in front of it but found something new sitting on the surface of the desk. It was a large plaque like the ones people stick deer heads on- except this one had a human head instead. Their dark skin had rotted into purple, their tongue lolling out, blood seeping from the clear slice that had once connected the head to a neck. Their hair had been shaved and their eyes were misted over. Beneath the head at the bottom of the plaque was a name carved in gold. <em>Terrence Williams Jr.</em></p><p>Panic swept through Roman’s body. <em>What? Who beheaded Terrence? But- why? Why would they behead Terrence? I killed him, I killed Terrence. What if it was me? What if I beheaded Terrence? I did it, didn’t I? Why did I do this?</em> With a scream, he picked up the plaque and threw it straight out the window. <em>CRASH!!</em> The window shattered into smithereens; the plaque was now gone forever. <em>Where’s the knife?</em> There it was, on the ground. Before he could snatch it, though, Virgil grabbed his arms. “Whoa, Roman! Roman, calm down! Calm down, it’s okay! Breathe. Hey, sit down, come on, sit down.” Virgil guided him to the bed and moved the drapery so they could sit. Roman’s breath was coming fast. There wasn’t enough air for him to breathe. Tears flooded down his face as he clutched at his chest, gasping. <em>I caused all of this; this is all my fault. Everything that has happened is because I wasn’t kind to Remus like I should’ve been I’m so selfish I deserve to be dissected alive Remus should rape me then maybe the punishment would be over no it will never be over because I’m evil and I deserve to burn in hell for eternity and I want Virgil to tell me he hates me because I caused Dante to get taken away from him-</em></p><p>“Roman, <em>listen to me</em>. Breathe in for four seconds. Four seconds. Breathe, Roman.”</p><p>Hands were clutching his own, tightening around his fingers. Someone was whispering to him, gently but firmly. This person was safe- their voice familiar, their touch reassuring. Roman took in a shivering breath, only making it to two seconds before exhaling quickly. “You’re doing great. Do it again. Breathe in for four and hold for seven. Do you hear me? Hold your breath for seven seconds.” Slowly, Roman’s breathing began to calm down. The adrenaline and panic started fading. Of course, the tears kept coming. That horror still lingered; <em>that had been Terrence’s head.</em> Memories of their fight were flashing before his eyes and the guilt was crushing him.</p><p>“Hey,” one of the hands moved up to caress Roman’s face, the thumb wiping away a few tears. Virgil softly turned Roman’s head so their eyes met. “Don’t cry. You’re okay right now, and that’s what matters. Whoever’s head that was is gone now. You don’t have to look at it again. You’re here with me. And maybe you don’t think you’re deserving of someone being here for you, but I don’t care. Because you <em>do</em>. I don’t know how long it’ll take to make you see that, but we’ve got all the time in the world because we literally can’t leave this place until you do.”</p><p>Oh, those <em>eyes</em>. The way Virgil’s purple bangs hid them, the way that they still sparkled through them. The chipped purple nail polish on his fingers, the safe feeling of his hand on Roman’s cheek. <em>He’s so beautiful…</em> How could someone like this care about him? <em>Maybe I’m just assuming things- he said we weren’t a couple earlier, and he obviously didn’t want to talk about that kiss. If he knew all the details about what I did, he wouldn’t even consider liking me.</em> “You don’t know everything I did,” Roman choked out. Inside, his heart was breaking. Because this- <em>this</em> wasn’t something he could have. “I said terrible things to Remus. I drove him insane.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Virgil huffed. “You’ve spent the entire past fucking decade being his slave. I don’t want to even think about what kind of things he did to you. Roman, you have to realize that yeah, you messed up, but there’s a line that needs to be drawn. You got your due punishment a long time ago. You can make mistakes and still be a good person. People don’t fall into easily separated categories. So, just shut up. Shut up. After everything that you’ve gone through, you deserve a fucking saint to give you everything good in the world.” He paused for a moment and then continued. “It scares me that you killed Terrence. But I’m sure there’s more to the story than just that. We’ve only known each other for what, six hours? Seven? I can tell that you’re a good person, Roman. I… I wouldn’t like you if you were a bad person. And you know what? I’m willing to risk getting hurt again because you deserve that.”</p><p>Roman saw it coming but didn’t move away. Virgil grasped at Roman’s shirt and pulled him closer, connecting their lips for the third time. Except, unlike the other two times, when Roman kissed back Virgil didn’t move away. Virgil’s other hand slipped up to Roman’s neck, and Roman rested his hands on Virgil’s shoulders. <em>This</em> is what he’d wanted for so long, and oh God was it <em>amazing</em>. This was everything he’d yearned for and <em>more</em>.</p><p>Both of them were desperate. Roman knew that for sure. Unlike the other two kisses- soft, short, nothing- this was passionate. This was them giving into the feelings they’d tried to push down. No, not just giving in, diving in headfirst. They’d accepted that it was impossible to ignore their attractions and now this was happening. <em>Someone is kissing me. </em>Virgil<em> is kissing me.</em> The only person Roman had ever kissed before was Remus, and that wasn’t exactly willingly. While Remus kissed roughly and always tried to force Roman into submission, this kiss was more cooperative. Although Virgil had most of the control, he wasn’t ordering him to do anything. Roman was free. His hands reached up into Virgil’s purple hair, grasping onto anything stable. There were so many feelings flooding through him, but his thoughts were fading as all he could concentrate on was Virgil’s lips against his.</p><p>When they broke apart, they were both panting, much-needed air refilling their lungs. Roman took a good look at Virgil. Virgil’s hair was a mess, sticking up in certain spots. His jacket had fallen off his shoulders and was now hanging on from his arms. There was a new glow in his eyes, sparkling and excited. <em>Why couldn’t we have done this sooner?</em> Roman tilted his head slightly, “Why did you not want to be with me? When Patton asked us if we were a couple, you said we weren’t and avoided me.”</p><p>That excited look waned a bit, but Virgil didn’t hesitate when he spoke. “Well, you know I have anthropophobia. The reason why is because when I was fourteen, your brother, Remus, raped me. I didn’t know who he was at the time, but at the art gallery I recognized his voice. I’m pretty sure he also murdered my dad. Either it was him or it was J. S., and one of those two is a known serial killer. So, when I realized I liked you, I tried to stay away from you so I wouldn’t get tempted to do anything dangerous. Of course, that was harder than I’d thought it would be. But by now I think you know that I’m pretty stubborn.”</p><p>“So, why are you doing this now?”</p><p>“Because I’m tired of being scared. If I can feel safe with Dante, then I can feel safe with you. And I do, mostly. As I said earlier, it does kinda freak me out that you killed that other guy, but I know you right now. You wouldn’t do that to me.” He leaned forward again and-</p><p>Suddenly, the door to the bedroom crashed open. Screaming people overflowed into the room, chanting- what were they chanting? <em>“King Roman must die! King Roman must die!”</em> An old woman pointed to the bed. “There he is! It is time we punish you for your crimes! You have killed and hurt thousands of people, and we’re going to make you pay for what you’ve done! Burn him! Burn him!” <em>“Burn him! Burn him!”</em> There were so many of them, pouring in, holding out in the hallway. All these people wanted Roman dead. <em>What should we do? They might hurt Virgil if I don’t surrender myself.</em></p><p>Now was the choice. Would Roman let himself die, or would he fight to survive?</p><p>
  <em>If I don’t deserve any more punishment, maybe I can finally give myself peace.</em>
</p><p>The decision wasn’t his, though. Virgil ripped off the drapery of the canopy bed and stepped off the mattress, pulling out his knives. A grin appeared on his face and he took in a deep breath. “If any one of you come anywhere near Roman, I’ll kill you myself. We’ll see how you like that! No, I’ll kill every single one of you!” He raised an eyebrow, waiting. The old lady opened her mouth to speak as she moved forward and was cut off- literally. Virgil instantly swung his smaller knife and slit her throat. Blood seeped out of her neck and she collapsed on the floor.</p><p>All hell broke loose.</p><p>Roman watched from the bed as Virgil massacred every one of them. It seemed that since these people were curated to hurt Roman with words, Virgil’s physical abilities could sweep through them easily. He cut off heads, he sliced open stomachs, blood splattering all over him, the floor, the walls, and the ceiling. All of that disgusting grime made Roman feel sick, but he couldn’t look away. Virgil leapt around, letting out a war cry, slaughtering everyone. And when everything was finished and the floor was stacked with the dead, he let his knives slip from his hands and land with loud, matching <em>clang!</em>s. He crawled back onto the bed and laid down beside Roman, hugging Roman’s arm close to his chest.</p><p>“I love you,” Virgil whispered. “I love every part of you.” And Roman believed him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roman's test... Part- wait, Remus's test?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Roman:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>They laid there on that bed together for an amount of time that seemed like an eternity.</p><p>Neither of them wanted to leave. Although there were bodies, blood, and flesh scattered across the entire room, the bed was completely clean. Although Virgil had blood on his clothes, hands, and face, Roman still held him close. Neither of them wanted to leave because that meant they had to continue on with their lives. It wouldn’t just be them and their love, whispering reassurances and feelings so quietly that only the other could hear just barely. They murmured secrets and little things they had never told anyone before. Not because they wanted them hidden, but because there had never been anyone to share them with. If they left, they would have to face J. S. and the rest of the world, their fears and the mistakes they’d made. So, they stayed, sharing innocent kisses and little things about themselves. And if Roman hadn’t been in love before, he was now drowning in it. Or perhaps drowning wasn’t the correct word, because people try to resist drowning. Roman was letting himself sink without lifting a finger to fight against it.</p><p>But eternities must end eventually, despite what everyone says. Their time was cut short when the door creaked open and Logan peeked in, kicking a body out of the way of the door. He pushed the door wider and entered, Patton just behind him. “I believe we’ve found them,” he adjusted his glasses and nodded to the bed. Virgil sat up, still holding one of Roman’s hands. “You guys finally decided to show up. You wouldn’t believe how easy it was to kill all these people.”</p><p>Patton stared at the two of them, his eyes flickering between them. “Um. Were you two, uh, about to um. Do something private? Because we can leave. Sorry we came in so suddenly!”</p><p>Both Roman and Virgil’s faces darkened with blushes and Roman spluttered out, “O-Of course not! We were just talking! Jesus, Patton, you’ve accepted being gay for only a few hours and you’re already thinking like <em>that</em>!” This, in turn, obviously embarrassed Patton. Patton covered his face with his hands, “Oh gosh, you’re right! I-I’m so sorry!”</p><p>Meanwhile, Logan was confused. His eyebrows were furrowed and he opened and shut his mouth in multiple attempts to speak before finally saying, “Have you finished your test, and if so, why have we not returned to the mental hospital?”</p><p><em>That’s… actually concerning.</em> Roman had the feeling that this test was different from the others. There was no obvious door with a sign to go through, and Roman felt as if his test was done. Virgil had proven that someone could still love him, after knowing about the things in his past. <em>Virgil</em>, who was sitting next to him, was living, breathing evidence that Roman was worth something. And if Virgil said that Roman had deserved forgiveness since long ago, who was Roman to deny that? “I don’t know.” He sat up too, thankful for Virgil’s hand softly holding his own. He couldn’t resist one last glance at Virgil and found himself smiling. Although their moment was over, they would have another. That was one thing he could be certain of. They wouldn’t separate after these tests; they had something that would transcend time itself. “But I’m pretty sure my test is over. Did you guys see a weird door with a sign while you were looking for us?”</p><p>“Unfortunately, no,” Logan sighed. None of them spoke for a moment before Virgil huffed, “I bet it has something to do with Remus. We should probably go check on him.” When Logan and Patton gave him confused looks, he rolled his eyes. “We found him in the dungeons earlier. He was screaming weird shit when we left.”</p><p>It was unanimously decided that they should visit Remus.</p><p>As they made their way down to the dungeons, Roman began to wonder why Remus had come along. Originally, he had thought it was because J. S. thought it necessary for his own test, but now that his test was over… what was Remus’s real purpose here? Maybe this wasn’t just about Roman. <em>Maybe J. S. realized we’re not the only ones who are broken?</em></p><p>When they reached the cell, they all stared at the body laying on the ground. Remus’s head was bleeding badly, and he was giggling to himself. He slowly looked up at them. “Hi there,” he smiled eerily. “So, are you back to brag about how you’ve all completed your tests now? Don’t worry, they already told me. They already told me. They already told me. They already told me.” He smashed his head against a bar of his cell again, letting out a grunt of pain as more blood spewed forth. <em>Oh my gosh…</em> Virgil bent down and glared at Remus for a long moment before saying anything. “Why did you do all those things to Roman?”</p><p>“Why?” Remus hungrily began to chew on his own fingers and then paused. “When nobody cares about you, you become free. You love yourself. You love every part of yourself because you’re the only one who can. And so, you learn to be your true self.”</p><p>Suddenly, the loudest and most ear-piercing scream emitted from Remus’s mouth. He gripped at the metal bars of his cell, continuing to screech. Everyone covered their ears and cried out in pain. Roman couldn’t focus on anything but trying to block out sound. It reverberated through his brain and made him dizzy. There was something wet on his fingers- blood, coming from his ears. His head felt like drills were being inserted into the sides of it, going deeper and deeper into his very core. The world around them was glitching, colors and error codes flashing.</p><p>Then they were standing in a plaza, in the middle of a park. The screaming and glitching was gone. The five of them were all standing next to a large stone fountain that calmly gushed water. The plaza was full of people, around fifty, going about their daily lives. The park surrounding the plaza was beautiful, a dark, healthy green. There was something off, though. The water in the fountain wasn’t flowing smoothly. It looked as if it was stuttering. And it wasn’t just the fountain; the people were the same way. They were frozen in one spot for five seconds and then would teleport across the plaza. <em>What’s going on? What is all this?</em></p><p>Patton frowned, “Is this Central Park? I’ve always wanted to come here. But how did we get here? We were just at that castle!” He glanced around, confused. Virgil shook his head, “No, this isn’t Central Park. It looks like a shitty, glitchy replica. What even is this place?”</p><p>“Hey,” Logan pointed to Remus’s forehead. “Your wound is completely healed. That is extremely perplexing. Not only did we appear here by you simply screaming, but your fatal injury is gone. How could J. S. make that happen? These tests keep getting stranger and stranger.” Sitting down on the edge of the fountain, he almost slammed his head straight into a bird that was halted mid-air in front of his face. It hadn’t been there a moment before. Logan carefully moved aside so the bird wouldn’t hit him and gestured to it. “This only proves my point.”</p><p>Remus remained silent. He simply fiddled with his fingers and bounced on his toes. Roman watched him carefully. <em>What is he thinking about? Is this a new test for him? But where’s the door to leave? I don’t think there was one for me because we had to enter Remus’s instead, but he’s the last one, so there </em>has<em> to be a door. Right?</em> Well, there sure weren’t any doors nearby. “What are we supposed to do?” Roman wondered aloud. “I mean, I know we’re supposed to help Remus with his test, but how do we do that?”</p><p>“Should we, though?” Virgil crossed his arms. “Should we help a serial killer?”</p><p>Before anyone could answer that question, a stranger approached them and halted in front of Remus. Everyone went silent and waited for her to speak. She opened her mouth and two voices spoke at the same time. Her normal voice sounded broken, with missing words. “What you here?” The second voice was a disgusting screech that almost drowned out the normal voice completely. <strong><em><s>“KILL ME.”</s></em></strong> This startled everyone except for Remus, who hummed for a moment before shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t do mercy kills. Sorry! You’ll have to get someone else to assist in your suicide.” He giggled and snatched the bird from Logan’s spot and shoved it at her. “Here! Take this! Maybe it can peck you to death.”</p><p>The woman stared at the bird and then screamed, running away into the crowd. Remus frowned, “Rude. Just trying to help her out!” He threw the bird aside and it flapped away. Logan furrowed his eyebrows, “You seem unfazed by all of this, Remus. Don’t you think it’s rather strange that the woman spoke with two voices, or that everything around us is stuttering in time?”</p><p>“Nope!” Remus popped the ‘p’. “This is pretty normal. Watch out, Virgil, someone’s about to run into you.” Virgil leapt to the side, and an instant later someone teleported to where he’d been standing. He slowly sidled up to Roman and hissed, “Fucking scared the shit out of me. Can’t they move around like normal people? Is that really so hard?”</p><p>Patton’s eyes widened, “How did you predict that would happen?”</p><p>“Practice!” Remus shrugged. He thought about it for a moment before continuing. “I mean, Virgil just did the same thing. Although, this is a little more teleport-y than I’m used to, I can usually see people move a little bit. It only gets this bad rarely.” A flash of something appeared in his eyes before vanishing. <em>Something’s wrong…</em> Roman was about to ask what was going on with Remus, but a man suddenly materialized next to Remus and grabbed his shoulder. “Have son?” <strong><em><s>“RAPE ME.”</s></em></strong> He continued shaking Remus fiercely, a look of worry on his face. Remus didn’t respond for a moment before pointing across the plaza, “Yeah, he’s over there.”</p><p>The man disappeared. Roman took the chance, “Remus, are you doing okay?”</p><p>“No!” Remus yelped and then spluttered, “I mean, yeah! Sorry, I was responding to the other thing you were saying. Of course I’m fine! Fucking marvelous. Just don’t come near me.” <em>Did he just say sorry?</em> “You know, actually, I need to leave here. It’s too loud! Too loud. Shut up! Why aren’t you guys screaming? Everyone else is. You guys aren’t screaming.” Slowly, Remus began to back away from them, covering his ears with his hands. “Can’t you guys hear that? Look, there’s blood on the ground. Blood…” he trailed off and then spoke softly. “I killed someone again, didn’t I? Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I? Listen to them, they’re screaming!”</p><p>“Nobody is scr-” Logan started to speak before suddenly, he was wrong.</p><p>Thousands of screams filled their ears. It was strange, because Roman could understand exactly what they were all saying. There were so many things that were being yelled, but there were three words in particular that stood out: <em>kill</em>,<em> rape</em>, and <em>me</em>. Not only that, but people were beginning to teleport towards them, the voices getting louder. Remus took off sprinting, and Virgil ran after him without even hesitating, “<em>Run</em>!” The other three followed them, escaping from the encroaching crowd. Roman wanted to squeeze his eyes shut but needed to see where he was going. This was <em>terrifying</em>. Why did these people want to be raped and murdered? Everything was so confusing. <em>What is this all about? What the fuck is going on?</em></p><p>They eventually made it out of the park and out into the streets of the city. Surprisingly, there was nobody around. Remus, though, kept going and went up to the nearest house, jiggling the knob furiously. “Open the fucking door!” he kicked at it, but nothing happened. He let out an angry cry and tried slamming his body into it. Roman wasn’t paying that much attention, though. <em>There’s something familiar about this place.</em> Patton snatched Remus’s arm, “Wait! Look, there’s a sign on the door! This is the door we need to go through!”</p><p>It then clicked in Roman’s head. <em>This is Dr. Picani’s office! Why would the door be into his office though? What does Dr. Picani have to do with this?</em> Wait a second… that voice- J. S.’s voice- that had been <em>Dr. Picani</em>! <em>That’s why I recognized it! But… but that means…</em> Everything made so much more sense now. Dr. Picani- or, J. S.- had been manipulating Roman. <em>I knew he wasn’t a normal therapist!</em> That entire time, J. S. had been trying to do something. But what? <em>I don’t have all the answers, but I do have one.</em></p><p>The sign on the door read, <em>Only those who have accepted their thoughts may enter.</em> Upon reading it, Remus kicked the door with all his might. “J, just fucking open the door! You know fucking well that I’ve accepted my thoughts! <em>Let me in</em>!” None of them moved as he slammed his arms against the door, screeching and kicking. Minutes passed and no one came to open the door. Eventually, Remus gave up and slid down to sit with his back to it, crossing his arms over his bent knees. “Stupid door,” he muttered. Roman didn’t know what to say. <em>I’ve never seen him like this before. This is so weird…</em> <em>But I need to help him. If Virgil forgave me, then I can forgive him.</em></p><p>“Hey…” Roman began to sit down next to him, but Remus shoved him away. “Go away! I swear, if you fucking apologize again, I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you.” The threat in the first time of his saying it was real but faded in his repetitions. He hid his face and went quiet. <em>Actually, he sounds… scared?</em> Why would Remus be scared? Roman had never known Remus to be afraid of anything. “Remus, what’s going on?”</p><p>“Don’t you get it?” Remus hissed suddenly, glaring up at Roman. “The door says that I have to accept my thoughts to go through. That means I have to listen to what the voices are telling me to do. I have to kill you, Roman. I have to kill Patton. I have rape Logan and Virgil. Do you want that, Roman? Do you want your boyfriend to be raped by me again? Because that’s what it’s going to take. So, unless you want things to get messy, you better leave right now.”</p><p>“Actually,” Logan interrupted, “That’s not true.” They all turned to look at him. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses smartly. “In fact, listening to those intrusive thoughts is the absolute wrong thing to do. Accepting those thoughts is not the same thing as listening to them. Accepting them merely means that you recognize that they exist and that they are a part of you. You don’t act on them, but you know they’re there. With time and proper handling of intrusive thoughts, you can lower their effects on you. And although they may be recurring, they do not represent some repressed inner demon inside of you. They are just unwanted ideas.”</p><p>Remus stared at him for a long moment before whispering, “You… you mean I don’t… I don’t have to do those things?” He then squeezed his eyes shut. “When I was younger, it was so hard not to listen to them. I tried and yet sometimes I couldn’t help myself. And when Roman started telling me that I was some kind of monster, I believed him. I tried so hard to be normal, but I couldn’t do it. So, I gave up and just accepted it. I decided that if people were going to call me a monster, then I would actually be one. How can I resist now? If it was hard back then, it’ll be worse now. It <em>is</em> worse now. I don’t want to kill you. I don’t want to kill anyone. But I don’t know how not to. I can’t stop myself anymore.”</p><p>Without hesitation, Logan took a seat next to Remus. “There is medication to help any mental issues you may be suffering from, which will in turn quiet your intrusive thoughts. You don’t have to suffer like this. No one can resist against intrusive thoughts like yours without help- anyone would break under that stress. But with aid, you can do it.” He then leaned over and hugged Remus. Remus was frozen with shock for a moment before he gently hugged Logan back, starting to sob. <em>I can’t bear to see him like this.</em> Roman crouched beside them and clutched his brother close. Remus’s whole body was shaking as he continued to cry. <em>I was so caught up I punishing myself, I didn’t see what he actually needed. He didn’t need me to suffer; he needed me to help him. All these years, we could have been happy. I’m so sorry, Remus.</em> But he forced himself not to speak. <em>He doesn’t want to hear me say that anymore.</em></p><p>Patton had joined in at some point, and Remus was getting squashed. Virgil was the only one still standing up. He was staring off into the distance. <em>That’s okay. He just needs more time. And even if he never forgives Remus, that’s fine. Remus did do terrible things, and that’s not defendable. But the rest of us can work to make sure he doesn’t do </em>more<em> bad things.</em></p><p>“I’m- I’m so sorry,” Remus sniffed loudly. “I know that’ll never be enough, but I am. I’m sorry, Roman, for doing all that stuff to you. I’m sorry, Patton, for murdering all your friends. Most of all, I’m sorry, Virgil. I ruined your life. I murdered your dad and raped you. When- when that was happening, it was like I was watching the world through a glass wall. I lost control. I was so happy that J had given me orders to do something bad that I hurt you too bad. I’m sorry I ever worked for J! Fucking Picani! Fucking <em>Janus</em>!”</p><p><em>So, his name is Janus.</em> That name wasn’t important to Roman. He didn’t know any Januses. But he did know a Picani. <em>He’s going to pay for what he did.</em> “It’s okay, Remus,” Roman murmured softly. “It’s not your fault that Picani manipulated you. I know exactly how that feels, and it’s impossible to tell that he’s used you until after the fact.” Finally, he stood up and went to the door into Dr. Picani’s office. “Are you ready, Remus? When we wake up, I think we’ll have reached the end of all this. Are <em>all</em> of us ready?” He glanced over each one of them. Logan had let go of Remus and was looking at the door with piqued interest. Patton had a look of firm determination on his face, and he gave a sure nod. Virgil and Roman’s eyes met for a long moment. <em>After this, we’ll have to figure out what we’re going to do. But that’s okay. We both need a change.</em></p><p>He looked at his brother. Remus stared back, his eyes hardening. He nodded, too.</p><p>Roman pulled the door open, and bright light blinded them as they were all sucked through.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Flashback! Part 1</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Roman:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Waking up for what he knew would be the final time was slightly saddening. Although all the tests had been slightly frightening- or extremely terrifying- in their own ways, Roman felt as if they could be made to be quite interesting. They were almost like VR video games- not that he’d ever played one of those himself. <em>Although I hate to admit it, J. S.’s- er, Janus’s- tests worked. We’ve all come out better and less broken.</em> Slowly, Roman’s eyes adjusted and his mind reoriented. <em>That glitching, though… I don’t think the Mind Palace likes switching hosts like that.</em></p><p>Roman nearly jumped in his seat when he realized there was someone standing in front of them, their hands clasped behind their back regally. They wore long black pants, black shoes, and a black cape. Their shirt was a deep, faint purple and a yellow tie dangled down from their neck. A bowler hat was perched on top of their head, casting a shadow of their face. But Roman could not mistake it; there was the yellow eye that was unique to the man known as Dr. Picani. <em>Is that even his real name?</em></p><p>“Wait a second…” Virgil groggily narrowed his eyes. “You’re that therapist guy, whatever the fuck your name was. You got the yellow eye and everything.” He put a hand against his forehead. “I’m so fucking confused.”</p><p><em>Wait, did Virgil have Dr. Picani as a therapist, too?</em> Before anyone else could ask any questions, Remus leapt up and crushed J. S. in a hug. “I hate you, but thank you. You didn’t have to give me a test. You could’ve let me be your minion forever. Why didn’t you? Why didn’t you keep manipulating me? I thought I was supposed to be your all-powerful weapon.”</p><p>J. S. didn’t respond for a moment before he let out a small, light laugh. “You really don’t know? I thought you would’ve understood by now. In fact, none of you seem to understand. I told you everything earlier when you first arrived. This is an experiment that, now that it has proven REMI works perfectly, will change the fate of the world.” He hummed in thought before continuing. “Perhaps it would be better if I told you everything in a little more detail. But first, I should properly introduce myself. I am Janus Sanders- J. S.- and Dr. Emile Picani. I am the greatest neurosurgeon and psychologist to ever be. REMI is an experiment that will help people with mental disorders and trauma of all kinds. Take a seat, Remus. This may be a long story.”</p><p>***</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Janus:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>A long time before Janus hosted his final experiment, before he convinced Remus to work with him, he was a very respected neuroscientist. Out of the entire field of doctors in the world, he was the 35-year-old genius who was more knowledgeable in all things about the brain than anyone else. The others revered him, but he was aware there were those who were jealous of his great intellect. There was no one he could rely on but himself. On the Thursday that everything changed, Janus was hunched over his desk reading through files with a drifting mind.</p><p>These were the days that Janus wished he could be doing more. There were better things he could be doing rather than just surgeries, right? Yes, sometimes those were necessary, but there were times when he felt there could be a better way to help people. He shook himself and forced himself to stare intently at the paper in his hands. <em>Focus.</em> But his eyes kept reading the same paragraph over and over again. <em>Godforsaken eye. </em>He tapped his foot idly, subconsciously reaching for his tie to wring it with a hand. How many people had stopped in their tracks upon seeing his golden eye? <em>Too many.</em> There were always too many. They didn’t even know the half of it. He couldn’t have just been born with Heterochromia, but also with Horner’s Syndrome. Well, Horner’s Syndrome had caused his Heterochromia, so perhaps the ‘also’ belonged to his different-colored eyes. The entire left side of his face had never been able to sweat; his left eyelid was always droopy; his pupil was insanely small. It was the whole reason why he’d become a neuroscientist: to find how to treat people like him. Unfortunately, there had been no success as of yet, and he was stuck with people staring at him for the foreseeable future.</p><p>Janus set aside the files. He knew that his mind wouldn’t be able to focus on it anytime soon; he had ADHD to thank for that. <em>What is something I could do to help people more?</em> This job was getting boring, and he needed something to stimulate his mind. His research on Horner’s Syndrome was going nowhere. He needed something new to challenge him, to pick at his brain until he invented something new- like the computer chip he’d created in college. It was able to be connected to a human brain and retain memories. Essentially, he’d cured the forgetfulness part of Alzheimer’s. <em>Maybe I could invent something new. But what? I need to focus! Urgh, I wish I could just-</em> Something clicked in his head. Quickly, he snatched some blank papers from the other side of his desk and began to hurriedly write. <em>If I’m looking for a way to help people with some kind of issue with their brain, perhaps a better way to go is mental disorders rather than brain damage? There are so many mental disorders that we don’t understand! If I could invent something to help them, I could be known as the greatest scientist of all time!</em></p><p>And so, the birth of the small seed that would become Janus’s grand experiment passed.</p><p>***</p><p>A few months later, Janus had come quite a long ways’ in sculpting out the basis of his invention. Over the course of the first few weeks, he had fully developed the idea of what he wanted to accomplish. REMI- the Reality Embellishing Mind Instrument, or the Mind Palace- would someday insert people into their own minds and create a puzzle for them to solve. With the help of other people, they would be able to solve this and figure out where the root of their trauma came from, thus learning how to move past it. <em>Say goodbye to group therapy.</em> It was certainly an invention that could revolutionize the world, but Janus knew that he would have to do a whole lot more research about the brain before being able to actually construct the machine.</p><p>Of course, his day was to be interrupted by an appointment with two parents and their son. Apparently, their son, Logan, had a brain tumor. As Janus looked through his files for the thousandth, he grimly realized just how unfortunate this case was. With all the different factors playing into it, there was no possible way to rid the fast-growing tumor other than to remove it through surgery. It was going to require taking out the child’s entire limbic system, leaving him with no way to feel emotions. <em>My computer chip could save him from permanent memory loss, but loss of feeling is inevitable.</em> He tiredly stepped out of his office and made his way to the lobby, continuing to read the files as he walked. The gears were turning in his head. <em>If I conduct enough research, I might find a way to clear the tumor from his limbic system once the surgery is over. I don’t know how long that will take, though… I think it’s possible, but at what cost?</em></p><p>When he set the files down on the front desk to sign off on some papers, Janus saw two parents and their son enter through the front doors. <em>A completely straight family…</em> They looked very… <em>together</em>. Janus wished his own family could be the same. His parents had never accepted his confession of homosexuality and forced him to marry a woman whom he had never come to love. They had a son, Patton Sanders. That was the one good thing that had come out of the relationship. Patton meant the world to Janus, after his work. He was two years old already and absolutely perfect in every way. <em>I hope I can raise him to be whatever he wants to be. I won’t let Patty tell him being gay is bad. I know she supports LGBTQ+, but you can never really know…</em></p><p>As the trio approached Janus, he looked up and flashed his signature fake smirk. <em>I can’t imagine what they’ll feel like when they hear the bad news.</em> “Ah, you’ve finally showed up. I trust Logan has been doing well?” <em>No, he hasn’t. Not with a tumor growing at exponential rates inside his head. Stupid formalities.</em> The father had a grim look on his face but still spoke brightly. “Yes. So, are we going to have to wait a little while before the surgery starts or do you start immediately?” The parents were already aware of what was to take place. <em>I just wish I knew a different way to go about this.</em> Janus sighed, “No, you’re just here so you can waste your time sitting in a lobby.” There was a moment of silence before he realized they didn’t understand his sarcasm. He rolled his eyes, <em>How do people not get it?</em> “I was being sarcastic, we start immediately. I don’t have time to chit-chat, so let’s head over to the operating room and get our wonderful Logan all ready before I get fired for engaging in polite conversation.” With that, he turned on his heels and made his way down the hallway. <em>Wait… if they really want to go through with this, Logan will have to go through a hard life. Perhaps he will garner trauma? How would that be possible without emotions? Or perhaps that would be the exact thing that causes it? Maybe… he could be one of the people to try out REMI first?</em></p><p>When they reached his office door, he ducked to the side and pulled open the door. “After you.” As the three passed through the doorway, Janus watched Logan stare at his yellow plastic gloves for a long few moments before disappearing inside. Janus knew the boy was scared of him, but that didn’t matter. <em>I’m going to change his life someday.</em></p><p>A long conversation took place. The parents agreed to the operation formally and Logan was taken to an operating room. Doctors hovered around inside, waiting to aid Janus if the need arose. It was a long process of separating the brain tissues carefully enough as to not damage anything, but it was finished eventually. He’d even put a tracking device in along with the computer chip to aid in memory. Logan’s parents took him away before he had woken, and Janus was glad for it. He didn’t want to see the moment in which Logan’s parents fully realized what their child not loving them really was like.</p><p>He returned to his office and began to formulate a new plan. Building REMI wouldn’t be enough; he needed subjects to test it- and he had just stumbled upon his first one.</p><p>***</p><p>Six years later, Janus was obsessed with completing REMI. It was his life now. <em>It’s going to help so many people!</em> Throughout these six years, Janus kept in touch with Logan through the computer chip in his brain. Janus had made it specially so he would be able to implant thoughts into Logan’s head and affect his life. <em>I need to be in control of what happens to him. I need the perfect testers to make sure REMI is a success. I have to go all-in on this or it’ll fail, and people will continue to suffer. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.</em></p><p>That’s why, six years later exactly, Janus made the most heartbreaking choice of his life.</p><p>The night before, he had slipped into his son’s room and carefully used an invention of his own to insert a tracking device into Patton’s wrist. As he had looked down on his son’s sleeping face, Janus had wondered if this really was the right thing to do. They had become so close, and Janus loved him more than anything in the entire world- after REMI. But as REMI came first, this had to be done. Unfortunately, their connection made Patton the perfect second candidate as test subject. By disappearing, Janus would be ripping a part of Patton apart and he would suffer because of it. <em>I’m so sorry.</em> But as Janus returned to his and his wife’s bed, he knew it was for the best.</p><p>The hardest part was the next day when Patton was at school and Patty at work.</p><p>The note was impossible to write. <em>I can’t do it.</em> Janus was sitting at the kitchen island, banging his head on the counter. There were torn papers all around him and a few blank pages in front of him, along with an incredibly sharp pencil. The note had to be perfect if it was to cause the reaction Janus needed from Patton. But there was nothing more painful than trying to find the right words to make his own son hate him. His eight-year-old son who didn’t deserve this. <em>I have to do this. It will be worth it.</em> Would it be, though? <em>It has to be… right?</em> Earlier that morning, when Janus had said goodbye to his son for the last time, Patton’s eyes had been glowing with excitement. <em>“See you later, Dad!”</em> There had been so much love in that little, innocent face. <em>If I do this right, he will never look at me like that again- if we even see each other after today.</em></p><p>He broke down into tears. This was turning out to be harder than he’d imagined. The pages remained empty as tears dripped down his hands as he covered his eyes, his body shaking. Janus had wanted to leave Patty for so long now, but Patton… he wasn’t going to see his bright little son ever again. <em>I’m so sorry, Patton. I hope you understand, one day, why I’m doing this.</em></p><p>After Janus’s sobs had dissolved into nothingness, he finally felt desolate enough to write the note. Slowly, he concocted the first draft. Words of nothingness, speaking of his homosexuality and that he had never loved Patty. That it had all been an act to convince his family that he was straight and a good man, who could lead a good, Christian life. <em>God isn’t real.</em> He even wove a tale of two star-crossed lovers who happened to meet at the right place at the right time. By the end of it, Janus had almost convinced himself that he had a lover that he was running away with. Of course, he wasn’t even going to leave Gainesville, let alone move to Canada to live with an imaginary man. His work was in Gainesville, and in Gainesville it would stay.</p><p>There were multiple times where he almost apologized to Patton. So many perfect moments to tell Patton that he still loved him, that he loved him so, so much. <em>I can’t do that.</em> Janus had to break Patton into having abandonment issues. He had to nurture trauma that would stay with Patton until so many years later, when the experiment would come to pass. Yes: an experiment. But trauma required time to fully develop. From what had been a simple idea had grown a lifelong dedication that Janus could not abandon. This had to be done for the sake of the human race.</p><p>An hour or two later, Janus had finished the note. It was the best it could be. Who knew that it was the unspoken words that could hurt the most? He sealed the letter in an envelope and wrote <em>Patty</em> on the front of it, placing it in the middle of the island. Then he went to his and Patty’s room to pack up his things. He wouldn’t be taking much; his new apartment was quite small. All his things fit into a large suitcase- just some clothes and his electronics. The apartment was already furnished, and he could buy what he needed later. His plans were at the apartment, too; he’d quit his job at the hospital so Patty wouldn’t find him still working there. It had been an unfortunate loss of equipment, but he had enough money to continue on his own.</p><p>Just before he left, Janus snatched a framed picture from the mantelpiece.</p><p>It felt slightly freeing to leave the house and make his way to the bus stop, dragging the suitcase behind. This was it. This was the moment he was truly deciding to chase his dreams, even though it was costing him everything. In fact, as he got on the bus and traveled across the city, it crossed his mind that this was the last day anyone would call him Janus for a very long time. He was going to the city hall to finalize his name change, and once he got out, he would be known as Dr. Emile Picani. Everything was set up; he had an office only a few blocks away from his apartment where he would start seeing patients as a therapist.</p><p>It would be good for him. Now that his hyperfixation had shifted from the physical aspects of the brain to the mental ones, he needed to indulge in the psychologist side of him. He’d double-majored in neuroscience and psychology back in college, but fixing his Horner’s Syndrome had been his main focus. Now, though, he was looking past his own wants. Janus was going to help so many people with REMI- he just needed more time and three more subjects. Where he was going to find them, he did not know. But that was an issue for another day.</p><p>By the time he had left the city hall, it was around lunchtime. Janus- or, Emile- walked to his new apartment, as it was just nearby. The wheels of his suitcase made a steady noise that continued on the pavement until he reached the front door. He inserted the key into the knob and then pushed the door open, flipping on the light switch.</p><p>It was messy inside. There was a large table in the center of the living room, with plans and notes scattered across its entire surface. There was a small kitchen branching off on the left, and the shut door of the single bedroom on the right. A bathroom was in the back. Over time, Emile hoped to make this place where he operated from. Many things were to be accomplished in the years to come. It all depended on who the next three subjects were going to be.</p><p>He put the suitcase in his room and then returned to the table, pulling up a chair and studying his notes. His job as a therapist would give him access to people with trauma and mental issues. Eventually, someone would come along and be the perfect candidate. Emile also knew that at some point, he would need to find a helper. <em>I can’t do this completely alone… I need someone who can understand my mission.</em> There were simply too many things to do. <em>I need to complete my research, and if there is nobody with trauma as severe as I want, then I’m going to have to make my own candidates. I’ll be too busy to do any dirty work.</em></p><p>There were so many factors in this experiment. Logan was progressing on quite well, but Emile still didn’t know whether Patton would have the right reaction. <em>I think he will, but one can never assume a human’s psyche.</em> There was an anxiousness to find the other three inside him, to discover what kind of people would be aiding him in his quest to save the world. But he couldn’t do anything about that at the moment. He had to be patient and let them come to him in their own time.</p><p>They would. They would, eventually.</p><p>He wrung his tie subconsciously and began tapping his foot as he looked over his plans.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Flashback! Part 2</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Emile:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Four years later, Emile was sitting across from whom he immediately knew to be the perfect helper of his plans.</p><p>The boy was thirteen, and his name was Roman. He was tall for his age, with ginger hair flopping over his glittering amber eyes. His shirt was a blood-red color, with black skinny jeans that were mostly covered by his brown boots. His nails were painted gold. Of course, what clued Emile in on why Roman would be so perfect for the job was the expression on his face. When Emile had asked about Roman’s anger issues, Roman had laid himself lengthwise on the couch and an ugly snarl had taken over his expression. That raw anger and hate was something Emile needed for his plans.</p><p>At this point, Emile had completely figured out his full experiment. Each of the subjects would face an individual test before the important one, just to make sure they were entirely traumatized. He also needed to bait them into coming to whatever location the true experiment would be taking place at. So, he had decided that all the individual tests would involve a serial killer murdering everyone. Roman certainly looked as if he could kill everyone, including his own brother. Emile hadn’t thought much of Roman's parents’ call earlier to set up an appointment, but now he was intrigued beyond all knowledge.</p><p>“Don’t call it that,” Roman huffed in annoyance. “He’s just messed-up, and he likes it. Remus ruins everything! Every time I try to do something extraordinary- which is quite a lot- he has one of his fits of ‘intrusive thoughts’ and takes all the attention. I can never prove to my parents how amazing I am because of him! It’s always about him! ‘Remus isn’t friendly today’, ‘Remus doesn’t like animals right now, so we won’t go to the zoo’, Remus, Remus, Remus, it’s always about him! What about what <em>I</em> want? My happiness is their lowest priority! What kind of parents do that? They’re horrible people- them <em>and</em> Remus.” His hands were clenching into fists. <em>I’ve never seen someone with so much pent-up rage before.</em> After waiting for so long, the time had finally arrived. Emile’s patience had rewarded him well. <em>He’s absolutely perfect.</em></p><p>Scribbling down a few notes on Roman’s behavior, Emile raised an eyebrow. “That does sound awful! Tell me more about your brother- which, I know, that’s what you just said you were fed up with doing. But maybe telling it from your perspective might help a little with your feelings. Would it bother you to describe him?”</p><p>“Well, he’s two inches shorter than me, draws a mustache on because he can’t grow one yet, and he bleached his bangs a couple days ago. He’s missing two teeth because he got into a fistfight a couple years ago. As for personality? He’s an abomination, I tell you. Loud, obnoxious, nonsensical, random, selfish, you know a bad trait and he probably has it. I don’t know how Mom and Dad can like him so much.”</p><p><em>Hmm… </em>Emile knew that those were probably biased opinions. Not only that, but to his knowledge, Roman’s brother, Remus, suffered from a numerous amount of mental disorders. <em>Most of the things Roman described are symptoms of the disorders he has…</em> It was obvious that Roman was too egotistical to actually consider Remus’s feelings. <em>Their parents said that Roman has been lashing out at Remus a lot lately… Remus could develop trauma from that kind of abuse. That’s it! Remus can be the third subject.</em> It was hard not to start smiling upon the new revelation, but he managed to keep a straight face. “Your parents may never feel it necessary to give you the love and attention that you deserve. But something that will make you feel good is to hurt the thing that’s hurting you. <em>Remus</em>. If he’s making you feel unloved and unwanted, do the same to him! It makes for a healthy sibling rivalry, it will make him less spoiled, and you’ll feel so much better!” After so many years of being a therapist, it felt wrong to give such terrible advice. But for the sake of REMI, Emile was willing to do it.</p><p>As they continued to talk, he tapped his foot quietly on the floor underneath his desk.</p><p>***</p><p>After six months, Roman had become a master of manipulation. Originally, he had been too angry to say anything meaningful to hurt Remus, but over time with Emile’s guidance he was able to pierce anyone’s soul with his barbed words and silver tongue. He’d even started to insult Emile more regularly. Emile didn’t think it was conscious; if you do something a lot, it becomes a habit. <em>I hope his parents don’t connect his rude behavior to me.</em> Roman was becoming a true bully- a <em>smart</em> one. <em>Sticks and stones may not break my bones, but words will surely hurt me.</em></p><p>In fact, Roman was turning out to be such an incredible protégé that Emile had decided to let him in on his plans at their appointment that day. It was time for the truth to come forward. Roman was ready for it all, and he could be much more useful once he was knowledgeable in the full story. Perhaps, once the experiment was over, Emile could help Roman learn how to be a good person. But for now, Emile needed someone to be the villain.</p><p>So, when Roman arrived a whole twenty minutes early, Emile felt a little disturbed.</p><p>Throughout the entirety of the appointment he had to resume while Roman waited in the lobby, his foot tapped on the ground. He just wanted to get this woman out of his office so he could move onto more important things, but he couldn’t do that. Finally, <em>finally</em>, their time was up, and she left. “Alright, I’m ready for you, Roman! Come on in!” he called down the hall. Roman appeared a moment later.</p><p>Immediately, Emile recognized that something was <em>very</em> wrong. Instead of his usual proud, extroverted posture, Roman was crouched in on himself. His face and eyes were filled with dread and guilt, and he had his school backpack with him. His whole body displayed exhaustion. <em>Did he come straight here? Shit, did someone hurt him?</em> Fatherly instincts were kicking in, but he forced himself to act professional. “I’m going to guess that something happened today or yesterday that you’re upset about? Not only did you arrive here early, but you look like you hardly slept last night and you’re acting very distracted. Would you like to talk about it?”</p><p>As Roman sat down on the couch, he nodded. Before speaking, he tugged his sleeves down past his wrists. <em>Is… is he trying to hide cuts? I’ve never seen him nervous like this.</em> “Last night, right before we were going to go to bed, Remus pushed me up against a wall and… <em>licked</em> me! Then he told me that he’d accepted that he was broken and now he was going to thrive in it, that I couldn’t hurt him anymore. I… I drove him <em>insane</em>! All during school today, he was giving me these weird looks and I… it’s all my fault.”</p><p>The desolate look on Roman’s face conveyed all the information Emile needed. Remus had been <em>broken</em>. It was absolutely perfect- it was what he’d wanted this entire time. But yet… it wasn’t right. Roman wasn’t supposed to regret anything. The moment Remus had turned the situation on him, <em>he’d</em> broken too. <em>I have to salvage this.</em> “That’s not true,” Emile reassured Roman. <em>I can’t have him back out now! I still need someone to help me! </em> “<em>He</em> was the one that did that, not you. Nobody made him do anything. He was the one who chose that option. You’ve been simply doing what anyone else in your situation would’ve done- you were showing him that he doesn’t get everything he wants in life. It’s not your fault that he couldn’t handle that truth. It just means he was even more spoiled than you thought he was! As for what you should do now, perhaps only words aren’t enough to put him in his place-”</p><p>“No!” Roman objected loudly. <em>What?</em> Emile took a moment to process the word and then responded. “What do you mean, no?” <em>No, no, no, I can’t let this happen! What am I supposed to do without him?</em> Roman didn’t meet his gaze, “I’m not going to do anything else to him. I was <em>abusing</em> him, and that was what broke him. Dr. Picani, with all due respect, the things you’ve told me to do have just made everything worse. My brother has OCD and ADHD- he doesn’t need me bullying him too. I don’t deserve the love that I want. I’m sorry, but I can’t come here anymore. It seems that the things I want to do are the wrong ones. I did <em>horrible</em> things to Remus- I made him feel insecure, weak, and like a horrible person, none of which he deserves to feel. It’s high time I started paying for my actions. My parents will let me stop coming, since I haven’t had one of my outbursts in a while.”</p><p>Emile could feel his jaw hanging open. <em>This happened… over night?</em> How was this possible? <em>Six months wasted.</em> How was he supposed to fix this? What was Emile to do? Roman would <em>never</em> go along with his plans with this new attitude. In the course of about five seconds, a million thoughts rattled around his brain until a golden one popped up. <em>His brother… Remus! Remus is a completely broken person, but that’s exactly what I need! He obviously is unhinged and is fine with doing whatever the hell sounds fun. I might be able to convince him to join me.</em> “Alright, Roman. If you really think that is the best course of action to take, I can’t stop you. But if you’re really concerned for your brother, perhaps you could convince him to start seeing me? It seems he could use someone to help him work through some things.”</p><p>Roman perked up instantly, sitting up straighter. “Yes! Yes, I’ll try my best.”</p><p>
  <em>Tap, tap, tap.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Two days later, Emile had all his appointments for the day canceled. The desk in his office was covered in his plans for REMI, and he was wearing some of his old, familiar clothes: a black bowler hat, yellow gloves, and a yellow tie. It felt comforting to be able to be seen like this again, his true self. <em>This is who I am, and finally someone gets to see it.</em> He’d been mulling over the chances of Remus joining him, and he’d decided they were very high. Remus would surely want to cause some chaos in the world- and becoming a serial killer would certainly be that.</p><p>There was a knocking on the window behind Emile. He frowned and peeked out it. A lanky teenager with a drawn-on mustache was hopping up and down just outside, waving his arms around wildly. <em>This must be Remus.</em> Remus had dyed gray bangs and a front tooth missing, the same amber eyes as Roman’s glowing with delight. He was wearing a dark green T-shirt with black shorts and tennis shoes, a gray hoodie wrapped around his waist. Emile frowned and opened the window. “There is a door, you know. And in case you didn’t notice, this window has a screen.”</p><p>“So?” Remus shrugged. “It’s more fun this way! Get rid of the screen and pull me up!”</p><p>Heaving a sigh, Emile carefully took off the screen from the window and extended a hand to Remus. <em>Roman was certainly right about his strangeness…</em> It took quite the effort, but finally Emile managed to drag Remus in. They both took a moment to catch their breath before Emile gestured to the couch. “Please, take a seat. We have much to discuss.”</p><p>Remus did as he was told and plopped down on the furniture, laying out lengthwise. <em>Just like Roman used to do.</em> There was certainly the same confidence in Remus, and yet… it was different somehow. It wasn’t egotistical like Roman. It was more like determination. Remus yawned loudly, “Soooo, I’m only here because I made a deal. Why did you want to see me? I mean, it’s kinda a first that anybody wants to voluntarily meet me, y’know?”</p><p><em>I have to say this right.</em> “I believe I can offer you something nobody else can,” Emile said as he sat down behind his desk. “To be honest, I would've offered it to your brother, but things have... changed. He broke you, and that in turn broke him. It seems you are much more fit for what I have in mind. How do you feel about taking chances? About doing... unlawful things for the greater good?” <em>Please let him agree to this. I can’t do this without him.</em> Remus frowned, “Hmmmm, the greater good? Psh.” His eyes then brightened, and he stared straight into Emile’s gaze. “Something unlawful? Sign me up, snake eye!”</p><p>The nickname stung slightly. “Don’t call me that,” Emile muttered. This made Remus grin. A shiver went down Emile’s spine as Remus spoke, “Whatcha gonna do about it, snake eye?”</p><p><em>He’s absolutely perfect.</em> “Nevermind.” <em>Tap, tap, tap.</em></p><p>***</p><p>Two years later, Remus’s training had progressed even better than Emile could’ve ever hoped. Obviously, Remus’s therapy appointments were a ploy. Instead of staying at the office, they would drive out to the woods outside of Gainesville. Here, they would spend the day exploring the forest. Often, they would bring along with them an expert in some form of martial art. Remus had learned how to fight extremely well. There was still a long way for him to go before he would be good enough to follow through with Emile’s plans, but he was getting along well.</p><p>Today, though, Emile had an appointment with someone else- a teenager named Virgil. Virgil’s father had explained over the phone that Virgil had been suffering from crippling anxiety lately and needed someone he could trust to empty his thoughts to. Apparently, ever since his mother had died two years before from leukemia, his anxiety had taken a hold of him. Of course, Emile had other things on his mind, but he reminded himself that REMI could wait; while it would help people in the future, Emile could help people right then and there as a therapist.</p><p>This was how Emile discovered the final test subject for REMI.</p><p>Virgil wasn’t an ordinary anxious teenager. Sitting on that couch across from Emile, he was curled up in a ball with his knees pulled up to his chest. The hood of his jacket was pulled over his head, and brown bangs hung over his eyes. He remained completely still and silent, refusing to answer Emile’s questions. It was slightly frustrating, but as their time went on, Emile began to think hard. <em>His anxiety is more severe than any case I’ve ever seen before. I can’t do anything to him directly, not with him giving me the silent treatment. Maybe I could have Remus get to him? They might go to the same school.</em></p><p>Eventually, Virgil spoke. “Can I just leave?” he mumbled just above a whisper. Emile sighed and nodded. “Yes. We can try again next time. Have a good day, Virgil.” Before he’d even finished speaking, though, Virgil had disappeared out of the office and the front door slammed. Emile opened his desk drawer and pulled out the blueprints for his computer chip. He’d been improving upon it lately and had finally developed it enough that it could now be attached to a full brain and still implant thoughts into the mind. An idea was starting to grow in Emile’s mind. <em>Virgil is scared of other people… what could make him develop a phobia?</em></p><p>Virgil didn’t come back for another appointment.</p><p>It took a good two weeks before the plan kicked into action. Two sketchy men were hired to accompany Remus on his first real mission. A black van was bought, and an abandoned house was found in the outskirts of the city. Emile hated what he was doing, but he knew it would be worth it. The trauma that both Virgil and Remus would receive from that night would only aid the experiment. <em>Dramatic choices must be made for dramatic change.</em> Emile would be accompanying them but would not participate with the others. He didn’t need another thing to weigh heavily on his heart- not when so many other things already did. Not only that, but Virgil would recognize him and connect the dots.</p><p>Emile got to sit in the passenger seat. With his black clothes and bowler hat, it was nearly impossible to see him. Gainesville was falling into darkness. <em>All we have to do is find Virgil.</em> In fact, they roamed the streets for quite a long time. Emile was just starting to think they should give up for the night when he spotted Virgil and another teenager outside an arcade on the sidewalk. “Wade, stop the fucking car!” The driver stomped on the breaks and they halted in the middle of the road. The two teens were speaking to each other quietly, and it was impossible to hear what they were saying. <em>If they stick together, we won’t be able to get Virgil tonight. I won’t bring in unnecessary third parties.</em> They were in luck; the unknown teen headed away and Virgil started walking in the opposite direction. Emile whispered, “Follow very slowly until I tell you to move forward with the plan. We can’t let anyone see us.”</p><p>They approached from a good two-hundred feet away. Virgil was too busy staring at the ground with his earbuds in to notice them. Carefully looking in all directions, Emile nodded. “Alright, go. And don’t run him over, we need him alive and in perfect health.”</p><p>The van skidded across the road as Wade floored it. Emile clung onto his seat for his life and they halted just next to Virgil. Virgil snapped his head up and his eyes widened like a deer in the headlights. “Go!” Emile shouted to the back, and he heard the doors open. Remus and the other hired man, Joey, sprinted for the shocked teenager. Virgil seemed to realize the danger and tried to high-tail it out of there, but Joey snatched him and dragged him into the van. The back doors slammed shut and Emile gestured to the road. “Mind driving, Wade?”</p><p>It wasn’t long before they reached the abandoned house. It wasn’t long before Emile was alone in the van, waiting to receive a text from Remus telling him that the job was done. <em>It’s truly terrible what we’ve done, but it was necessary.</em> Time passed ever so slowly, and it was a few hours before his phone lit up with a new message. He got out of the van, heading into the house with a feeling of dread. He didn’t know what exactly the scene he would find would be, but he knew it would not be pretty in any way.</p><p>He went into the far bedroom and found that Remus was on his phone, with Wade waiting outside the shut bathroom door. Running water could be heard from inside. Virgil was laying unconscious on the bed, now fully clothed. <em>Thank goodness.</em> Emile pulled out three items from his pockets: a needle, nylon thread, and a strange device of his own making. He sat down on the bed and adjusted Virgil to lay on his stomach, carefully finding the exact right spot before pressing his invention against the base of Virgil’s neck. There was a loud <em>shink!</em> as the computer chip was inserted in, and he put the device aside. Then with the needle and thread, he precisely sewed the now small, clean slice up until he could hardly see it. <em>There- now I won’t only be able to control him when needed, but we’ll be able to track him wherever he goes.</em> Remus had already put a tracking chip in Roman’s wrist back when they’d first teamed up, so that accounted for all four of them.</p><p>“Alright,” Emile swooped Virgil up into his arms just as Joey came out of the bathroom. “We’ll go to his house now. Remus will be the only one to go in there- trust me, you don’t want to see anything that he’ll be doing.”</p><p>***</p><p>Many, many years passed- eight to be exact. Over time, Dr. Emile Picani became more widely known. When Remus turned eighteen and moved to Manhattan with Roman, Emile bought an abandoned three-story warehouse and transformed it into a new mental hospital facility. This was where he decided the big experiment would be held. He also bought a few other buildings in more prominent cities in case they were needed. But since they weren’t currently being used as housing for his experiments, Emile decided to dedicate them to the arts. The one in Jacksonville was renovated to become a theatre, the one in Brooklyn was transformed into an art gallery, and the one in Chicago turned into a concert hall. These buildings fell under the company name of <em>J. S. Inc.</em> He rather liked having his old name somewhere in the world.</p><p>One day in July of 2020, Emile called Remus from outside a gas station in the middle of South Carolina. Looking off into the countryside through his tinted sunglasses, he smiled.</p><p>“I’m on my way to Manhattan. Tomorrow shall be the beginning of the experiment.”</p><p>
  <em>Tap, tap, tap.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The end is coming near, and some loose ends are tied.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Patton:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>It had taken an hour of storytelling, but finally, Emile was finished. He looked extremely tired, as if he’d stayed awake for days. <em>He probably has.</em> This man- Janus, Emile, whatever- had sacrificed his entire life for an experiment to help other people. Everything Patton had known previously had been flipped onto his head and turned inside-out. <em>He never ran away to be with a man. But he was honest about not loving Mom…</em> It was all so hard to process.</p><p>“Do you understand now?” Emile began tapping his foot on the floor. <em>Tap, tap, tap.</em> “All of this has been in order to help people like you five. I know the things I’ve done are horrible to comprehend, but it was for the good of the world. Because of your cooperation to complete these tests, hundreds of thousands of people will benefit. Trauma can be healed through this method. People can learn to consider themselves as human, to admit to their mistakes, to be brave, to forgive themselves. They can learn that it is okay to ask for help when they need it, and in the end, that is the only thing that can cure them. I am proud to say that REMI is a complete success, although I could certainly improve the feature that switches hosts. If you experienced any glitching, that would’ve been caused by that. Luckily, that was a very rare circumstance.”</p><p>Roman looked up, looking slightly lost. “That’s what Remus meant when he said that I was supposed to be the weapon. I was really going to be your pet serial killer?”</p><p>“No,” Emile sighed. “You were going to be my <em>partner</em>. If Remus had declined to do as I asked, I would’ve hired someone else. Of course, as he was a subject too, I knew that he wasn’t going to say no. That is something I apologize for deeply, Remus.” Before he could get another word out, Remus crushed him in a second hug. They all stayed silent, letting Emile lift his arms to hug Remus back in peace. After a long few moments, Remus let him go. “Thank you. I know you supposedly manipulated me into following your every order, but I also was going along with it more than willingly. Both of us did bad things, so I think we’re even.”</p><p>In a flash, Virgil had stood up and pulled out his small knife. He pointed it at Emile and Remus. Neither of them moved. “Enough of this, how about one of you two go and get Dante, Thomas, and Joan? Because honestly, I don’t fucking care about getting past all my shit or whatever. Get the fucking kids here <em>right now</em>.”</p><p>Emile nodded, “Of course. Remus, would you care to fetch them? I’m afraid that Joan doesn’t… <em>appreciate</em> me very much.” With a hum of agreement, Remus scampered out of the room. Virgil didn’t lower the knife and remained where he was, continuing to stare with narrowed eyes at Emile. Roman stood up and took the knife, “Virgil, I think it’s a given that nobody’s going to be killed anymore. Don’t worry about it.”</p><p>“Oh, I’ll fucking worry about it!” Virgil snarled at Emile, whipping out his other knife. “What were the individual tests for? Why didn’t you just ask around for anyone who was traumatized? You didn’t have to ruin all of our lives! My dad is dead because of Remus, because of <em>you</em>!” His whole body had started trembling with fury, his eyes nearly glowing with fire. Patton’s own eyes widened, <em>Is he going to attack Janus? I have to do something!</em> Quickly, he jumped up and stood between Virgil and Emile. “Stop it! Virgil, if you hurt him, you’ll be just like him. I know he did bad things, and trust me, I hate him as much as the next person. But we don’t have to act on that hate, like Remus doesn’t have to act on his intrusive thoughts. We can be <em>better</em> than him.”</p><p>For a half second, Patton thought Virgil would shove him aside and murder Emile. But with an angry huff, Virgil stuck the knife back into his boot. “Whatever,” he muttered and went to go sit down. Roman went with him and Patton turned around to face his father. “He’s right, though. Why did you spend twenty years raising us with trauma when you could’ve found people who already had some?”</p><p>“Do you really think the government wouldn’t suspect I was up to something if I started asking around for traumatized patients?” Emile scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Technically, all of this is human experimentation, and laws around that get very strict. Oh yeah, and I had Remus murder a bunch of people. Kind of illegal? They wouldn’t understand what my research will accomplish. Everything was planned exactly right so I wouldn’t be arrested before the experiment was over. As for the individual tests, they had multiple purposes. I had to bait you all into coming here with something, and I wanted to see how you would cope in those situations. Fortunately, you all succeeded: your mental states became even more damaged, but you all survived. The only person I told Remus to go easy on was Virgil, and that was because I already knew he was a perfect subject. You see? Everything worked out in the end. I know a lot of people you all cared about died, but you’ve also met other people through the experiments. Virgil, you never would’ve created your special bond with Dante if I had sent you to the art gallery that day. None of you would’ve been introduced to one another.” He looked down at the floor. “So, although many bad things came of this, you should focus on the good things. That is what your tests were all about. By facing the trauma you’ve carried with you since your childhood and finally accepting it, you can now move forward and enjoy your lives. You can be truly happy now. Until today, none of you were happy. Virgil, you’ve been a hermit for the past eight years. Patton, you’ve been suppressing your homosexuality for the past fourteen. Logan’s thought of himself as less than human for almost his entire life. Roman has been punishing himself for the same act of cruelty through unimaginable self-harm. And Remus thought that since apparently nobody loved him that all he would ever feel was hate. Today has changed you all.”</p><p>The door suddenly was kicked open and Remus launched himself into the room. “Come on, see? I wasn’t lying! They’re all right here!”</p><p>Patton felt as if the world slowed down. Two teens and a child entered, their eyes widening. <em>Oh my God.</em> There was Thomas and Joan. Those poor children that he hadn’t been able to save- they were okay. They were <em>fine</em>! They didn’t have any injuries, and <em>oh my God they’re alive.</em> Patton ran over to them and hugged them at the same time, feeling tears mist his eyes. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” he whispered. It was the only thing he could say. He’d wished for this moment for two months. To know that Thomas and Joan were with him, that they were <em>okay</em>- it was impossible to handle without crying. As sobs wracked his body, he pulled away from them. “I’m so- I’m so- so sorry, about everything I said. I wish I could- if I could take it all back, I would. Joan, being non-binary is perfect. <em>You</em> are perfect, just the way you are. Thomas, you can love whoever you want. And I agree whole-heartedly that men are <em>so</em> much more attractive than women, and I guess this is my way of saying I’m gay too, and I can’t- I was- I didn’t-”</p><p>“Whoa,” Thomas held him close again. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Patton. I’m just glad you’ve changed your mind. That’s all that matters.” None of the three of them said anything else. Patton was thankful for it. <em>We can take the time to talk about things later.</em> For now, all he wanted was to continue feeling the relief of knowing that even though everyone else had been killed, Thomas and Joan were still alive. They would mourn for Talyn another day. For now, it was just about them.</p><p><em>No, there’s one more thing I have to do.</em> “Can you give me just a second?” he asked Thomas and Joan. When they both nodded, Patton turned and went back over to Emile, who was watching Virgil and Dante hugging with a sad smile on his face from his seat at one of the picnic tables. Patton sat down next to him gently and Emile’s eyes flickered over to him. Seeing his yellow eye made Patton shiver. “Was it worth it?” he murmured, just loud enough for his father to hear. “Abandoning me, having Remus kill over 50 people, and giving us life-altering trauma? Was it worth spending two decades for that when you could’ve chosen to raise me instead?”</p><p>That sad smile remained, if not deepened. Emile hesitated and then spoke. “Sacrifices must be made to save the world. I have progressed science in an innumerable amount of ways. Lots of people do bad things but are remembered for the glory they brought to the world. Think of the Founding Fathers. Lots of them owned slaves and yet they are praised for making the American Revolution a success. America dropped two atomic bombs on Japanese cities and are revered for having caused Japan’s surrender in World War II. Genghis Khan and his people murdered and pillaged in unimaginable ways but are recognized to have been one of the most accepting societies of different religious practices to this day. I don’t regret making the choices I made. I do wish, though, that I could’ve been there to raise you. I wasn’t lying when I told you how hard it was for me to leave that day. I know so much about you, and yet at the same time, I know nothing. If I could change anything without affecting any events leading up to this point, I would’ve stayed.”</p><p><em>Why am I doing this?</em> The thought popped into Patton’s head without even thinking too hard. Why <em>was</em> he doing this? After all this time… Emile had abandoned him, and he didn’t regret it. After all this time, Patton still felt a tug on his heart that wanted his father back. <em>No. No… I don’t want him back. At least, not this version of him.</em> This man was not the father Patton once had, all those years ago. “You’re not my dad. You turned into someone else the moment you left. I remember you being such a kind person, who would <em>never</em> hurt anyone. All you wanted was to help others, even if it was in the smallest way possible.” He closed his eyes and kept going. “But now? You’ve sacrificed so many people for the “greater good”. And I know you’re happy with it, so there’s nothing I can really say but that I never want to see you again. I don’t need a dad to be happy. I have lots of people who will stay with me now.”</p><p>“Good,” Emile said just above a whisper. “I’m glad you’ve realized that. You should know that Thomas and Joan were really scared for you. We let them in on what was going on almost immediately, since there was no reason not to, and they kept making sure we weren’t going to hurt you. They’re good kids. And even though you were homophobic and transphobic towards them, they still cared about you. So, don’t make the same mistakes as you did before, or the next time something tragic happens, they might not. Oh, and I hope your relationship with Logan suits you once I’ve given him his emotions back. Speaking of which- Logan! Come here.”</p><p>Logan looked up from his seat and then came over. He tilted his head and asked with his usual blank face, “Is there something you need me for? Is it time for me to get my brain transplant, or will you do something else to restore my emotions?” There was something about him that made Patton think he was resigned, as if he no longer believed there was a way to fix himself. Emile nodded, “Yes, it will be a brain transplant. I’ve been able to keep your old limbic system alive and grow it with stimulation, as well as eradicate the tumor. It only took twelve years. But before we go do that, I wanted to tell you something.” The sadness disappeared from his face as stood up, straightening his tie. “I know I am to be arrested the moment we leave this building. I have expected that for a long time now. So, I have signed all the documents that are necessary to give you ownership of this mental hospital and all the other buildings I have bought over the years, along with REMI itself and all other inventions I have kept to myself. You may do with them what you will, but I do ask that you don’t waste the two past decades of experimentation and instead share REMI with the world. I trust your judgement as one of the greatest neuroscientists I have ever known. In fact, you might even come close to me. <em>Might</em>, I’m still not sure.”</p><p>Both Logan and Patton stared at Emile with shocked expressions. Logan then composed himself and cleared his throat. “Alright, thank you. I’m honored that you think I come close to your genius. As you are a great scientist, I assume that you still have your notes on how brain transplants could be possible? You know how long I’ve been looking into that subject, and I would appreciate knowing the answers.”</p><p>“Sure,” Emile started walking off towards the door. “Come on, now. There isn’t any time to waste. Patton’s curious to find out what your emotion-filled self will be like, and so am I.”</p><p>The two disappeared out the door. Patton stared after them, wondering exactly what Emile had said he was. <em>Will I still like him? Will he like </em>me<em>? Will I even stand a chance at being with him?</em> These thoughts were so new to him, but Patton couldn’t stop. All he could think about was Logan- his handsome face, his kind nature, just <em>everything</em>. Patton wanted what he knew Virgil and Roman now had. Something tangible, something <em>there</em>. Because although Patton had never allowed himself to feel like this, he knew what this was. Love, pure love. Love for something that wasn’t God. Love for something that could maybe love him back down here on Earth.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Roman:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>All of this felt strangely wrong. Everything had worked out in the end, and that wasn’t right. How could this end so happily after such terrible things had been done? After all the hurt that Roman had felt, was it supposed to be fixed now? Because he still wanted to cut. He still felt guilty, even though he knew intellectually that he had gotten more than enough punishment already. There was still that knife in his boot. What if he-</p><p>Suddenly, Remus flopped down into the chair beside him. His eerie smile was gone, replaced by a look of deep blankness. He looked over at Roman. “Hey, I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For all the things I did to you. In… in the back of my mind the entire time, I knew that what I was doing was wrong, and I hated myself for doing all that shit. But I kept going, and I know I don’t deserve forgiveness, but I wanted to tell you that I regret it. I regret not- not treating you right. I wish we could’ve been real brothers. If I had stopped, we could have maybe been happy and moved on. But I knew it would’ve been hard, so I didn’t even try.”</p><p>Those words sounded alarmingly familiar. Where had Roman heard someone say this before? <em>I’ve thought those exact same words a million times… we really are a broken pair.</em> If only they’d told each other what they were thinking long ago. <em>At least it’s happening now.</em> He daintily took Remus’s hand and squeezed it. “Remus, everyone can achieve forgiveness. I thought I was unforgiveable until a few hours ago, but guess what? Virgil forgave me. So, I will forgive you too, because there’s been too much hate for so long.”</p><p>Remus’s eyes brimmed with tears, and he wiped them away. It took him a moment to respond. “Thank you.” They both went quiet, letting the silence speak all the words they couldn’t say. It was only broken when Virgil spoke up from a few feet away. “Hey, Remus… as soon as Emile finishes the surgery on Logan, I’m going to call in the police. If you leave now, I’ll say that you ran off and escaped. If you stay, you’re gonna get arrested or put in a mental hospital.”</p><p>Surprisingly, Remus didn’t take off running immediately. He instead looked down at the floor and then up at Virgil. “Okay. I’ll stay. After everything I’ve done, I do deserve a sentence. And maybe if I go to a mental hospital, they can fix my head. If I keep running, I’m just going to fall deeper into insanity, and that’s the last thing I want. Emile has always said these tests were going to be about the ability to face your problems. So, I’m gonna do that. I won’t run anymore.”</p><p><em>After all these years, he’s going to turn himself in.</em> Roman almost couldn’t believe it. But this new version of Remus that had revealed itself would do something like that. This new Remus cared about people. So, when Emile and Logan returned and Virgil instantly whipped out his phone, Roman gave his brother one last hug. It was ironic that when they finally forgave themselves and each other, they were pulled apart. But it was a resolution that Roman was happy with. No longer would he carry this guilt day after day. They had forgiven each other, and that was all that mattered.</p><p>When the police burst into the room and shackled Emile and Remus, Roman didn’t cry. Not because he wasn’t going to miss his brother, but because this was for the best. Remus was right; he was going to be taken a mental hospital, and they would take care of him. Although Roman’s own experience hadn’t been the best, he knew the doctors would make sure Remus’s thoughts become less intrusive. Everything would be okay.</p><p>“Hey,” Virgil nudged Roman with his elbow. There were still police around, but they were checking over the children. “After they’re done making sure Dante’s okay, I can introduce you to Dante. He’s a really special kid, you’ll love him.” His eyes were glowing with happiness, a smile on his face. <em>He’s so pretty…</em> A sudden thought popped into Roman’s head, and he spoke it aloud without thinking. “Virgil, do you want to move in with me?”</p><p>Virgil’s eyes widened in surprise. He didn’t speak for a moment. “Uh… why do you ask?”</p><p>A blush tinted Roman’s cheeks. “It’s just- ah- since Remus just got arrested, our apartment only has me living in it. So, if you wanted to, you could move in. There are two bedrooms! I’m sorry, this is really weird- um- I know people moving in with one another is usually something you do much later in the relationship, and you still have Anthropophobia, so-” He was cut off mid-sentence by Virgil kissing him. It was extremely soft, and it only lasted a moment, but it was enough. Virgil snickered, “You talk too much. Yeah, I’ll move in with you, but only if you let Dante join us. And yeah, I know people adopting a kid together is “usually something you do much later in the relationship”, but I don’t fucking care. Either you take both or neither.”</p><p>It only took one glance at the adorable child standing a few feet away for Roman to make up his mind. “I’ll take both, then.”</p><p>And if anyone noticed them kissing again, they didn’t say anything.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Logan:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>The moment Logan reawakened after his surgery, he felt very, very different.</p><p>Well, it took a moment for the blankness he had felt for twenty years to fade. To be replaced with something else. What was this? There was something inside of him. <em>How do I describe it?</em> His factual mind automatically began to search inside of himself. <em>Overwhelming, bubbly, like there’s a force inside me that makes me want to yell.</em> And because he didn’t see a reason why not to, he did. He yelled a plain cry, and something clanged behind him. “Jesus!” Emile cursed loudly. “Don’t do that! Sorry, you scared me.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Logan immediately felt- what did he feel? It was almost familiar. <em>I don’t want to do that ever again.</em> He didn’t want someone to suffer because of something he did. “Are you alright? Did I cause you any harm?”</p><p>“No, of course not.” Emile rolled past him on his doctor’s chair and leapt nimbly up as it crashed into the counter. He winked at Logan, “I’ve always wanted to do that, and if I’m going to jail, then why not? Come on, Patton will want to see you. But first, I want to ask you what you’re feeling right now. Describe it to me as best you can.”</p><p>“Overwhelmed. There’s something new inside of me. I believe I did something wrong.”</p><p>“Interesting,” Emile murmured, more to himself than to Logan. He patted Logan’s shoulder, “Don’t worry about scaring me. After all, your limbic system was ready to be put back in when you were sixteen, so you deserve to do that. Anyways, for at least a few years, you will struggle with developing a sense for your emotional capacity. At times you will feel cruel and like a terrible person because you will act out for no reason. That is natural. You may fall into depression. Essentially, depression will make you return to the state of feeling you were in before I replaced your limbic system. If that happens, see a doctor immediately. Write down all of your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Ask your new friends for advice. Just remember that you are as much human as everyone else. Now, I believe someone is waiting for you.”</p><p>Logan got up and they traversed back through the second floor silently. There were so many weird things circulating through Logan’s head. One of the strongest ones was the feeling of wanting to push Emile up against a wall and scream at him. He didn’t do anything, though. He didn’t understand why he wanted to do that. <em>Why? What’s this feeling inside me?</em> Irrationality was making him clench and unclench his fists. <em>This man hurt all of us. This man ruined all of our lives. This man hurt Patton. This man abandoned Patton.</em> And then he <em>was</em> pinning Emile up against the wall, his face contorting into an expression he didn’t know he could possibly make. “<em>Why</em>!? Why did you do this to us!? Why did REMI matter so much to you that you had to kill our friends and family!? In the process of trying to rescue people, you killed so many! You broke your oath as a doctor to never harm another human being! You’re a disgusting excuse for a hero!” And then he felt the overwhelming force inside of him come out through his eyes, and his body was shaking, and his hands were sticky with- what were these? <em>These are tears.</em></p><p>“I know,” Emile whispered. “And I will go to prison for what I did. There will be justice. I know for a fact that if you hurt me, you will regret it. You have the kindest heart I have ever known a person to have. So, just let the police have me. You won’t ever have to see me again. When we go back, all you have to do is sign your name on those documents and you get the credit for all my work. Does that sound good?”</p><p><em>Yes.</em> Yes, that sounded amazing. “Okay,” Logan agreed. He'd already let go of Emile, and so they simply continued on their way. The tears disappeared as quickly as they had come. <em>What is all of this? What am I feeling right now?</em> <em>What will regret feel like?</em></p><p>All thoughts flew out the metaphorical window the moment he laid eyes on Patton, though.</p><p>Something seemed to erupt inside of him. Something that had laid dormant for so long, that had somehow lingered in the depths of his soul even when he was missing his emotions. But now, it was awake, and Logan couldn’t stop himself. He crossed the room in what seemed to be a trance. Patton was saying something, but it didn’t matter. Grasping the front of Patton’s shirt, Logan crashed their lips together.</p><p>Patton let out a surprised squeak but didn’t pull away. The roaring in Logan’s ears- what was that? His body was overflowing with new sensations, but they all were screaming the same thing. <em>Patton.</em> This fierceness, this passion- he’d felt this in the hallway, but this was sweeter. This was the most incredible thing he’d ever felt in his feeling-less life. “What is this?” he whispered against Patton’s lips, still clutching onto him tightly with no intention of letting go.</p><p>“It’s love,” Patton murmured back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Epilogue, Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Logan tries to make sure Patton doesn't set the kitchen on fire.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Logan:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>On a sunny, chilly January evening in Gainesville, Florida, traffic was nonexistent, and the roads were mostly clear. The weather was quite nice; there wasn’t a cloud in sight, and yet a strong wind whistled past everyones’ ears. In one of the many neighborhoods of the city, in a small two-bedroom house, there lived a pair of young men by the names of Logan Sanders and Patton Sanders.</p><p>Of course, Logan wasn’t home yet. He was still driving back from the J. S. Mental Facility. It had been quite a long day. So many patients had signed up for REMI, and it had been extremely tiring to organize the perfect groups that would complement each other. His exhaustion and frustration were now coming out in his driving, and he kept finding himself doing aggressive things. Taking in a few deep breaths, he managed to calm himself. <em>I do not have anger issues.</em></p><p>At first, the emotions Logan experienced had felt so incredibly overwhelming. In fact, he’d almost wished he didn’t have them- <em>almost</em>. What reminded him of the good aspects of emotions was Patton. Patton, who was trying his best to be kinder, who was always there for Logan when he needed him. When Logan had Zoomed his parents to tell them everything, Patton had been there to tell him his tears were from happiness, not sadness. When Logan had broken down from all the work piling up around him, Patton had been there to tell him he was suffering from stress and needed to take a break. <em>If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be able to figure anything out.</em></p><p>It had only been yesterday when Patton and Logan moved in together on the outskirts of Gainesville. Patton had decided it would be best to move out of his mother’s house for the first time, and Logan wouldn’t have been able to run the mental hospital from San Francisco. He’d left his old job and was now generating quite the income from his new one. It seemed <em>everyone</em> wanted to get to know him, to listen to his theories. Newspapers and journalists asked for interviews with Logan Sanders, the man who’d brought forth the life-changing invention REMI. Of course, he always told them that he’d only tinkered with it and Dr. Emile Picani was the real scientist, but they all seemed to share his same mindset that Dr. Picani was a terrible person and should not be credited for such a feat.</p><p>The fame was incredibly stressful, but Logan was slowly- <em>very</em> slowly- learning his limits. Patton and his parents were there to support him. The rest would come with time.</p><p>Finally, his car pulled up into their driveway and he got out of the car, carrying two bags of groceries. Unfortunately, this made him unable to open the door. He carefully kicked gently against the door, idly singing the lyrics to <em>The Watchtower</em> by The Do in his head. The door opening made him jump in surprise- he still wasn’t used to his reflexes. It was Thomas; he took one of the bags quickly. “Let me help you!” Together, they made their way to the kitchen and set down the bags on the counter. In the living room adjacent, Joan and Patton were sitting on the couch watching <em>Steven Universe</em>, about six boxes scattered on the floor. Patton looked up a waved, “Hi, Logan! I was about to start making dinner, you can come in and watch <em>Steven Universe</em> with Joan and Thomas!”</p><p>“Aha, no,” Logan started unloading the groceries as Thomas returned to the living room. Patton got up and swooped over. “Why not? I was going to make fried egg sandwiches! Does that not sound good? I’ve always loved fried egg sandwiches.”</p><p>Logan sighed and stuck a carton of almond milk into the fridge. “I don’t think you know the level of disaster you impart when you try to cook or bake something. Please, go watch your show while I make burrito bowls for everyone.” He’d prepared to make a large meal, since Thomas and Joan had agreed to help Patton unpack his things. Unfortunately, Patton crossed his arms and stood his ground. “No, I want to help out!”</p><p>“Fine.” Pulling out his phone, Logan scrolled through his contacts and clicked on Virgil’s icon. Waiting as it rung, after a few seconds there was a clicking sound and Virgil’s voice came over, “Hello?” <em>Thank goodness he wasn’t busy.</em> Logan held the phone up to his ear, “Hello Virgil. I have called you to-” Patton tried to reach up and take the device, but he dodged. “Stop it!- to ask you if you think Patton should be allowed anywhere near the kitchen. There is a right answer.” He went to the other side of the kitchen to escape his boyfriend, who was desperately trying to sabotage his plan. From the other end, there was a moment of silence before Virgil answered. “Uh, I’m gonna guess no? But why?”</p><p>“See?” he covered the phone’s speaker with a finger and smirked at Patton, who huffed in defense and stayed put. “Virgil agrees with me.” He took his finger away and continued, “Thank you, but Patton still won’t leave the kitchen. Either way, thank you for your time. I wish you a good evening doing whatever you’re doing right now. Is Roman there?” Perhaps a third opinion would convince Patton to go relax instead of destroying their dinner.</p><p>Silence followed, and then Virgil responded, “No, he isn’t here. He’s probably off doing some play where he’s a fancy gay cowboy who is overdramatic about moving to the big city to become an actor with big dreams.” The sound of wind loudly rushed by and then Roman’s voice spoke, “I’m right here, specs. What do you need?”</p><p>As Patton tried to stand up on his tip-toes to achieve his goal, Logan maneuvered to make sure he didn’t. “Tell Patton to get out of the kitchen before he sets something on fire.” Instead of an acquiescence, though, Roman laughed a bit and said closer to the microphone, “Patton, don’t you leave until he tells you to stay. Set the entire kitchen on fire. Dante, you want Patton to burn their kitchen down, right? I’m sure Patton would send pictures.” There was a faint voice, but they were too far away to be heard clearly. Once again, the phone was traded away, and Virgil was back. “Patton, be careful around the oven and don’t touch any knives. Anyways, Logan, how’s REMI going? I heard that it’s been accepted as a working option for patients suffering from any form of trauma. I mean, that was the goal, right?”</p><p><em>It really was… this is what Dr. Picani wanted. Is it good that we did exactly what he asked? He might have sabotaged REMI somehow for his own future plans.</em> Logan kept his concerns to himself. “Yes, we had a few more <em>legal</em> tests that had the software to kill removed, and it works perfectly. I’ve even adjusted it myself a bit to fix the switching hosts problem. I’ve gone back in a couple times and it’s rather intriguing. After adding in some new features, you can enter REMI and use it more like a VR video game. It’s almost exactly like the dream sequences from <em>An Absolutely Remarkable Thing</em> by Hank Green. You can program whole worlds beforehand and then explore them yourself. I wouldn’t be surprised if in the next couple years, some teams approach me asking to use it to create video games. Dr. Picani not only made something that can help people suffering from mental trauma and disorders, but a source of entertainment. As much as we all hate him for what he did to us and the people he murdered, REMI is a brilliant invention. I only wish it had come about in a less bloody way.”</p><p>“Well…” Virgil’s voice seemed unsure, but then he continued. “Emile was kinda right, even though I hate to say it. None of us would’ve met if it weren’t for the things he did. Obviously, they were still terrible, but some good things did come out of it. I’m sure you can testify to that. Is it weird having emotions now? Like, how is it different?”</p><p><em>How is it </em>not<em> different</em>? Even right now, he could feel that strange feeling of enjoyment, refusing to let Patton have the phone. He was <em>enjoying</em> speaking to his friends. Two months before, he wouldn’t have batted an eye if any of them had been murdered in front of him. “In every way. I have been told more often than not that I seem to struggle with anger issues when I am simply stating my opinion. I can’t help it if people act idiotic when the answers are right in front of them. I do find it pleasant when I’m in a… happy situation? I’m not sure how you would describe it. In any case, it’s certainly better than what I felt- or rather, what I didn’t feel- before my surgery. I can’t believe everyone else feels things for their entire lives. It’s all so strange to me! Luckily, I have Patton here to explain things to me.” Just as his guard was let down, Patton finally ripped the phone away, giggling happily. “Hey-!” Logan objected, but his boyfriend ignored him as he spun around the tile floor and gushed into the device. “I couldn’t let him to be the only one to talk to you! I just wanted to tell you that we should definitely come up to visit you sometime! We could all go see a musical together! How’s Dante, by the way?”</p><p>Unfortunately, Logan now couldn’t hear what the people on the other end were saying. Patton was silent for a bit and then beamed, “Yes! Alright, we should probably leave you be. You guys have a great night, okay? Bye!” He hung up and handed Logan back his phone. “Heehee, I won! But I’ll let you make dinner yourself since you’re so worried about it- on one condition.” Before Logan could say anything, Patton grabbed his tie and kissed him passionately. Logan’s eyes widened in surprise and he didn’t have time to kiss back. Within a few seconds, Patton was walking back to the living room, leaving him leaning against the counter with his face exploding with a blush. <em>He’s</em> full<em> of surprises…</em> It took a moment for him to recover enough to start preparing dinner, still incredibly flustered.</p><p>Eventually, the rice had cooked, and all the toppings were organized in their different bowls. Dishing up some burrito bowls for everyone, Logan carried out the food to Joan and Thomas first and then returned to the kitchen to grab Patton’s and his own. Thomas and Joan were now sitting on the floor, so Logan settled down beside Patton and spread a blanket over their laps. The lights were off and the sun had set, leaving them in total darkness save the TV screen. Personally, Logan preferred <em>Avatar: The Last Airbender</em> over <em>Steven Universe</em>, but both shows were incredible, and he was fine with watching the latter. It was extremely comfortable, eating dinner while watching a playful cartoon, with Patton huddled up against him. <em>This is true happiness.</em></p><p>In all the years that Logan had researched the possibility of brain transplants, he’d never really believed it was possible. He’d dedicated his life to it, yet he had already given up on being normal. <em>Maybe that’s why I never discovered how to accomplish it.</em> In fact, after studying Emile’s notes, he’d realized that the answer had been right in front of him the entire time. Had he just not seen it, or had he purposefully avoided it? <em>Did I really want to become like everyone else?</em></p><p>Perhaps it had been more complex than Logan had first thought. Yes, he had tried to figure out the secrets of the brain to become more human, but technically, he hadn’t been able to <em>want</em> anything. What had driven him all those years? <em>The promise that something better was ahead? Or maybe along with no will to live I had no will to die?</em> That must’ve been it. Logan had toiled endlessly on his research but hadn’t really cared about <em>any</em> of it. It was part of his schedule, looping on forever as Logan grew older and never progressed with his life. <em>I probably would’ve started acting recklessly- not taking any precautions before doing anything dangerous. Walking across the street without looking both ways, not buckling my seatbelt, staying out late at night… Who knows what would have happened to me?</em></p><p>All of that was over now, though. Things had changed- Emile had saved him. That brain transplant had been necessary, and with the experiment not only had Logan gotten his emotions back, but his mental state had been fixed. It was hard, still, to remind himself that he mattered just as much as the people around him, but it was getting better. There were times when he would lock himself in his room and either throw something or sob in the safety of his bed. Usually this happened after a stressful day or after a fight with someone. He absolutely hated hurting others- it went against everything he had ever done his entire life. But with emotions came selfishness, and he was learning to accept that he had to come first before others. No more self-sacrificing behaviors.</p><p>They had watched three episodes of <em>Steven Universe</em> when Patton got up. “I’m gonna turn in early, guys. Unpacking everything exhausted me! Have fun with the show.” After rinsing his dish in the sink, he went down the hallway. His bedroom door <em>click!</em>ed and there was silence again. Then Joan nodded their head towards the hallway. “You can go fuck with him if you want to, Logan, we really don’t mind.”</p><p>Thomas burst into rip-roaring laughter while Logan felt his cheeks heat up. He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Extremely mature, Joan. And just because of that comment, I’m going to my room. I don’t need to deal with your- whatever.” Logan stood up and left the room, taking his bowl to the sink just like Patton had and then heading down towards his room. After changing into shorts and a T-shirt, he brushed his teeth. But as he was about to enter his own room, his eyes drifted to Patton’s door. <em>No! I don’t want Joan to think he was right.</em> Unfortunately, he couldn’t help the yearning in his heart and he instead entered Patton’s room, being careful to shut the door as quietly as possible.</p><p>Patton was already in bed. He looked as if he was asleep, but his breathing was too fast. When Logan entered, his eyes opened. “What is it?” he asked, sitting up. “Do you need something?”</p><p>“I…” That blush returned and Logan cursed himself. <em>What’s wrong with wanting to spend the night with my boyfriend instead of alone?</em> “I was wondering if maybe I could… sleep with you tonight. Not in the, ah- <em>sleep with you</em> type, just… I apologize, this sounds weird. I just don’t really feel like being alone tonight.” <em>I sound like a complete idiot! I shouldn’t be embarrassed!</em> For a couple few heartbeats, Patton stared at him. Then he laughed quietly. “Of course you can, you adorable doctor. You’re my boyfriend, you don’t need to ask.”</p><p>Logan nodded and awkwardly went over to the bed, pulling up the covers and getting in beside Patton. Patton cuddled against him, smiling as he looked into Logan’s eyes. Even now, after his limbic system had been returned, Logan had a hard time keeping eye contact for long. But he forced himself to return the gaze, and he admired Patton’s bright blue eyes. <em>I’ve never seen a truer blue than that…</em> How lucky he was to have ended up with a man like this. <em>Somehow, he fell in love with me when I was still emotionless… he stuck with me, even though I’m so confusing.</em></p><p>“Whatcha thinking about?” Patton murmured, his fingers idly and ever so softly stroking Logan’s arm. <em>If I don’t move an inch, maybe he won’t stop.</em> Logan blinked slowly, “You. I can’t help it. What about you?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” his boyfriend broke eye contact. <em>Isn’t that supposed to be lying? I’m not sure.</em> Logan leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Patton’s nose. “People only say that when they don’t want to say what it is, I’ve heard. You can tell me anything, Patton. I would never judge you for something you might be considering.”</p><p>Patton hesitated, and then shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, we can talk about it tomorrow.”</p><p>“Alright,” Logan held him close, letting himself drift off into sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Epilogue, Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Virgil, Roman, and Dante spend the evening out in the city.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Virgil:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>On an average, cloudy January evening in Manhattan, New York City, cars were flooding through the streets of the city. The weather was slightly chilly and yet warm at the same time- the sun was positioned in the one spot in the sky that wasn’t blocked by clouds. In a tall apartment building, in a two-bedroom apartment, there lived a pair of young men by the names of Virgil Sanders and Roman Sanders.</p><p>“Roman, get your ass out here!” Virgil shouted from the kitchen. Today was the day that Virgil would become the official guardian of Dante. They were about to leave and go to the social services office to pick him up. <em>Finally, finally, finally.</em> Excitement was bubbling inside him and he couldn’t help but grin. He’d even made chocolate chip cookies for when Dante got back and was eating one himself. They were from a recipe he had made often with his father as a young teen. Ever since the day his father had been murdered, Virgil hadn’t been able to bring himself to make them, but he had felt a determination that morning. And although it hurt, following through the steps that he still somehow knew so well, there was a resolution in it that made him happy.</p><p>A couple minutes later, Roman stormed out of his bedroom. “I’m sorry!” he said, a look of genuine apology on his face as he quickly pulled on his white jacket. “I thought we still had twenty minutes before we had to leave.”</p><p>“We do,” Virgil snatched another cookie from the rack and held it out to Roman. “But these cookies are best fresh out of the oven, and I want you to know the full majesty of my dad’s recipe. Apparently, he invented it for my mom in college. Here, take it. It’s delicious.”</p><p>Doing as he was asked, Roman took the cookie graciously. “Oh, thank you! It looks like quite the special cookie.” He bit off about half of it and immediately moaned in delight, speaking through it. “Delicious!” His reaction made Virgil smile even more. <em>Thank goodness.</em> To be honest, Virgil had been worried he hadn’t made it that well. When Roman swallowed, he frowned slightly. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your mom?”</p><p>“Oh,” Virgil replied simply. He looked down at the floor. “Cancer, I think. I don’t really remember it that well. Apparently, that’s where my anxiety sparked from.” <em>None of that matters. That’s in the past now. I’m happy! I have Roman, and after today, Dante too. They are my family now. A real family.</em> This brought his spirits back up. <em>They’re the only people since that day that’ve actually cared about me, who’ve stuck with me. Nobody’s gonna take them away from me.</em> “Come on, let’s get going.”</p><p>They went down the stairs of the interior complex and out into the streets of the city. As their destination was across Manhattan, they were going to have to take the bus. The trip went by so quickly that Virgil hardly noticed the passage of time. He was too excited to see Dante again, to be able to fully consider him family. It felt strange to think of Dante as a son, though. <em>Maybe that’s not what our relationship would be. We’ll be best friends instead!</em> That sounded better.</p><p>Then they were at the office, signing the last of the papers. And there was Dante, running up to Virgil to hug him. Virgil held him close, thankful for so many things in that moment. Thankful for his new family, thankful for the support his new friends gave him, and thankful that the years of fear were now passing. This was the day that the next part of his life would start, and he knew it would be much better than the last.</p><p>As they went back onto the streets of Manhattan, Roman tapped Virgil’s shoulder and asked, “We don’t have anything else to do today, right? So, we could perhaps visit the mall, maybe stop by <em>See’s Candies</em>?” Before Virgil could say anything, Dante let out a big gasp and pulled at Virgil’s jacket sleeve. “Can we? Can we please, Virgil?” His eyes glimmered hopefully, and his mouth was slightly open in awe. <em>I can’t say no to that face.</em> “Yeah, sure,” Virgil ruffled Dante’s hair a bit. “It’s probably a ten-minute walk from here, but if you’re willing to work for some candy, I can’t say no.” So, with that, they were off.</p><p>It truly was a beautiful evening. As the sun began to set, it casted orange and red lights through the Center of the Universe. The skyscrapers that had once become so dull to Virgil now held the same wonder that they had when he and his father had visited it. <em>So many people, so many lives…</em> So many cars and people bustled in the streets, making the manmade construct seem alive. Virgil and Roman each held one of Dante’s hands to make sure he didn’t get lost or taken. It was strange how only a few months before, Virgil would’ve never considered going to the mall. But through some exercises Virgil’s new therapist was having him do, his fears were starting to calm. Just starting, though- he still had a long ways’ to go before he could stand social situations like other people. But it was better than before, and that’s all that mattered.</p><p>The Manhattan Mall was packed. The moment they opened the glass doors to go inside, Virgil’s anxiety spiked. There were <em>so many</em> of them. Every inch of the building had people. He could feel his breath starting to come in more quickly. <em>Not now, not now, not now!</em> He had to calm down- there was no way that his Anthropophobia was going to get in the way of their good day. <em>I can do this. I can do this.</em> Roman furrowed his eyebrows at him, “Are you sure about this, Virgil?” That question gave Virgil the determination he needed. “Of course I am,” he scoffed. “Why would you otherwise? Come on, I think the <em>See’s Candies</em> is this way.” They dived into the crowd and began to search out the fabled candy store.</p><p>It was deep inside the mall. Virgil clung tightly onto Dante’s hand, refusing to let him go. <em>Anyone could snag him. I’m not going to lose him on day one.</em> Surprisingly, there weren’t many people in the small store. The line only had three people in it. <em>Thank goodness.</em> As he began to relax from relief of people, he pointed through the glass counter at all the hundreds of candies. “Alright, Dante, what do you want?”</p><p>Dante stared at the selection intently, his eyes narrowed. Finally, he stuck a finger against the glass. “That one! The chocolate raisins!” His beam returned and Virgil couldn’t help but chuckle. “Okay. What about you, Roman?”</p><p>“Oh,” Roman grinned nervously, “No, I’m good.”</p><p><em>When will he learn that he can ask for things he wants?</em> Even with Virgil’s help, Roman still had quite the issue with giving himself things. He had spent so long punishing himself that Virgil was starting to think it would forever be a part of him. Of course, Virgil already knew Roman’s choice candy, so when they got up to the cash register to order he said to the employee, “A cup of chocolate-covered raisins, a butterscotch lollipop, and four Strawberry Creams, please.” It was barely a mumble, but the employee nodded and started collecting them. Roman let out a shocked, <em>“uh!”</em>, and blushed slightly. “I told you I’m good!”</p><p>“I’m not getting them for you,” Virgil shrugged. Then he smirked. “I’m getting them for myself, and then I’m going to blackmail you into eating them by refusing to kiss you until you do.” He snickered as with another huff, Roman crossed his arms and pouted. “Fine, you win.”</p><p>Once they’d left with their candies and free samples- Virgil gave his to Dante- they came across a <em>Round Table</em>. They would’ve passed it by, but Roman halted and pulled out his phone. “It’s six o’ clock. Do you guys wanna stop here, eat somewhere else, or eat at home?” He took a slow bite of one of his Strawberry Creams as he tapped something into his phone. Virgil looked down at Dante, “I’m good with eating here. You want pizza, Dante?”</p><p>“Yes,” Dante whispered, as if accepting was going to make him a God.</p><p>Without any objections, they went inside and ordered a Guinevere’s Garden Delight Medium 12 pizza before sitting down in a reclusive corner of the eating area. Dante sat next to Virgil, with Roman across from them. After a few minutes, Dante pointed off across the room. “It’s the man,” he whispered, frowning. “Do you think he might be after our pizza?”</p><p>Virgil looked to where he was pointing. Obviously, there was nobody there. <em>What do I say?</em> He shook his head, “No, he’s just keeping an eye on us. He’s protecting us from anyone who would want to hurt us.” <em>Telling him that the man isn’t there is useless. Dante already knows that and telling him it’s not there doesn’t make it disappear for him.</em> The young boy’s eyes widened, “How do you know that?”</p><p>“Well,” Virgil smiled, “You said he doesn’t point a gun at you anymore at night. Maybe he’s decided that his purpose would be better served by protecting you rather than harming you. He’s like your silent guardian.” <em>Maybe that’ll make him feel better.</em> What he didn’t expect was for Dante to hug him and say adorably, “No, I already have a guardian, and you’re the coolest.” From across the table, Roman looked like he was going to scream from cuteness overload. Virgil felt his cheeks heat up. <em>Am I really that important to him?</em> He hugged Dante back, “That’s true.”</p><p>“For Sanders!” someone called up from the counter. Roman winked at them, “I’ll be right back with our delicious pizza! It will definitely be a meal made for guardians and knights alike, as we are Knights of the Round Table! I shall return with a dish made by Guinevere herself; a meal so tasty you will fall into her trance of love! How do you think Lancelot fell in love with her so easily? It was through her marvelous recipes of fabled pizza!” His speech made Dante burst into giggles, and Virgil raised an eyebrow, “Did you learn that in school?”</p><p>Roman glared at him, “The Arthurian legend was the only area of history I knew well, and then we never covered it in class. Anyways! I will return.” He swooped off, leaving Dante and Virgil by themselves. It was just in that moment when Virgil felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, and he pulled it out to find that Logan was calling him. <em>What’s this about?</em> He picked it up, “Hello?”</p><p>“Hello, Virgil,” Logan’s voice came over the phone. “I have called you to- stop it!- to ask if you think Patton should be allowed anywhere near the kitchen. There is a right answer.” There was some rustling on his side. <em>Pfft, what’s going on?</em> Virgil put a finger to his lips, and Dante nodded quietly. “Uh, I’m gonna guess no? But why?”</p><p>“See?” Logan’s faint voice spoke. “Virgil agrees with me.” He then continued more loudly, “Thank you, but Patton still won’t leave the kitchen. Either way, thank you for your time. I wish you a good evening doing whatever you’re doing right now. Is Roman there?”</p><p>Of course, Roman had just come back with their pizza and he frowned, gesturing to the phone. Virgil pointed to his head and Roman nodded. <em>Logan.</em> “No, he isn’t here. He’s probably off doing some play where he’s a fancy gay cowboy who is overdramatic about moving to the big city to become an actor with big dreams.” This caught Roman’s attention and he snatched the phone, rolling his eyes. “I’m right here, specs. What do you need?”</p><p>“Tell Patton to get out of the kitchen before he sets something on fire.”</p><p>Serving Dante a couple slices of pizza, Roman chuckled and said, “Patton, don’t you leave until he tells you to stay. Set the entire kitchen on fire. Dante, you want Patton to burn their kitchen down, right? I’m sure Patton would send pictures.” Through a mouthful of pizza, Dante laughed a bit and whined, “Noooo! They could get hurt!” He shook Virgil by the arm, being careful not to touch Virgil’s jacket with his now-greasy fingers. “Make Patton stop!!”</p><p>Reluctantly, Roman handed the phone back over and Virgil set down his piece of pizza to talk. “Patton, be careful around the oven and don’t touch any knives. Anyways, Logan, how’s REMI going? I heard that it’s been accepted as a working option for patients suffering from any form of trauma. I mean, that was the goal, right?”</p><p>“Yes,” Logan agreed. “We had a few more <em>legal</em> tests that had the software to kill removed, and it works perfectly. I’ve even adjusted it myself a bit to fix the switching hosts problem. I’ve gone back in a couple times and it’s rather intriguing. After adding in some new features, you can enter REMI and use it more like a VR video game. It’s almost exactly like the dream sequences from <em>An Absolutely Remarkable Thing</em> by Hank Green. You can program whole worlds beforehand and then explore them yourself. I wouldn’t be surprised if in the next couple years, some teams approach me asking to use it to create video games. Dr. Picani not only made something that can help people suffering from mental trauma and disorders, but a source of entertainment. As much as we all hate him for what he did to us and the people he murdered, REMI is a brilliant invention. I only wish it had come about in a less bloody way.”</p><p>Virgil glanced over at Dante, who was finishing up his first piece. <em>If Margaret hadn’t been killed, I would’ve never adopted Dante. Maybe we would’ve stayed in contact, but probably not. Because of Remus and Emile, I have him in my life.</em> “Well… Emile was kinda right, even though I hate to say it. None of us would’ve met if it weren’t for the things he did. Obviously, they were still terrible, but some good things did come out of it. I’m sure you can testify to that. Is it weird having emotions now? Like, how is it different?”</p><p>“In every way,” Logan admitted. “I have been told more often than not that I seem to struggle with anger issues when I am simply stating my opinion. I can’t help it if people act idiotic when the answers are right in front of them. I do find it pleasant when I’m in a… happy situation? I’m not sure how you would describe it. In any case, it’s certainly better than what I felt- or rather, what I didn’t feel- before my surgery. I can’t believe everyone else feels things for their entire lives. It’s all so strange to me! Luckily, I have Patton here to explain things to me. Hey-!” Loud rustling came over the phone, and a moment later, Patton’s clear giggle could be heard. “I couldn’t let him to be the only one to talk to you! I just wanted to tell you that we should definitely come up to visit you sometime! We could all go see a musical together! How’s Dante, by the way?”</p><p>Dante gave a thumbs-up as he chewed his food, and Virgil smiled. “He’s doing great. And yeah, a musical sounds great. Does <em>The Lion King</em> sound interesting? I’d rather watch something more kid friendly so Dante can come along too.”</p><p>“Yes!” Patton cheered. “Alright, we should probably leave you be. You guys have a great night, okay? Bye!” The call ended and Virgil slipped his phone back into his pocket. He hungrily snatched another piece. “Gosh, I can finally eat something. Remind me to turn off my phone before we go out to eat next time. Do you like the pizza, Dante? Or do you think next time we should try something else?”</p><p>“This is great!” Dante exclaimed excitedly. “But I wanna try out all the different kinds so I’ll know the best one!”</p><p>“Alright,” Roman leaned back, “How about we eat here once every… three weeks?”</p><p><em>That’s a good idea.</em> It would be nice to have a staple like that in their lives, not to mention it was semi-regular pizza. Virgil nodded, “I like that idea. We’ll try out all the different pizzas, and then we’ll be <em>Round Table</em> experts. Do you guys wanna finish this here and go somewhere else, or do you wanna take this home? It’s…” he checked the time, “Six-twenty. We could go see a movie, look around the mall some more, or-”</p><p>Roman suddenly gasped, “We could go to Central Park! I’ve never gone myself, but I’ve heard it’s magical at night! To see the city lights off in the distance but to be surrounded by nature! Especially in the winter on the Bow Bridge! It would be so splendid!” He sighed, as if now in a romantic daydream about an anime character. Virgil wasn’t entirely sure about it. “I don’t know… what if someone tries to take Dante in the dark? It could be dangerous…”</p><p>A tugging on his sleeve got his attention. Looking over at Dante, his heart melted. Dante eyes were almost glittering, wide with hope. <em>I can’t say no to that face.</em> “Alright, we can go. But we’re leaving at eight, okay? No later than that. Let’s finish this up quickly.”</p><p>The moment their pizza had been completely consumed, they booked it out of the mall and started running through the streets. Roman had Google Maps up and guided them. Virgil clutched Dante’s small hand tightly. <em>I’m never going to let him go.</em> All three of them were laughing gleefully as they went. It felt so nice to enjoy this moment with the two people Virgil loved most. Just them in this wondrous city, smiling, <em>happy</em>. <em>Logan was right… it’s definitely pleasant to be happy.</em></p><p>The Bow Bridge, which Roman was adamant about visiting, was luckily towards their side of Central Park. After marching over the paths and through the greenery as the last lights of the sun faded behind the horizon, they finally reached the fabled bridge. It was a beautiful one: a single white arch stretching out over The Lake- Roman had to take a breather after discovering the name of the lake it crossed. Bare trees went up to the shorelines on either side. There were only a few other people there, luckily. They arrived at the end of the bridge and looked out across Central Park. Indeed, Roman had been correct; the view was magnificent. Virgil reached into his jacket pocket only to discover that his small sketchpad wasn’t there. He must’ve left it at home. <em>A picture will have to do instead. </em>He was about to take out his phone, but Roman grabbed his arm. “No pictures,” he whispered. “Let’s just remember this moment in our heads.”</p><p>“Nah,” Virgil took out his phone and snapped quick photo anyway.</p><p>“Virgil!” Dante pointed down at the shore. “Can I go under the bridge?” His eyes were wide with excitement. <em>Someone might snatch him…</em> Virgil thought about it for a moment and then nodded, “Alright, but we’re coming with you.”</p><p>“Actually,” Roman started jogging away, “I’ll be right back!” He headed back towards the way they came. <em>I wonder where he’s going?</em> Hopefully, he wouldn’t be too long. Virgil wanted to savor this night with both of his new family members. “Guess it’s just us, then. Come on, let’s see what’s under there.” Carefully, they walked down the small slope to the water. Unfortunately, the stone support went all the way up to the edge and there was no underneath to explore. Dante let out an “awwww” of disappointment. <em>How do I cheer him back up?</em> Picking up a small stick, Virgil cleared away some debris to make an empty space in the dirt. “Want to play some tick-tack-toe? Get another stick.”</p><p>They played tick-tack-toe for about seven minutes, Virgil letting Dante win all but once. Dante was boasting about his sixth victory in a row before Roman returned, one hand holding a blue balloon and the other held behind his back. “Here you go, my marvelous Prince!” He handed the balloon to Dante, whose mouth dropped open in wonderment. The little boy whispered, “It’s so pretty… thank you!” He sat down and held it close to him, rubbing his hand against the plastic. <em>That’s adorable.</em> Virgil murmured quietly to Roman, “What a good idea. That was really nice of you, Roman. Maybe you’re not the himbo I thought you were.”</p><p>“Offense taken,” Roman chuckled lightly, “But I got you something too.” Out from behind his back came a beautiful white rose. It looked very delicate, like the petals were made of porcelain. The stem didn’t have any thorns on it, which took away the threat that roses usually carried. Virgil took it and a long whiff of it. “I don’t smell anything,” he commented, “Aren’t flowers supposed to smell nice or something?”</p><p>His boyfriend rolled his eyes and continued on quietly, “It’s a romantic gesture. Tonight has truly been magical, my dark angel. Thank you for putting aside your worries and letting us venture out into the grand city. I can tell you’re tense, but I can also tell you’re actually enjoying this. So, that’s what the rose is for. To let you know that even though you may not have a lot of protection right now, you’re still shining brightly.”</p><p>“Shut up with the romantic talk,” Virgil leaned forward and kissed him.</p><p>The kiss was soft but sure, filled with the undying love that Roman and Virgil shared. Even after two months, their kisses felt the same as they had in that dreamscape. Pure, happy, lovely. Can an action feel beautiful? <em>This feels beautiful.</em> The whole <em>day</em> felt gorgeous. <em>Nothing’s as gorgeous as Roman, though.</em> Roman took Virgil’s hand and squeezed it. This was what Virgil wanted. A flower was nice, but all he needed was Roman. Roman was more than enough. <em>I’m a simple gay man… I just want to be with the people I love.</em> That’s all he ever asked for, and now that he had re-learned that it was okay to trust others, he was getting it.</p><p>After about thirty seconds, they pulled away from each other. Just looking into Roman’s amber eyes made Virgil’s heart soar. <em>I’m so lucky to have met him.</em> Out of all the people that could’ve been chosen for the experiment, it had been them. Virgil didn’t believe in soulmates, but he knew that they had something special. Perhaps it was the fact that they had suffered some of the same things. They both shared some trepidation about physical romance from their experiences with Remus: Virgil from rape and Roman from sexual abuse. They both had walled off their romantic feelings, even if they were for opposite reasons. And they both had been unable to hide their feelings when it came down to it.</p><p>“Look!” Dante exclaimed, coming over and holding out his hand. On it was a tiny frog. It let out a loud <em>CROOAAAK!</em> Virgil grinned, “Good job! They must’ve been hard to catch!” The frog seemed quite relaxed and didn’t try to escape. Dante was beaming, “Look how pretty it is! It’s so green!”</p><p><em>It really is cute… I think it’s a Green Frog, but I’m not sure.</em> “You should let them go,” Virgil suggested, “That way they can return home to their family. Who knows? They might have a date tonight with another attractive frog. They’ll have to get ready and put on their little grass bow tie. You don’t want to keep them from that, do you?”</p><p>“No, he can go!” Dante went back to where he was and murmured something to the frog as he set it back down. As he left, Roman said, “What should I be to Dante? I mean, technically, you’re his only guardian. How do I fit into his life?” Virgil considered this for a moment. Then he shrugged. “Well, I’m his best friend. He really likes you, too. So, he can be your best friend too. Does that sound like a good idea?”</p><p>With a smile, Roman nodded, “Yeah, it does.”</p><p>~The End~</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welcome to the end of the Lies series.</p><p>To have read this far is to have accomplished a feat I did not expect many to try. I did not expect so much support during the publication and writing process. So many people messaged me and commented about their theories and hopes. People interacted with me on my many, many activity posts on Quotev hinting about future chapters. Thank you- all of you- for being here during this journey.</p><p>I have said this a thousand times, but I will repeat it for the ones who still have not heard:</p><p>This series is not about horror. It's not about mystery. It's about accepting the mistakes you and others have made, and moving forward with your life to a new, happier day. Bad things in your life may happen- horrific things- but your life will get better. If you try your best and you let people into your heart, things will work out. By sharing a little kindness with the world, you give it a reason to share a little back.</p><p>If you are suffering from any of the mental issues that the characters in this series do, I advise you to seek help from family, friends, or a therapist. PTSD, (social) anxiety, repression, emotional apathy, depression, self-harm, self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts- all of those are signs that you are not okay. Please, do not wait until you have a mental health crisis like the characters in this book did. You can stop your trauma if you let other people help you.</p><p>I wish you a good night/day. Keep on fighting- the world needs you.</p>
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